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(pt1) I rought a short adventure phantasy story, what do y'all think?

A world on the other side

One day there was a woman named Riuma Tempest, on her way to the train to see her sickly grandmother. Sadly during that day there was a dreadful turn of events since there was a mistake on the timing on the train schedule. And with her horrible luck that day she was on one of those trains. Unknowingly she gets into the train with a beautiful bouquet of flowers finding herself a seat near the front. After about 20 minutes another train was coming towards them at full speed not being able to stop because of broken brakes. The sodon collision had caused many deaths her being one of the many. Fortunately, she woke up. But she didn't feel right her voice sounding like she was a young girl but her voice had a strange monotone, “this isn't my voice?” she said looking at a mirror “NOR IS THIS MY BODY?”.

Suddenly she got a horrible migraine, gaining memories that are not hers. For the rest of the day she was feeling slightly ill. Not much longer after a silver haired lady enters her room telling her “Pack your things, NOW, you useless brat!” this lady had a sour, crude and stern personality towards her. “Come on Milly, your brother is waiting for you downstairs” the lady said sternly. She rushed down stairs and a boy calls out to her saying “where were you Milly? You know as your older brother Moxy Trinity I am responsible for you.” (Milly) “huh so that's my supposed last name in this new found body” she said to herself.

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I posted the full story in a my take.
(pt1) I rought a short adventure phantasy story, what do y'all think?
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