Would you have preferred this Barbie movie?

[ObscuredBeyond]

I had this crazy idea for a non-woke Barbie movie that probably would've been revolutionary. As in, started an actual civil war. Mixing Barbie with The Sound of Freedom, Doomsday Preppers, and Breaking Bad.

Barbie and Ken become preppers in Montana, because Let's Go Brandon.

But then, Midge learns too much. And shares with Barbie. They foiled an operation in Oregon that would've made a local politician into Epstein on steroids, and they freed a bunch of kids. Joe was furious, as were the rag mags.

Midge is abducted by the gubmint, and sent to the funny farm, so no one will believe her testimony.

Knowing less than Midge, Barbie is abducted and tucked away in a federal prison. That will keep her from talking to anyone that matters!

Ken gets as drunk as Star Lord in Guardians 3, unable to cope, and paranoid they're gonna get him next and sell his kidneys!

That's when crazy as heck Courtney, a trucker, comes back out of nowhere, with a plan. Seems a lot of folks suddenly want her dead too, but she's seen Ken come too far, only to throw it away and become a slobbering mess! She won't stand for it! Time to go to New Mexico, and get some friends and C4!

Probably can't be literal Walt as her friend, for legal reasons, but similar character. Some heists later, it's time to bust Barbie out of the slammer!

Would you all watch this Barbie movie? I agree with Shapiro that the one that got released is hot garbage. But this one? I'd consider watching.

Updates

9 mo

So just a quick update: Facebook is losing its mind over this pitch, everyone on DeviantArt loves Doomsday Prepper Barbie, and no one on GaG knows what to do with it.

Who knew a few dolls plugged into an AI with a premise that's almost believable could kick up so many hornets' nests?

[Sevenpointfive]

courtney is hot asf and triggered fondling my sisters barbies as a tot

[RingOfFire]

...

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

What kind of fever dream did I just read?

[ObscuredBeyond]

It began with a self-imposed challenge to write a premise for a better Barbie movie, after hearing about how Ben Shapiro got death threats for not liking the one that came out.

Then, I asked an AI what a doomsday prepper Barbie would look like. Didn't quite get the results I wanted, so I prompted for Far Cry 5. It was perfect. So then, I told it to reimagine Ken. I then remembered a "Jailbird Barbie" joke from when I was in middle school, and plugged that into the AI.

So I tried to remake the whole cast, but umpteen different kinds of fouled up.

Then, I remembered that one Mrs. Weinstein case in New York, with her hubby the lawyer being a corrupt ally of pedophiles in schools, who got her kidnapped and locked up in a mental hospital, so she couldn't testify in court, and kept her there indefinitely, not allowing her access to paperwork to file any appeals against him. Freaking devil.

Then, I got curious what a Walter White Ken doll would look like. And I remembered Courtney was one of the dolls my sisters used to play with, so I had the AI reimagine her as a crazy trucker.

From there, the movie pitch pretty much wrote itself.