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Not your Dad, but I am sorry! I only did what I thought best for you, even stopping your mom from beating you. I'm sorry I tried to teach your brother and you right from wrong the only way I knew how. I'm sorry your mom and I are not together anymore, and that it has caused you guilt. It wasn't your fault. I have always provided for you even though I wasn't there. I love you my daughter and son. You are my life, and love. I only and ever have wanted the best for you. I have made you a strong woman. Trust no one lightly! I am sorry you don't trust men, but I'm not there to protect you. Love always!
A Dad! 😥
never knew the name of that thing, but i Always knew that was a problem coming out from my family backgrounds. not trusting people can be a huge issue, as for me, it has been on work and relationships as well.
But i got to say this, once you learn this motto "give them rope... until they choke" everything goes smoothly. You have to learn to be jaded enough to not place any expectation on the other one. Sad to say, this is a gift from me to you. Learn to accept what you are to improve, but recognize - you're not the bruises, the insults, and the scars they made you. Carve yourself out of that self hatred and learn, try to trust yourself and Others more and be the person your parents didn't wanted you to be, not for Revenge... but because it's right for yourself
a hug
Somehow the things you just said seem to be have an American cultural signature to them. It's like it's the hot trend around here. Why?
I know all over the world there are worthless guys who don't work, are on drugs, and beat their family. But it seems like this specific style of abuse is designed for America. Why?
Why don't we take a closer look at our culture and lifestyle and ourselves, and figure out what is making us, us.
I know that all kinds of abuse are hurtful, but if you remove the beating, drugs, and joblessness, what's left of the situation that you just described is actually very traumatic and toxic on it's own. It just screws with your head and destroys your mind and soul in a very specific way.
Why is it like this? And why do we feel the need to do it this way?
I do feel this is more common in the States but I'm personally from Canada
Sounds like my dad only 5 times harsher. He can't beat because my mom won't let him touch us. Glad to say, my older sister and I are moving out on the 8th. I don't wanna leave my younger siblings though. :( My little brother can't go a whole day without complaining about how people always want him to do stuff, but in reality he does nothing around the house. I have to admit we do use him a little as a maid. But he's always getting yelled at because he groans when people ask him to do something earning him a full lecture on how "niggas are too lazy to do anything for themselves and that's why you have to depend on other people to take your ass everywhere." But that's like totally logical considering HIS FUCKING TEN. You really expect you 10 year old son to drive himself everywhere. Fucking hypocrite, you LIVE IN YOUR EX-WIFE'S HOUSE! And his lazy?
I can totally relate to this. I lived the nightmare, I still live the nightmare even though he was pronounced dead, he still lives, he still haunts me, he still abuses me. For making me what I am today just what you said I'd be, a worthless Whore nobody will ever love!
Thanks dad
Wow... I honestly don't know what to say 😩
But I do have a question have you expressed all of this to him and if not he needs to see this. Sharing this with others is good and all but nothing will happen without letting him know.
You're truly a strong person and I wish I could be half the person that you are.
In my case my mom used to beat me and my dad abused emotionaly they both screwed up the most important years in my life and suppressed my personality. I still have troubles making realtionships especially i end up with bad people who envy me daily on what i worked for. Hinstly now i can't trust anyone. And im sorry i went through all that but i guess that would only make u compassionate and kind person because now u know how does it feel to be on the bad side. I think this step is the beginning for gettinh over it
Too bad - I can relate to all this from many other sources than my Dad who loved me most of all...
Life sucks
and can be distracting from
the celebration of survival
the lessons of what not to become
the focus on God's love, Jesus's teachings and the happiness of today
Sorry you had to go through this.. but you should just move on from this... shit happens.. you can move on as a stronger person.. or waste time piling up hate for someone who isn't worth your time... this is life.. you've had the bad part of it.. but you're stronger so now you can tackle bigger difficulties and leave your mark.. (telling all this by experience)
I never even knew my dad. Hate will eat you up inside, trust me. You got to let that crap go. Go to church is my suggestion to you, the Lord will help you forgive him. You need to or you will always carry this around with you like a horrible cancer. God bless you and good luck.
Applies to mothers as well. Sorry to quote Jeebus, but "... all sins will be forgiven...", sans blasephemy. If you can survive that, life going to have a tough time tearing you down. But no one ever said justice shouldn't be served. And it is arguably unforgiveable for a parent who commits such acts KNOWING they shouldn't be doing them. And absolutely natural, prudent even, to have mistrust, ESPECIALLY of the offending parent (s). Abusing your kids is like abusing yourself, abusing your spouse is like abusing your kids, think people.
my father was an asshole. all he cared about was me getting good grades. I had a job which he of course forced me to take, then when school rolled around, he forced me to quit it. I told him it dont work that way. Then when I had a job he harassed me at work to give him money. Im like why you bothering me at work. You dont say 2 words to me when Im home but you got brass balls to bother me any other time. And when your laying deathly sick in your bed you expect me to come visit you when all you complain was about your grades? piss off and rot in the hell your in
My biggeat fear is marrying a piece of shit and not having the wherewithal to leave. Especially if I have children.
That is why ladies have to be careful who they get involved with. Too many carelessly choose their partners.
@Tycwep yeah and there is a huge percentage of women that just flat out get tricked. Those are the ones I feel the worst for.
Yes, the most heartbreaking words are "He used to be a great guy I don't know what happened to him" or "I thought I knew him".
@Tycwep yep and they can't believe that a person who presented themselves as perfect can be so mean so they assume it's a phase or their partner is just going through something.
I'm so proud of you saying this out loud and sharing your story and your real name. You are beyond brave, strong beautiful and definitely NOT worthless. Thank you so much for sharing this aka I'm glad you found your self worth and don't dorgive him for any of that but also don't let the hate weigh you down. However I have a feeling you're much smarter than that. I hoped the best comes to you because you deserve it and again you're so brave and thank you.
Thank you so much, that means the world to me. <3
"Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else. You're the one who gets burned"
-The Buddha
My dad did most of those things too, he was a drunk abusive asshole and I childishly said I would never forgive him. Then he died rather suddenly from a heart attack and I realised how stupid it was to hold anger towards my only dad. I promise one day you'll regret this myTake.
Shame on you John, that's not the answer I cam here to cheer for!
@BlueGender you didn't come to cheer for maturity and forgiveness? Well go back to grade school.
Oh I'm so sorry. Next time post 9 things that you would have loved your father for.
I'm wondering if he abused your mom when they knew to each other. She was blind because your father was a fake person when she knew him. That's the saddest thing of all of it.
**hugz** from one person that had their childhood ripped away from them to another.
Identifying the cycles is a huge accomplishment. Breaking the cycles knowing they die with the ones that never had the strength or courage to fight is a release that words can not describe, finally being able to let that inner child come out from hiding and truly heal.
Congratulations girl. Keep going strong.
Thank you so much, *hugs back*, bless <3
Wow girl you are one tough cookie thank you for sharing... I can relate to being told I was stupid worthless. never going to amount to anything. Was called several names etc was abused physically. I could write a take similar to my grandma
Everything u said happened to me and my three older brothers. I finally got over it and he stopped after my boyfriend beat his ass after he saw him hit me and my brother got custody over us. The one and ONLY reason I forgave him is bc I think that's what god wants. I don't want things on earth to carry on into my after life. You have to forgive to be forgiven.
How about the 18 things i will never forgive you for Mother.
You see women tend to do some of the most vile things to a child because of.
DIVORCE.
MONEY.
FRIENDS ( inclusive of girl and boy ).
SELF-IMAGE.
REVENGE on the father for not putting up with her attitude.
What the hell does my personal experience have to do with bad mothers and why are misogynistic men so entranced by the idea of bringing women down?
THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU, GET OVER YOURSELF
I'm sorry ! ... Wait why the fuck i'm i apologizing for to a gender that hates itself and wants the other gender to basically curl up and die off GO FUCK YOURSELF !!! YOUR NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT HAVE PROBLEMS.
*You're
Also, this has nothing to do with other peoples problems and I acknowledge that, and it has nothing to do with saying men are evil, it's about ME, MY DAD, and MY EXPERIENCES, it has nothing to do with your need to prove women hate you.
GET OVER YOURSELF
By the way, why is a creepy 42 year old berating a 17 year old anyway? Isn't there a strip club you should be crying and spending your minimum wage paycheque at?