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Why I Regret Not Being Mean Towards My Parents With <3

I know this sounds like satire but I'm serious. I regret not being more mean towards them especially when I was a kid. I could've have gotten away with way more. Now, I'm over 18 and I can't do anything to them without consequences or having excuses to act as immaturely as I could have before. An old adage that adults like to say to kids is, "This hurts me more than this hurts you" Or they do things because they <3 you. I used to hate those sayings.

Why I Regret Not Being Mean Towards My Parents With <3

Now that I'm older I no longer feel that way. I see my parents as people, which means that in a lot of ways...instead of anger I just feel hopelessness. Hating someone is way way better, because when you hate someone...you feel like they should change. You have hope for them! They mean enough to you for you to get angry. I realize now that I have been angry at them, because I wanted them to change and be closer to me. Because I really loved them and didn't care about their personal dramas enough to not care anymore.

I tried before to just disconnect and just see them as regular people, but the truth is...I still do really care about them no matter what they do. So it hit me one day: What if I copied my parents? Do what you want and say what you want. And always love the person anyway! I would rationalize any mean things they said to me before because I wanted them so much.

Now, I can put myself on the same level as them and I like this idea. I learned form them that just because you love someone that doesn't mean you can give them leeway and let them insult you or disrespect you. So that's the usual parent/child dynamic right?

That's what I do now myself with them. I care a lot, but I don't let the caring make my decisions towards them anymore. So now I tell them, even if I'm mean you know I still care about you right? I always loved you...I copy everything they ever said to me and mirror it back to them in our conversations. I <3 doing this so much and they HATE it but can't say anything.

Why I Regret Not Being Mean Towards My Parents With <3
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