3 Reasons Why Guys and Girls Can Be Friends...But Only For a Time

EchoOfLife
3 Reasons Why Guys and Girls Can Be Friends...But Only For a Time

So let me start off by saying this doesn't apply in all situations. Some people may have different backgrounds or stories that void what I have said, but this is what I believe to be a general idea of opposite genders being friends.

To start it off, I fully believe guys and girls can become friends. However, I feel that it is usually for the wrong reasons and/or doesn't usually last. I have been friends with a decent amount of girls in my life. I can say that we have been very close, and all of the reasons below, I can say are reasons I became friends with them. I have yet to have a friendship with a girl last more than 2 and a half years, but there are again lots of variables in that. I'm going to break down the three ways guys and girls usually become friends (at least IMO), and then break down how the relationship starts and ends between each. The the ways they become friends are this A: You like or have a crush on that person B: They like or have a crush on you C: Mutual benefits/hobbies (normal friends, limited attraction).

Reason 1: You Like Them

You like this person...A LOT. You dream about them, fantasize, make puppets...wait, no, not puppets, that's just weird. No but really, you have a strong attraction to them. Now the next thing is where it gets shaky; this person may already be in a relationship, they may just not like you, or maybe you just didn't have the courage to show your true feelings for them. Whatever the reason, you became friends because you thought it would be better than nothing, but you also thought by doing so, that it might change their mind on you, or they might leave their SO for you seeing how great of a friend you are, why not more.

It starts off ever so innocent, you text them, snapchat, maybe get lunch or coffee every so often, but as much as you say "no, we're just friends" deep down you still like them that way. Time may fly, and you may get closer and closer with them, but deep down, you still remember why you befriended them. Now, two things begin to happen, you finally start to realize that hey, this person isn't going to go for me, and that I should move on. The second, you find someone else who is like them, but wants more, wants a relationship. Very quickly, the person you wanted to go to lunch with, the person you dreamed about, is replaced. That's because you either got hurt by them, admitting your feelings and not getting anything back or you found someone else, and that small urge in your stomach taking them out and texting them to "try and change their mind" is no longer there. Maybe you feel as just distancing is the best solution.

3 Reasons Why Guys and Girls Can Be Friends...But Only For a Time

Whatever the case may be, you slowly but surely pull away...because the reasons you became friend wasn't to know the person, it was false, it was to love the person. Now thats not wrong, you shared good times, but those times were encouraged by trying to be more. However, it won't last because of that. Days will go by, weeks, and soon the dreamed about person, the friend disappears, because it was a false friendship to start. They hurt you because you thought you had a chance, and you hurt them because you led them to believe you were a genuine friend.

Reason 2: They Like You

So there's this person in your class, you see them smile at you, maybe a wink, maybe start twirling their hair or they sit by you. Whatever the case is they may really like you, or maybe not, who knows. They approach you, and you *Chose a option* (In a relationship)(Don't like them)(Don't know them well)(Am not looking to date)(Not your type but still want to be friends). Whatever the case, you two share your contact, with YOU knowing you want nothing more, and them semi knowing that. Now they are having the same situation as the first reason, they are in those footsteps, but what about your side?

They text you to hangout, or maybe get some lunch, you oblige. They offer to pay the bill, or doing something flirty but you decline, to prove further how you see them. You share your secrets with them, maybe if your a guy, you can be more sensitive and have a more soothing ear on the other end. Maybe your a girl, and the guy can provide more straight forward advice. You trust them, you see them as a friend, and whenever you post an Instagram picture its always "Me and my best buddy" or "Me and my pal'. Now this is great and all, maybe you finally thought they only see you as a friend, or things finally worked out, but no...ever so sadly no.

Things plan out like this, eventually they get fed up, they stop talking to you because they need to move on. Maybe they got in a relationship and no longer need you, maybe you got in a relationship and no longer need them. Maybe they admitted their feelings to you, and it was awkward so you parted ways. Whatever it is, things would never be the same... eventually the same thing as reason 1 happens, you part your ways. The problem though is, you unintentionally hurt them, but they defiantly tricked and hurt you, why? Because it was them who raise the false friendship, under the idea that you were just friends, but they wanted more.. not you. And Scene!

3 Reasons Why Guys and Girls Can Be Friends...But Only For a Time

Reason 3: Genuine friendship...to its limit

This is going to be the most debated about reason because it is the most debatable. A LOT of the reasons in here can be applied to the other reasons, but just with a different twist.

You became friends because maybe you had HBO Go and they had Hulu so let's share account info. Maybe the two of you like the same music, or have the same car, so you were relatable. Whatever the case is, you get along, you are friends and things are good. You both know where you stand, you both want nothing more, you're just glad to have each other. However...the difference between being opposite sex friends differ. For example, you can't be alone together without it looking like a date, you can't touch each other without it being sort of awkward (depends on the person), you have different tastes in different things, shopping or gaming for example. Whatever it is the two sexes are different in the very end.

Your friends are always saying you two would be a cute couple, the list goes on. Eventually something will happen, maybe your friend gets an SO. When that happens maybe the SO doesn't like the competition, maybe you get jealous of the SO. Maybe you got drunk...and did things...maybe you got into an argument, or maybe one of you had repressed feelings that have been growing the whole time. Now you may be asking at this point, but this could happen to any friendship right? I mean, when my friend got a GF/BF they stopped talking to me.

Now although that is true, its more likely in opposite gender friendships because as said, the SO may feel threatened, or they have a new opposite gender friend in their life, than also brings love to the table and they don't need you. Maybe this guy/gal has HBO Go, Hulu AND AMAZON PRIME, then, well then your just fucked bud. Seriously though, the friendship ends, not because you hate each other, not always on bad terms, but because somewhere down the line, you'll be replaced, or pushed away.

You know why the friendship can also end? Because you become more than friends, the two of you realize that you are so compatible, so perfect for each other that you go into a relationship (that's like the evolved version of a friendship). Bet you didn't see this one coming now did ya? +1 for me

3 Reasons Why Guys and Girls Can Be Friends...But Only For a Time

The Exception

The exception is the most important part of this My Take, why? Because it proves me wrong, which in a sense is what I want. The exception applies to that small amount of people that make it work, that's SO likes you, and maybe has guy/girl night. Maybe you were friends as kids, maybe they eventually got over you or you over them, and realized you wanted to be friends, or maybe, you became more.

When I started this off, I said "Why I think Guys and Girls can be friends...but only for a time..." I never said that it couldn't escalate. There is always a natural attraction, and sometimes being friends can make that attraction be more. Reason 1, maybe the exception is they do like you, and you live happily ever after, or maybe you get over them and stay friends. Reason 2, maybe the exception is you do fall for them, or maybe they get over you and stay friends. Reason 3, maybe the exception is you have known each other forever, and always stay friends, or maybe you two fell in love.

Like I said, I said opposite gender friendship can happen, but it won't always last, thats because people either move on, or the friendship escalates.

Hope you enjoyed :)

3 Reasons Why Guys and Girls Can Be Friends...But Only For a Time
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