Having friends is a good thing. Having true ones are a blessing. But sometimes we are so blinded by these so called friends that some of them don’t have your best interest at heart. Here are some signs to decode if your friend is a friend or an enemy or both.
1. They don’t celebrate your success
Instead of celebrating it, they downplay your success by questioning how and why you got the job or title. Oh you got promoted? Instead of saying Congratulations! I am so happy for you! You deserve it. Or if you're looking good but they're going to say oh you look fatter. They just like to rain on your parade in stealth mode.
2. They like to listen to all your sob stories
Anything that involves you crying or hurting or you’re in deep trouble, they are all ears and seem to enjoy every moment of it. They will console you by saying oh you deserve so much better honey but deep down they’re saying serves you right.
3. They compete with you
True friends don’t compete with you in a menacing manner. But your frenemy races you to a promotion or who’s first in owning a house or race to the altar or have kids. They like winning as long as you are the one losing. But they cushion your loss by saying don’t worry better luck next time, friend. Meanwhile they’re celebrating your failure secretly.
4. They copy you
Imitation is the highest form of flattery. They love to hate you but they hate to love you. They like what they see but they’re in denial that they unknowingly start mimicking your style, your taste and just everything about you. All of a sudden, they look like a replica of you. And people will notice that.
5. They gossip about you behind your back
If they gossip to you about others, they will gossip about you to others. How do you know this? Someone else will tell you about them talking trash about you behind your back. But deny it when you confront them trash talking you.
6. They lie to you and about you
When you catch them in a lie, they make it sound like you are making up stories to hurt their feelings and your friendship. They guilt trip you making it look like you’re a bad friend for even doubting them.
7. They use your other friends and family against you
They manipulate your friends or families in believing lies about you and make you look bad in your love one’s eyes. Your love ones should know better who to believe in.
8. They are jealous of you
They will have no problem saying; “You’re perfect! I am so jealous of you”. They compliment you but they mean it in a malicious way.
9. They want your life
When people say they wish they were you, believe them. They wish they were in your shoes enjoying the good life they dream of having. They wish they have a wife and kids to go home to or be the go to person of the company.
10. They say they won’t do you like that
When they say they won’t do you like that, they will do you like that. They are silently plotting your downfall hoping you’d lose your girl or your job or your house. There’s a saying “your best friend is your worst enemy.” This holds truth as you put so much trust in this person hoping they got your back no matter what but they end up stabbing you so many times, they left the knife on your back for their later use.
What do you do when your “trusted friend” checks off all that is on the list? Do you confront them? Do you cut them off? Do you trust them with your life? It is so hard to say especially when they are so good in hiding behind that smiling in your face “I am your friend for life” persona. It is hard as well when you catch them so many times doing you so bad but because they have been a big part of your life, you just can't cut them off so easily. You feel torn because you think they’re family but what do you do when they do you wrong? Remember your enemies don’t betray you. Your friends and family do.
Thanks for the time reading, besties.