Making Friends In 10 Easy Steps

Hi guys and girls. I hope your day is going Fantastic. I will be covering some tips to making new friends and building quality connections. Before following these tips you will first need to identify the type of friend you want. Let's get started:

Friend Types

A. Kindred Spirit/Soulmate


This type of friend is more commonly known as a best friend. This is the person you share secrets with, you would take a bullet for, and they literally make you feel whole. This is such a deep meaningful connection that is non romantic.

B. Utility Friend

"Let's Use Each Other"

This is a friendship that allows both parties to profit or benefit from the other. There is no connection besides benefits. This can also be known as a friend with benefits. Friends with benefits do not always have to be sexual in nature. It just means both parties are benefitting from the relationship.

C. Placeholder Friend

"I Guess You'll Do, For Now"

This is the friend you seek when you lose a friend. It's similar to that of a rebound relationship except you are doing it with friends. You have this type of friend for a few reasons. You just lost a friend is number one, you don't want to look like you don't have any friends is two, or you are using them for some benefit in social status. This person can sometimes be considered a frenemy. These placeholder friends are usually rejected friends that you reach back out to when you're lonely or vulnerable.

D. Colleagues/Teammates/Partners

"Heyyyyy, You"

These are the types of friends that you only have within a certain place. So whether that is work, sport, hobby, job, etc this type of friend is someone who shares some common interests. You won't really talk outside of these environments but you have a great friendly connection during meetups.

E. The Good Friendship

"My Good Friend"

This is the average friendship most people will seek. This is a friendship built on common interests and traits. You have mutual respect for one another and have a good connection. This is not as strong as a best friend connection but if nurtured properly it can definitely flourish into something beautiful.

"The Good Friend"

Sidenote: Not every friendship that you seek will be healthy.You also can not change the category of friend to fit your needs. For instance, you will not be able to change a placeholder friend into a bestie or vice versa. So be diligent when deciding who you want to befriend. Another example, If the person is clearly a colleague, don't share personal information or intimate details. Save those for your bestie. Some people are just toxic no matter how good a friend you are. If you need tips on toxic friends please review the references below πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡ I will be doing a follow up MyTake with more depth into toxic friendships!!!!! Please take some time to read and leave feedback. The types of friends listed above are not all considered healthy friendships but instead gives variety to the common company we keep. β™₯οΈπŸ’‹

If you have properly identified what kind of friendship you may want, it's time to start trying to make these friends. Here are 10 Steps to making new friends.

1. Be Authentic And Honest

"Honesty Is The Best Policy"

When making new friends it's important to be your most authentic self. This will allow others to make an honest opinion about you as a person and whether or not they even want to pursue a friendship in return. Being authentic means you are unapologetically you and "what you see is what you get." This means you are not lying, exaggerating, or withholding information in an attempt to "fit in."

2. Be A Good/Active Listener

"Are You Listening Or Just Waiting To Talk?"

Making new friends will be significantly easier if you are a good and active listener. This means that you are listening to understand not to respond. You are not spending the whole conversation talking about yourself and your problems. You are actively engaged in the conversation and are not showing subtle signs of disinterest. If you would like a mytake covering body language please comment below πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡

3. Be Supportive

"Let's Eat Carbs Together"

Being supportive is one of the fastest ways we can build connections. You can be supportive emotionally, physically, psychologically, socially, or financially. A great quote "At the end of the day people won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel."Maya Angelou

4. Be Non-Judgemental/Limit Criticism

"No Judgements Allowed"

If you want to make friends you will have to put all those judgements away. It is not your job to change anyone or to make them feel inadequate. While some criticism and critiques can be beneficial, in excess will prevent healthy connections from forming. So don't give unsolicited advice or comments that no one asked for. While everyone has an opinion, that doesn't mean everyone cares what it is. Sometimes it's better to keep your opinions to yourself unless asked otherwise. So practice that cognitive tool "Radical Acceptance". If you are unfamiliar with this tool please review the references below πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡

5. Be Open

"Let's Try Something New"

Making friends means that you need to open up. Not saying you need to spill your darkest secrets on day one but rather be open about your wants and needs. Be open about your questions and concerns while forming a new connection. Many friendships fail because one party will not be very open as the other. If you cannot easily trust or build trust you are not ready to make new friends. Or those people who you're attempting to be friends with are not the right friends for you and your needs. Being open sets the stage for what you want from this specific connection. This is why I covered the different types of friends aboveπŸ‘†πŸ‘†πŸ‘† You must be open about what you want out of a friendship before attempting to form one.

6. Be Loyal

"I Got You, You Got Me"

This means no gossiping and standing up for this person when no one is around. Loyalty is the easiest way to form bonds and strong connections. Loyalty generates trust. Trust is not easily created but very easily destroyed. This is a highly coveted trait for anyone wanting to build friendly connections. So be someone loyal and trustworthy.

7. Be Dependable And Consistent

"I Will Be There On Time To Ride On The Beach"

If you want to make new friends you have to be dependable. No one wants a flakey, never available, poor excuses type of friend. If you make plans always make an effort to follow through or cancel ahead of time with good reason. Return phone calls and text messages. Don't ghost and treat your friend like a raincoat. Be a friend that people can depend on. If you are too busy to nurture the connection then you are not ready to make friends or be a friend to someone else. Consistency is key to lasting connections. Be a good friend all the time, not just when it's convenient.

8. Be Compassionate And Understanding

"It's Okay, I Totally Get It"

While attempting to make connections you will need to demonstrate a sense of compassion and an understanding for their situations and experiences. EVERYone you meet will be different, so it's imperative that you try to understand or empathize with others. So if you are trying to make friends with someone who has disabilities, toxic traits (not a toxic person), or just everyday struggles, you will need to show the ability to be compassionate and understanding.

9. Be Humble

"Humble On The Outside, Confident On The Inside"

If you want to make friends you want to try to be very humble. Do not brag. It's okay to share accolades but avoid one upping or being condescending. Even if you have a million dollars don't put it all on display. Be humble and wholesome. I am not saying to downplay your successes but rather to refrain from rubbing it into other people's faces. "Success is quiet.. insecurities are loud"

10. Do Not Befriend Someone if you have feelings of resentment, anger, hatred, jealousy, or envy towards them. You will naturally demonstrate undesirable behaviors and could potentially hurt the person you are attempting to befriend. You have to be in a good place cognitively, psychologically, emotionally, and physically before building outside relationships.

"Now Go Make Some Friends"

Author's Notes: Making new friendships takes a certain level of self esteem and confidence. It is not just follow these steps and boom you have friends, but rather it's about improving your chances of building long lasting and meaningful connections with others. I have compiled these steps after doing an anonymous survey. Thanks to everyone who participated. Your feedback is always appreciated. Before attempting to make new relationships with others, make sure the relationship with "self" is healthy and positive. If you don't have a good relationship with yourself or you find it difficult to love yourself then please review the MyTakes listed below πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡

"It's Not Easy But For The Right Friend It's Completely Worth It"

This is a NEGATIVE FREE ZONE!!!! So be kind to one another and spread joy. If you have personal questions or off topic questions please direct message them. I will not be answering them on public posts. Please read content in it's entirety before leaving a comment. Nonsense or irrelevant content will be removed. Thanks for understanding and respecting my privacy!!!!! Disclaimer: I do not own any parts of, or profit from any of the Illustrations used on my posts. Any awards from GAG have not been claimed after being accepted.These artists deserve recognition so make sure you like/follow their pages and show your support. Hopefully you will find my content fun and helpful. That's allβ™₯οΈπŸ’‹

"Friends For Life"

Yours Truly: Secret6620

Here's Something Sweet For Stopping By

"Candy Apple πŸŽπŸ’‹"


8 Types Of Toxic People

How To Stop Being A Toxic Person In 10 ways

20 Ways To Start Loving Yourself

The Cure For Drama

Have A Wonderful COLORFUL Day!!!!

Making Friends In 10 Easy Steps
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What Girls & Guys Said

  • mommatoldl

    Love your post and helpful tips.

    As a kid I believe I have always struggled with social anxiety. It's gotten a lot better since I've been in my 20s but I still struggle so so much with making female friends:( I literally can get any guy wrapped around my finger but can't seem to keep a friend that's a girl.
    My whole life I had one best friend. She's literally my soul mate but she is in a very controlling relationship and I rarely hear from her.
    I also related to you mentioning a placeholder friend. In high school I literally had a friend that never ever spoke to me until her two friends moved away. I even got her a job at a pizza place our senior year and she befriended another employee that was clearly jealous of our friendship and it ruined everything.
    We have kids now and the only time we see Each other is when she invites me to her daughters bday parties but still never says anything to me even when im there! And never comes to my sons bday parties. It truly hurts my feelings.
    I really believe I am the easiest person to talk to. I'm better at listening. I also have a great sense of humor. I do get awkward at times because of my anxiety. I'm a lot of fun to be around when I'm comfortable. I literally wish I had the ability that some have to just walk in a room and befriend anyone. It truly is a blessing.

    • Thanks so much for reading and the useful feedback!!! The only real feedback so far smh 🀦

  • YHL6965

    I think your forgot one crucial detail : you have to go to basically strangers to make friends. i am good in most characteristics you listed, but I am too shy to go towards strangers naturally like that and make friends, and that's probably my #1 obstacle. Otherwise, good take, it sums up what hast to be done to maintain a friendship in a healthy way.

    • Please read the content thoroughly. Making friends is only for people who are cognitively, psychologically, and physically able to. You didn't read the mytake in it's entirety because it has already been touched on in my authors note. Please read before responding. Thanks for the feedback β™₯️πŸ₯°

    • YHL6965

      Yes, I read that. Just I think some advice on the topic could have been nice for shy people. I understand that it's very complicated to maintain a healthy relationship of any kind if you don't love yourself or if you don't have a lost of self-confidence, but maybe this would deserve a take on its own because it might be a whole new topic. Again, good take!

    • If you would like a follow up MyTake I would love to author one. Being shy or having introverted personalities can make building friendships very difficult. But that's cognitive work and a different topic. I will write something up for those who struggle to make friends and what cognitive work that needs to be done. β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️

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  • I wish I knew most of this stuff back in high school

    • Same!!! I didn't learn this stuff until I started taking classes. 😭😭😭

  • osili

    I believe that being the best person you can and treat all as you would like to be treated that you are building a positive energy and bond that brings others who might be of all walks of life and beliefs but through paths of kindness bond you stronger then a friend of any kind can match one love

    • This is a mytake. Not a question lol. But thanks for replying β™₯️πŸ₯°

    • osili

      And I was expressing my take sorry if you thought I offended you

    • Not at all. β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️

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  • lollyacctwo

    Friends come to you, that's how it goes if it's meant to be it's meant to be.

  • Youngan

    A good friend knows all your desires. A best friend helps you with all of them.

  • monkeynutts

    Good friends can be hard to find.

    • I said the same thing. Thanks for agreeing!!! β™₯️πŸ₯°