Hi guys and girls. I hope your day is going Fantastic. I will be covering some tips to making new friends and building quality connections. Before following these tips you will first need to identify the type of friend you want. Let's get started:
A. Kindred Spirit/Soulmate
This type of friend is more commonly known as a best friend. This is the person you share secrets with, you would take a bullet for, and they literally make you feel whole. This is such a deep meaningful connection that is non romantic.
B. Utility Friend
This is a friendship that allows both parties to profit or benefit from the other. There is no connection besides benefits. This can also be known as a friend with benefits. Friends with benefits do not always have to be sexual in nature. It just means both parties are benefitting from the relationship.
C. Placeholder Friend
This is the friend you seek when you lose a friend. It's similar to that of a rebound relationship except you are doing it with friends. You have this type of friend for a few reasons. You just lost a friend is number one, you don't want to look like you don't have any friends is two, or you are using them for some benefit in social status. This person can sometimes be considered a frenemy. These placeholder friends are usually rejected friends that you reach back out to when you're lonely or vulnerable.
These are the types of friends that you only have within a certain place. So whether that is work, sport, hobby, job, etc this type of friend is someone who shares some common interests. You won't really talk outside of these environments but you have a great friendly connection during meetups.
E. The Good Friendship
This is the average friendship most people will seek. This is a friendship built on common interests and traits. You have mutual respect for one another and have a good connection. This is not as strong as a best friend connection but if nurtured properly it can definitely flourish into something beautiful.
Sidenote: Not every friendship that you seek will be healthy.You also can not change the category of friend to fit your needs. For instance, you will not be able to change a placeholder friend into a bestie or vice versa. So be diligent when deciding who you want to befriend. Another example, If the person is clearly a colleague, don't share personal information or intimate details. Save those for your bestie. Some people are just toxic no matter how good a friend you are. If you need tips on toxic friends please review the references below 👇👇👇 I will be doing a follow up MyTake with more depth into toxic friendships!!!!! Please take some time to read and leave feedback. The types of friends listed above are not all considered healthy friendships but instead gives variety to the common company we keep. ♥️💋
If you have properly identified what kind of friendship you may want, it's time to start trying to make these friends. Here are 10 Steps to making new friends.
1. Be Authentic And Honest
When making new friends it's important to be your most authentic self. This will allow others to make an honest opinion about you as a person and whether or not they even want to pursue a friendship in return. Being authentic means you are unapologetically you and "what you see is what you get." This means you are not lying, exaggerating, or withholding information in an attempt to "fit in."
2. Be A Good/Active Listener
Making new friends will be significantly easier if you are a good and active listener. This means that you are listening to understand not to respond. You are not spending the whole conversation talking about yourself and your problems. You are actively engaged in the conversation and are not showing subtle signs of disinterest. If you would like a mytake covering body language please comment below 👇👇👇
3. Be Supportive
Being supportive is one of the fastest ways we can build connections. You can be supportive emotionally, physically, psychologically, socially, or financially. A great quote "At the end of the day people won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel."Maya Angelou
4. Be Non-Judgemental/Limit Criticism
If you want to make friends you will have to put all those judgements away. It is not your job to change anyone or to make them feel inadequate. While some criticism and critiques can be beneficial, in excess will prevent healthy connections from forming. So don't give unsolicited advice or comments that no one asked for. While everyone has an opinion, that doesn't mean everyone cares what it is. Sometimes it's better to keep your opinions to yourself unless asked otherwise. So practice that cognitive tool "Radical Acceptance". If you are unfamiliar with this tool please review the references below 👇👇👇
5. Be Open
Making friends means that you need to open up. Not saying you need to spill your darkest secrets on day one but rather be open about your wants and needs. Be open about your questions and concerns while forming a new connection. Many friendships fail because one party will not be very open as the other. If you cannot easily trust or build trust you are not ready to make new friends. Or those people who you're attempting to be friends with are not the right friends for you and your needs. Being open sets the stage for what you want from this specific connection. This is why I covered the different types of friends above👆👆👆 You must be open about what you want out of a friendship before attempting to form one.
6. Be Loyal
This means no gossiping and standing up for this person when no one is around. Loyalty is the easiest way to form bonds and strong connections. Loyalty generates trust. Trust is not easily created but very easily destroyed. This is a highly coveted trait for anyone wanting to build friendly connections. So be someone loyal and trustworthy.
7. Be Dependable And Consistent
If you want to make new friends you have to be dependable. No one wants a flakey, never available, poor excuses type of friend. If you make plans always make an effort to follow through or cancel ahead of time with good reason. Return phone calls and text messages. Don't ghost and treat your friend like a raincoat. Be a friend that people can depend on. If you are too busy to nurture the connection then you are not ready to make friends or be a friend to someone else. Consistency is key to lasting connections. Be a good friend all the time, not just when it's convenient.
8. Be Compassionate And Understanding
While attempting to make connections you will need to demonstrate a sense of compassion and an understanding for their situations and experiences. EVERYone you meet will be different, so it's imperative that you try to understand or empathize with others. So if you are trying to make friends with someone who has disabilities, toxic traits (not a toxic person), or just everyday struggles, you will need to show the ability to be compassionate and understanding.
9. Be Humble
If you want to make friends you want to try to be very humble. Do not brag. It's okay to share accolades but avoid one upping or being condescending. Even if you have a million dollars don't put it all on display. Be humble and wholesome. I am not saying to downplay your successes but rather to refrain from rubbing it into other people's faces. "Success is quiet.. insecurities are loud"
10. Do Not Befriend Someone if you have feelings of resentment, anger, hatred, jealousy, or envy towards them. You will naturally demonstrate undesirable behaviors and could potentially hurt the person you are attempting to befriend. You have to be in a good place cognitively, psychologically, emotionally, and physically before building outside relationships.
Author's Notes: Making new friendships takes a certain level of self esteem and confidence. It is not just follow these steps and boom you have friends, but rather it's about improving your chances of building long lasting and meaningful connections with others. I have compiled these steps after doing an anonymous survey. Thanks to everyone who participated. Your feedback is always appreciated. Before attempting to make new relationships with others, make sure the relationship with "self" is healthy and positive. If you don't have a good relationship with yourself or you find it difficult to love yourself then please review the MyTakes listed below 👇👇👇
This is a NEGATIVE FREE ZONE!!!! So be kind to one another and spread joy. If you have personal questions or off topic questions please direct message them. I will not be answering them on public posts. Please read content in it's entirety before leaving a comment. Nonsense or irrelevant content will be removed. Thanks for understanding and respecting my privacy!!!!! Disclaimer: I do not own any parts of, or profit from any of the Illustrations used on my posts. Any awards from GAG have not been claimed after being accepted.These artists deserve recognition so make sure you like/follow their pages and show your support. Hopefully you will find my content fun and helpful. That's all♥️💋
Yours Truly: Secret6620
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