Family & Friends

This is a f*ck you to one of the worst fake friends I ever remember having.

So this is just a story I was thinking of from the past.

At one point in my career, I almost became a cop, back in 2012. In order to become one, in addition to doing the police academy training and all that, you had to get state certified where I'm from in order to legally carry a firearm for a job. This is called the ACT 235 certification. It is a massive pain in the ass and you go to pass several steps in order to be cleared for it. In addition to a physical, 40 to 80 hours of gun training, and a written exam, it also requires passing a psych evaluation. One very few people actually choose to administer. This certain kind of test is called the MMPI and it is used in other career fields, as well. It is a REALLY old, very outdated test, though. Like from the 1950s. Why it hasn't really been updated is beyond me, especially considering how mental health was looked at in 1951. But whatever, it is just 600+ true/false questions that supposedly test for consistency, but it's very easy to pass, or even trick, because it's not hard to find the common question types. Just lie consistently and you can easily pass. It's a stupid test that requires $300-400 and only a handful people choose to let you take the test.

Anyway, I needed to some way to get about 40 miles out of the city in order to take this damn test. I grew up dirt poor and almost no one I knew owned a car in order to get to this location way out in the boonies somewhere. Even my girlfriend at the time, who was nicely upper middle class, didn't actually own a car; she took the regional train to work every day. One of the only people I knew who owned a car was the person I'm referring to, here. Janelle. Janelle was a 6'2" obese black lesbian and ugly as sin. She referred to herself as "bisexual," but come on... That doesn't exist. Her ideal of attractive people were typical petite skinny women, and super-feminine, girly Koreans (like BTS, prior to BTS being a thing). This is all she talked about. Inappropriate sexual conversations. She would also talk about driving around for hours on end just to look at people (and it was implied, she would stalk them). This would be several hours a week.

The reason I bring all this up is because I asked Janelle to drive me to the test location. She didn't really feel like doing it because she would rather sleep. I should also mention, she was unemployed and possibly going to Community College, or at least talked about it. So she had nothing to really do this day. I only asked her once, but she gave me sh*t about it. I was going to drop it, but she then said she'd do it if I paid her for it. I asked why, and she said "it was for gas fare." This f*cking bitch would waste hours every night driving around doing nothing, and then had the gall to ask my broke ass to "pay her for gas fare" for a career choice, when she knew I was broke and barely skimping at my current job, which was garbage and paid minimum wage when I first started. In other words, I could barely afford this, but she would waste about $50 a week on bullsh*t. I finally agreed to it, as this was a choice for my career. I would pay this fat bitch "gas fare" to drive me up to take my MMPI test, which also hundreds of dollars in itself.

So, on one hot August Saturday, I took the MMPI. The test itself was easy enough. Just answer consistently, even if you have to lie. I think you get three hours to do the whole test, but I was done by 11:30; half an hour early. I texted Janelle outside of the building and told her I was done. I said we'd finish by noon or so, but just wanted to let her know. I got no response. I would've went back inside, but the door was locked and the psychologist was busy dealing with others taking the test. So I was outside, in what had to be 105 F heat. I tried calling Janelle. No response. I waited another five minutes. Then ten. And so on... I was dead-ass broke at this point, not even enough money to buy a burger, and 40 miles from home in a location that public transportation didn't go to. I legit thought I had been abandoned out here.

Finally, a f*cking hour and five minutes later, I get a half-call from Janelle. It rang once, then stopped, so it showed up as a missed call on my end. Before I could even call back, this fat bitch pulls up. I was near dehydrated and thirsty, so it was like being rescued from the middle of the desert for me. I was furious and pissed on the inside, but too exhausted, and drenched in my own sweat, that had dripped down to the bottom of my shirt, to care. I slowly got in the car. Giving me the sh*ttiest f*cking half-assed excuse, she said she fell asleep. But it wasn't said in an apologetic way. Just in a "in case you ask me what happened" way. Like it was no big f*cking deal. If I didn't fear being kicked out of the car and stranded again, I would've legit cursed her the f*ck out. Instead, I just didn't say anything. It was clear she was the one who f*cked up.

But here's the kicker. This fat piece of sh*t was the one to get mad AT ME. Had an attitude with me. Like, really? You "fell asleep?" And you couldn't even call back or text once you woke up? And you didn't exactly rush back up here once you did finally wake your 400 pound fat-ass up? And I was legit worried of being stranded out in the boonies with no real way to get home other than hitchhiking, in middle of August heat. And YOU have the f*cking nerve to get mad at me? I don't even remember why she was mad. All I remember was something like (and I'm paraphrasing here), "Yeah, I messed up, but you don't have tact!" I mean, the f*cking nerve. Remember, I had to pay Jabba the Hut cunt cab fare to get out here when she rides around stalking women all week long, and wants to use the excuse, "Well, but that's for me, though." I actually did the math in my head and figured it would cost $32 one-way to take a cab up there. So a round trip cab ride would've been $64, merely $14 more than what I paid this bitch. I could've prepared a little more and done that, had I known I would be stood up like this.

This happened in 2012, and I'm still pissed off about it. I didn't talk to this piece of sh*t again after that, but she texted me, like a few days later, saying she was "breaking up" with me, as a friend, because I was "too immature" for her. I knew it was pure projection and would be a waste of time to say anything back. The rest of the story is, I was supposed to do something else after taking the test; mail some paperwork in by going to the post office before 5pm (the time they closed on a Saturday). I never did, though. Had I did, I probably would've started police academy a few weeks later. I was so mad that day, I blew off some steam at the gym and took a nap, bypassing the post office trip. I could've gone on Monday, but that's when Janelle texted me.

So I didn't become a police officer, and that incident might've been the sole reason why. To not make this story a waste of time to you, I'll leave off with this: Never put up with sh*t from fake friends. From people who'll waste their time and money on bullsh*t, but leave you hanging when it counts. Or be an hour late picking you up with no notice, and then whine and bitch at you for their foul. Don't ever put with fake friends. Those people are NOT your friends and you don't need them in your life. It is better to always choose quality over quantity. Seems simple, but not enough people boot the toxic ones out of their life. Maybe they ought to start.

This is a f*ck you to one of the worst fake friends I ever remember having.
This is a f*ck you to one of the worst fake friends I ever remember having.
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