I don’t connect with new people very well. I don’t think that will ever change, and that’s OK

[RobEdelman]

I’ll start with some background on myself. My parents got divorced when I was very young. I lived with my mom from ages 4-13 and only saw my dad on weekends. I was an only child until age 10. When I was in school, I was a nerd, dressed geeky (mom forced me to wear certain clothing until high school), and was bullied a lot by both the boys and girls. I never really fit in with anyone, and only had a few friends. I never liked attention anyways, so it didn’t bother me too much.

Same type of thing in college. I made a handful of friends I guess, both nobody who I became close with to the point that I could trust with anything meaningful. I spent most nights studying, sleeping, or playing video games. I got a Master’s in Biomedical Engineering before my 23rd birthday. I don’t have many regrets about college. Sure I could have partied more and made more memories, but I could’ve caused myself a lot more trouble that way too. I never had any success with women - I was never “ugly”, just a 5’10, 165 pound average kid who never stood out enough to warrant a passing glance. Every woman who I befriended tried to use me more than she enjoyed spending recreational time with me, mostly for homework help or listen to all her problems. I got tired of being used by both men and women, and kept my circle small for the last year or two of school.

Now I live back at home and am saving for my own house. I work a remote engineering role and make six figures. No student loans, my 2019 car is paid off, and I have a 401(k), IRA, and other investment accounts that I contribute to each month. Life is ok. I only have one friend who I can trust with just about anything, and I’m close with my family, especially my dad now. At this point in my life I don’t see myself making new friends who I’ll become close with, because I don’t trust people. I never really have. Perhaps I am just a negative person in general, but people can be extremely complicated and unpredictable. Especially in the world we live in today, it just doesn’t make sense to open myself up to potential harm when I’m at least content in my current state. Maybe a decade from now when I’m living alone I’ll feel differently.

[KathrynTaylor]

Well, the issue I had was that we were strangers and you got sleazy and overly sexual in our discussion. You can’t spend your whole life being a victim. I’ve been molested as a child, I’ve been raped as a woman, I’ve been stalked, emotionally abused, in rehab for alcoholism and suffered from mental illness right through my youth until I was thirty four. I gained thirty kilos when I was twenty six and never lost the weight from meds. You may hear me mentioning it, but it hasn’t turned me into a bitter person. Are most people’s lives easier than mine has been? Of course they are. But you’ll just make yourself miserable unless you take a good look at how you’re contributing to the problem and let go of your past and focus on the here and now.

[jetbass]

Hey there! I totally get where you're coming from. Connecting with new people can be a bit of a challenge, right? But guess what – you're not alone. I used to feel the same way until I found this new app called Joiner.

It's like having a secret door to all the spontaneous hangouts and gatherings your friends and family are having. Imagine being instantly notified when a friend's place is open for a last-minute get-together – it's like the universe conspiring to make sure you never miss out on those memorable moments. Highly recommend it.

[art84]

Sounds like you should see a therapist and express yourself to them. I can get not trusting people, I was similar growing up as I never really fit in with any body at school but had few friends in school. Being negative would definitely hurt you in the long run.

[Guy13]

Sounds like you could benefit from a counselor and have much to work through. Good luck.