I'm 19, and feel so inexperienced with everything; everyone always called me awkward or cute?

[Anonymous]

In highschool i was basically the virgin mary of all mary's. I never dated anyone or had a boyfriend, i didn't drink, i was quiet and i was the quiet, good student that followed the rules. My parents are strict, so i didn't get to do much or experience much and i feel like that is why i'm awkward as i tend to over think things and everything seems to be a big deal to me.

There are girls younger than me who are giving me advice on how to drink, or how to talk to guys or if i have a guy issue. I don't know how i can grow out of my labels if i feel so trapped by them. Almost few times a week, i'm told or reminded of how "awkward" i am and how "cute" it makes me. It's driving me nuts. But because of my lack of experience to everything, i feel uncomfortable doing things that are "normal"? Like parties, going to the bar, even talking to a guy.

Advice?

[Taeyeon0424]

First of all, there is NO shame for being a virgin or for not using alcohol.
Because sex is something you should really enjoy with somebody you love and if you haven't that person yet, that's okay! You have a lifetime ahead and if you don't save it for the person you truly love, you will regret it in the future :( Plus, high school relationships usually do not last long :/
Alcohol is not good for you and I really don't want you to get pressured into trying them :(
You should NOT be friends with those girls that want to corrupt your health either... :(

As an awkward person myself, I just want to tell you that it's okay :)
There are many other people who might feel introverted and awkward.
My best advice to you is to just not be pressured into "normal" thing or things that are uncomfortable.
Sometimes going to bar and partying are not the enjoyment source for people and that's okay!
I feel awkward talking to guys sometime but I think it's pretty normal.
I personally get really conscious of myself and jittery.
Unless you truly WANT to do something, don't do it!
And when it comes to guys... all I can say is that guys your age are leveling down hormone-wise and probably act like human beings LOL so if you want to talk to them, you could practice some social skills.
What I do:
- Smile (don't over exaggerate but just enough to make you look friendly)
- Nod your head (people always like to be recognized or understood)
- Ask questions (Conversations usually start with questions about the person, what the person likes or is interested in)

Good luck!
I'm always here :)

[Asker]

Finally someone that understands. I mean i dont mind drinking once in a while (the few experiences i had with drinking was awful), so i try not to drink a lot. I've only drank about 4-5 times total. And yah, the sex thing... im really in no rush. All my friends have lost their virginities.. but that isn't a big issue to me. As for guys, i can't even maintain eye contact with the sometimes. I get so shy and i dont know how to respond or act. I should just be myself, but i always worry that people will think im weird or awkward... and it makes me awkward, quiet and/or boring. It's a struggle im trying to grow out of. But thank you for the advice, it's helpful :)

[recklessheart]

girl - you gotta break that image if you don't like it. im sure you have friends, maybe ask some of your girls to take you to the bar to help you break loose a little bit. Maybe try getting a new hair cut or makeover or something that will make you feel a bit more confident. You have to go into things you're not familiar with with huge confidence that you'll do great - trust me, i know, I had serious, clinical anxiety problems and people never believe me because now I try and be very confident with myself and able to laugh at myself if I say something dumb or "awkward". Just own it.

You don't have to get drunk or be flirtatious if you don't want to, but you can still go to the bar or to a party and have one drink and just talk to people and try to make friends.

I'm sure the people telling you that dont mean it in a bad way but I totally understand what you mean. You should feel empowered and like you can do anything! Try just faking that confidence until it happens naturally and don't beat yourself up over saying something that came out awkward or whatever.

[Asker]

I'm trying to! I'm in my first year of college, and i regret just not wiping high school from my mind and starting fresh. I'm going to try to say yes to more things (that i'm comfortable with, but will push me such as going to the bar... which i am doing tomorrow!!) and i will try to be more impulsive. I'm so cautious and indecisive... i always worry about what my parents will think (so overbearing, i feel like theyre with me when im going out) and i get self-conscious. When I do do something that is "not me", i always get called out for it and it makes me just want to bury myself into the ground. I've had quite a few people tell me that their first impression of me was the opposite of shy, awkward and quiet. I've been told i'm quite outgoing and funny, so i feel like i dont know waht i am and im confused.

[recklessheart]

Good for you for diving into more things! And try not to let your parents overbear you. I know what that's like. you're a grown woman now and you are old enough to do things that might seem a little crazy to them but are totally normal for your age group. Like I said, just fake that confidence and it will happen naturally after awhile. Ultimately you have to be yourself (I know that can be such useless advice, but by that I mean try and find a happy medium). Just remember that you're never going to please everyone. Next time somebody calls you out, (Like maybe they say "this is so not something you do!") try telling them they obviously don't know you very well. you got this, seriously! Just takes sme bravery

[Asker]

Thank you! I've been trying to get myself to say yes to more things and be more impulsive actually. I was actually about to back out of the bar thing since it's with a friend that i don't really know, plus all of her friends. And i'm trying to! My mom especially, is very strict and is always on my back. I love her and she means well, but i feel like i can't breathe. I have to call her every day between 8-9, and if i dont i get voice mails and missed calls. It's stressful. And for sure, i feel like im taking small steps and then it just gets kicked to the curb whenever i hear something negative or whatever about me.

[ArchivalMars2]

Alright for starters it doesn't matter if you're a virgin. Now as for not experiencing parties and going to a bar and that kind of stuff.
1:) Parties: unless it's a party with people you know chances are it will suck and be a complete waste of your time. Trust me I've been to plenty and unless there no one there to talk to then you wasted your night.
2:) Bars: there's not really a specific way to drink you just drink and try to keep it together so that you don't get yourself hurt at the end of the day.
3:) Relationships: okay as for it ever dating in high school, don't worry lots of people decide to avoid relationships till college or after you'd be surprised actually how many. High school relationships don't really last in fact it is rare that they do.
4:) Sex: just take your time, find a guy you think is for you and that you would feel proud to give it to. If you don't like the guy chances are you looking at a bad experience waiting to happen, that and horrible sex worst of all. As long as you find a good partner for you I promise you it won't be bad.
5:) Guys: all I can say is that you'll have to just try as best you can, just keep calm, be yourself, and try to have fun. If you want be with some you should be able to joy yourself not struggle or force yourself. I know not all guys are the most... well decent but trust me there are some.

[Cowboy6666]

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