My half sister doesn't want to talk to me, should I cut ties or try to accept things as is?

[smahala1991]

Everytime i try talking to my half sister on Facebook she always rushes off. Her excuses are:she's babysitting, with her boyfriend, or with her friend. Why can't she do all that and take time to communicate with me. She can her best friend or her boyfriend but why not her brother? Don't get me wrong im not against her having a boyfriend or being with her friends but she needs to try to talk to me and have a good familiar relationship with me not try to shut me out. What should I do?

Updates

+1 y

@EmpatheticLady any words of wisdom

[ChaosKilledTheDinos]

This is crazy, I'm in a really similar position. I have two older half brothers who I didn't grow up with or even know about for most of my childhood. I met them when I was like somewhere between 10-12. Shortly after I met one he moved to Australia and I barely know him. Like me, he's quiet and reserved. The other one is 16 years older than me, is married, has kids, and a full time career. So we don't have a lot in common and it's very hard to connect. We recently fought and stopped talking. When I reach out he doesn't respond. Our problem, and I don't know if it's yours, but it's really hard to connect with them. The age and generational difference is hard as well as geographical differences. I'm in Canada, one brother is in Australia, and the other in the States. So it's hard. The oldest one I've had the most opportunities to get to know but it's incredibly hard to get to know him.

So we don't get on well, have a hard time communicating, finding things in common, and connecting. We don't really understand each other either, and our personality traits make it hard too. I also have some (maybe irrational) anger towards not being brought up with my brothers. And them not being in my life and not responding makes me feel not wanted. It hurts even more because before I even knew I had brothers I had always told my parents (and poor little sister) that I really wanted a brother.

The timing of this post is pretty crazy because I finally tried to talk to my oldest brother in the states about how things have been going downhill for the past 2 years (I was thinking about accepting things as they are and cutting ties as I was just constantly getting hurt). It was a good talk though. *I think you should talk to your sister*. If there's a big age gap, she might be busy and focused on what she's doing. Building a relationship with a sibling, at least for me, has been hard. I'm best friends with my sister, but my brothers are harder to bond with. Try to make plans with her in the future, like ask if she's busy this weekend to get brunch or coffee or something. One of my friends bonds with her brother over movies. I also straight up asked my brother if he wants a relationship with my / our sister and I. (the my / our dad / sister thing is STILL weird to me). You can message me if you want to talk more about this. I really relate.

[EmpatheticLady]

Do what you can do. Don't push or force anything. It will only make matters worse or make her feel like you are being the jerk (when you are just trying to talk to her). It's weird, I know. Even if you can get small conversations, that is better than nothing.

[Ginnyweasley97]

Forcing this could make it worse. If she does not want to talk, dont put any effort into the relationship and don't lose sleep over it.

[smahala1991]

Maybe i should just move on

[Ginnyweasley97]

Yeah it will be hard but it's what its best

[smahala1991]

We both have the same mother. Maybe we're just too far apart to be alike

[Ginnyweasley97]

Thanks for MHO

[smahala1991]

Im done with her anyways and you're welcome.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

She doesn't need to do anything. I think you need to re-asses whats important and what needs to be accomplished. It could be perhaps that you use her as a crutch too much and she cannot deal with it, she could have her own life to live as well. Forcing something like this will only worsen the situation.

[Bananadream]

I guess u should accept things as it is. Because her doesn't want to talk to u is not violating your right and freedom is any way. Is she owes u money or something like that, then u should bug her until she pays. But you two are even, so not need to bug her.

[lonerider]

1. Try 2 times to talk her face-to-face. If she doesn't talk/run's away, ask her if there's some problem.
2. a. She tells i dont wanna talk bcoz xyz.. try to solve the problem
b. She runs off again- never talk to her again. Ignore that bitch. Everyone has a limit.

[vishna]

Were you and her really close in the past?

[smahala1991]

No, we were when we first met

[vishna]

do you have another question exactly like this? because I swear I have a full answer on this... ugh, I think I'm stuck in an odd GaG loop