My girlfriend is moving to florida and wants me to move with her and live with her and her dad

[just_sone_guy]

i am so lost on what to do its driving me crazy. I have been dating this girl for two months now and I do love her but she is moving to florida soon and she wants me to come with her very very very badly. we are both very happy together but she has had terrible luck with people and has been hurt very badly emotionally. she has told me she loved me through notes and text and has said it once verbally but she doesn't want to say is verbally because she is afraid she will jinx what we have and she said if she moves to florida she will cut off all contact with me and when she is leaving she won't even say goodbye so she can try to move on which is all she can do because she will feel so hurt. I love this girl and hurting her is the last thing I want to do. but I'm 17 I haven't even finished high school yet and I have no idea what I could be getting myself into. She has told me I can always make new friends and in general I don't really have much here besides family. while that could be a point I don't even know if I'm ready to move away like that..she said that I could just go down there for a few months just to try it but I just don't know if I'm ready to leave my family friends and all I know. I feel like she might be trying to send me on a guild trip to get me to go down there but I highly doubt that's the case and I just don't know what to do I'm so torn right now. I make it seem like this is all a bad thing buy mabey it could be good. mabey I will get a good job and things will work out. I just am very lost right now because part of me wants to stay and part of me wants to go

[ifiwereyou]

Hey, man. What´s up. I have read your story. I had quite a similar experience, so i´will try to share my point of view about this whole thing.

Listen, man. Things just don´t work that way. It seems to me that you are thinking with the wrong head right now.

First: You need two happy people to make a relationship that´s worth keeping. This means you should never accept negotiating in such unflexible terms. With anyone. Your girlfriend the least. You see, she is basically saying: Do what I say, right now, or you will never see me again. What will be next? Do you really want to live life that way? Would you accept that from a male friend? Have you ever thought about moving before? Wher would you live? How would you pay the rent? I understand.

Second. You met her about two months ago. I think she might be your first girlfriend, or your first "serious" relationship. When you are that young, you may think that you need a girlfrriend to be someone, to be happy, whatever. Well. Tht´s just not true. You need to be in charge of your life, to know what you want... and then, if you want, you can find a woman to share it with her. Finish Hig School, go to college... You will meet tons of women there, and maybe realize she was not that special.

Third. Hurt her by saying no to such an unflexible demand? Come on, man. You don´t want to spoil her, do you? If she wants something from you, she should be willing to give something back, shouldn´t she? The way she presents the choices is at least a bit unbalanced, if not dishonest. She can move there, keep in touch, you go visit her, she visits you, both of you go on holliday together... If things work fine, you think about finding a college or a job in her area, so that you can be together... The longest journey starts with a step, remember? You don´t need to make the whole situation an all or nothing choice. You can go step by step and things will be equally fine if both of you are willing to make it work.

Hpe this helps to clarify things. I´m suere you will make a good decission.

[kinstar]

Let it go you've only been with her for only 2month there's still a lot to find out about them I'm going through the excact same thing but I've been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years now her family are moving and if she stays she won't have anything here apart from me but I've lived in the uk all my life and for me to move is such a big thing I can't do it the excact same way I can't make her stay because it wouldn't be fair on her if she stayed for me or it wouldn't be fair if I had to move and leave everything I've come to know, a country I've called home, the fact of who stays and who goes is putting such a big strain on our relationship even if she agrees to stay or I agree to move the decision is always going to change because one of us is going to have to make the sacrifice and the other will have to live in guilt and have arguments of that subject coming up again every now and again. what happens between me and her is all down to her family moving away where just both going to have to except it and go through all that hurt and questions what if what if and move on at least you didn't waste too much time in the relationship if your not planning on moving and you meet someone that does protect yourself and them from hurt in the future and just don't be with someone that's planning on moving away.

[Muze54831]

Don't go. When in a new place, everything changes. You're going to find yourself even more confused than you already are because you won't know the area at all and you'll have only her. And she may be a wonderful person, but if you go, she's all you'll have unless you find some way to meet new ppl, which is hard to do. On top of that, this economy is horrific. Finding a job is next to impossible, even if you have a college degree. I'm sorry to be so blunt. Really I am.. I'm only 19 so this is jumping around in my mind too, the whole leaving thing. But, I know for a fact that making it on your own is extremely difficult.. so many bills and responsibilities. And even I don't want that right now. Just, figure out what YOU want. That's what matters most. What myself and others say isn't important. In the end, this is all you.

[hellogoodbye2]

Like you said, you're only 17. I'm 17 as well, so I'm not giving you false advice as someone who can't relate.

You've only been dating 2 months, you don't know where things are going to go, so I highly advise against moving down there with her. But I do not think it is fair that she would cut all contact with you. You can talk on the phone, use Skype to talk on the computer, and perhaps you can scrape up the money for one of you to see each other over summer, or Chrismas break or something.

But how do both of your families feel about you moving with them?

[FrancescaMilan]

GIrls gome and go... but if you quit your education - that's a huge mistake you are going to regret for the rest of your life... I would recommend that if you move to Florida - find another school there... But do graduate first! I was about to do the same mistake as you because of a boy... and iM glad I didn't because now he is in the past... So put education first... then girlfriend. IF you can put them together - the better.,...

Also - ask your family for advice. I'm sure they love you and they are going to do everything that is best for you!

[Hughman]

Dude, calm the f*ck down. Seriously.

Do NOT follow this girl. She's going to ruin you. She's an emotional vampire and will eat you alive (she already is, totally feeding on your infatuation with her)

Date her from long-distance, and if it still works out, go to the same college together.

There is NO point in messing up your life for some random emotional fluzy, and abandoning the people you really do love: your friends and family.

I'll repeat it again: STAY the hell where you are.

[hellogoodbye2]

I like the term 'emotional vampire'

[Hughman]

I know far too many people, mainly women, whose life purpose appears to be to create emotional turmoil and to mess with others' emotions.

[tex151]

You may like her and all but your 17 come on get real, finish high school, go to college or whatever you want to do, let her go to Florida. You have only been with her for what two months, why would you even consider going with her? High school relationships rarely ever last, take me for example, I had a girlfriend in high school, and did we live happily ever after, nope we broke up moved on with our lives.

[DanielSan]

this is frankly ridicolous.

1. its illegal to move if your only 17

2. She is the one that most likely creates the emotional drama in her past experiances and she is doing it again with you.

3. you don't know her well enough to live with her.

4. if she does cut contact that's the best way to do it. Its really hard to try and hold onto something you can't have.

but seriously dude...this is stupid...i would say dump her now and don't wait till the last minute...find someone else.

[Anonymous]

Stay. A girlfriend of only two months is not worth your family, life, or education, and she has no right to ask this of you. If things don't work out with the two of you, which I hate to say is pretty likely, you're stuck in Florida with no family, no friends, and no girlfriend. Holding your relationship hostage like this is really selfish. Most people have been hurt before, but she's clearly not thinking straight if she thinks this is reasonable.