My best friend wants to wear the SAME exact dress as me to an event - what to do?

[Anonymous]

So I have an event that I recently bought a ticket to, and I invited my best friend to get a ticket too. Pretty fancy event, where people wear really fancy dresses. Now I had been talking about this dress I purchased for the last 3 months, and how excited I was to wear it. I like being unique and standing out when I wear things, and it’s important to me. She knows this. But when I recently asked her what she thinks she’ll wear she literally said she was thinking of purchasing the same dress! After I’ve already owned it for 3 months. And she didn’t even seem to act like it could be a problem, she kinda said it like it was no big deal. Like “I really like that blue dress you have, I was thinking of going with that!” She’s my best friend and she’s like the sweetest person alive, but I have no idea what to do about this. It may seem petty, but I really really hate matching people. I buy most of my stuff online specifically so I have less of a chance of matching people accidentally. I even bought this dress online! So I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I would die if I had to go to this event with someone matching me exactly. What should I do about this?

[GoodManDave]

Thunderdome fight to the death.

Actually, this is why I’m a little cagey about costuming or what I will wear to something. Either because it might not work out the way I want, or because I want to change a detail.

Of course, I’d probably see it as a compliment.

Sometimes, though, I’ve had circumstances where a phrase or whatever has been originated with me, and then someone else says the same thing about them, and we start the same “tagline” or nickname. And then it becomes an issue of “do I just risk sounding like I’m stealing his thing or do I try to explain this or do I say something else unplanned and let him have the phrase?”!

I’ve had cases where I would decide I’d want to do something with my hair or with some looks, and then five guys change their look to what I was going to do (just before I do it)... and so it would look like I’m copying them when it just happened to start to be a popular look. So then I’d have to hold off and do something else. No biggie for me. I’d just try some other variation.

Can you accessorize? Can you edit the dress in some way to make it different? - don’t tell the friend about the change. Otherwise, just tell it’d be weird for you both to wear the exact same thing. Work it out. Get them to change to a coordinating color. Get different accessories. Do your hair differently. Any of those could make it different to where people might not even notice (or care).

[GoodManDave]

Also, I go the extra mile for some of that... like I pack a different shirt, a different tie, etc. that way if it’s a big deal that a pal and I happen to match, I can edit my look to correspond but not be identical.

[Ghost_Woof]

Rock it! Twinsies!!! Who cares! Life is too short to worry about a stupid dress you will both look cute in it so what's the big deal. I think it's worse to show up yo a party and find someone you don't know wearing the same clothes rather than a friend you can talk to about it!

[samhradh_leannan]

You have a few options.

1. Let her wear the dress and you wear something else. This is the least confrontational response but could potentially be awkward, if she asks why you changed what you’re wearing.

2. Act like there’s some misunderstanding, like she forgot you were already wearing that dress. “Oh, I’m so glad you like that dress, but unfortunately I’m already planning to wear it to this event. You should totally get it for the next event, though. I’ll wear something else to that one.”

3. Tell her the truth. Be tactful and kind by using positive language. Let her know that you’re glad she likes your taste in clothes, and you’d have a lot of fun helping her choose her outfit, but you’ve been planning to wear that dress for a while and you really don’t want to dress exactly the same. Ask her if she’s mind picking something else, as you don’t want to be totally matching. She may be disappointed but she should understand.

[Kakaile]

Hey you know I dont like matching clothes. Is it okay if we plan a girls shoppig day you and me to pick out another beautiful dress for you instead? (Your friend doesn't sound high maitnence so your probs free to change her mind. Make sure you present it in a way of "lets try something else" not "youre ruining my day by stealing my dress wahhh" GL! :) have fun.

[linds34]

It's a little annoying, but I'd just wear a different dress rather than arguing with a friend over who gets to wear it.

[jessture]

Who cares? Just wear the dress you want. Its like the drama on prom night when 2 women wear the same dress. No one cares except those 2 about stirring up drama.

Imagine if guys acted this way when most of them are wearing a suit and tie. It would be quite ridiculous.

[Justacatlady]

Just be honest with her. You don't have to be mean when you say it but tell her that you don't want to match her and that if she wants, you will help her pick out a dress that looks great on her.

[monkeynutts]

Uuuuuum where do you meet friends like this. I a man. Manly man, how much do you like her. You should lay it out straight, and if it causes a katfight record it and post it online so I can see and have a giggle.

[Kat_puppies]

Tell her bitch ik we friends but hell no, i got it first u choose something differ or im taking my ticket back

[babymels333]

yes.

[Kat_puppies]

Ur
welcom

[PillowThief]

You could always show up in a 'fancy dress' dress and see if she'll double up, still. :P

[random56286]

Did you talk to her? If not, why didn't you do that instead of asking this?

[winterfox10]

Why not just say "hey, before you buy that, i was planning on going in that dress, can you pick something else?"

[hasrett]

It's just a dress...
Make sure you don't match shoes, makeup and hair and that's it.

[Patriot357]

Tell her you found this outfit first and ask her to wear something else so you two can be your own person not twins

[Vladgeo1]

If it bothers you so much, talk to her. But keep in mind it's just a fucking dress, and she's your friend. What really matters?

[hornymike6969]

tell her wtf we can't go in the same dress. buy i different one.

[nearly]

spill some awful stuff on her dress. by accident, of course :)

[iamdon]

What kind of best friends u r... just wear same dress.. its cool

[nearly]

have you ever seen 2 girls with the same dress at an event? it's awkward AF!

[iamdon]

Its not awkward.. its jst mentally illness

[nearly]

they would look like they promote something like cigarettes or rum. picture it for a second.

[iamdon]

Couldnt b they look as they r best frnds?

[nearly]

to me, as someone who does not know they are friends, they would like promoters to me.

[nearly]

damn. said 'to me' twice. I think you can forgive :)

[iamdon]

😂😂😂😂😂

[Asker]

THANK YOU! I agree with the promoter thing lol. It would be mega awkward in my opinion

[iamdon]

Promoting friendship, bonding is awkward for girls... lol

[Anonymous]

the best thing to do is just be honest with her, saying " i don't want you looking like me, and if you wear the same thing, im uninviting you"

[HalloPeoplz]

Roll with it, and do something together.
Act like you guys were doing something

[Spacepope]

first world problems.

just tell her she looks fat in that dress.

[Asker]

Lol I wasn’t aware we could only post life-threatening questions on this page. A problem is still a problem even if it’s a first world one lol. And not a good suggestion considering she’s my friend lol

[FluffyBee]

Say no! Let her wear a different blue dress 😄

[Sorathevilone]

OMFG!!! get over it

[Anonymous]

Surely theyve got another colour

[mest54]

Wear sth different

[iamnash]

Tell her no

[lilmissumshine]

Tell her no !

[stfu12345]

Nuttin she bea

[Nitin23]

Listen urself