She doesn't want me, but doesn't want any one else to have me either?

[Anonymous]

I like her and she knows it, we became close friends and when I asked her out she was quite aloof with her response. What I got from it was that she dint want to ruin our friendship/ did not know me well enough yet. When a group of us went to a club yesterday she was drunk asking me to dance with her a lot. After when other girls would come up and dance with me, whenever she seen me even when dancing with another guy she would stop and try to dance with me again. When she is sober she does these things too, if I am hanging out with her and a girl comes over to me she gets jealous/ make fun of them. If she sees me flirting with another girl she actually comes over and interferes or stays close enough to hear and see what is happening. She has tons of guy friends but treats me so differently from them all, she would never do any of this to any of them. She had her chance to have me but refused, so why act this way and these would all be huge signs of interest if I had not already asked her out. Its not like I ignored her after she rejected me we still hang out a lot.

[shyguy007]

Dude I feel your anguish. I'm in the same predicament. My ex is my best friend, the first time we met we dated for 9 months and then her ex showed up and screwed it all up. Thing is we were friends after the break-up and got even closer. While the ex hasn't worked out for her she is still trying to over come her love for him and it's created alotta rifts between us, his a real douche bag by the way. Thing is that when ever another girl showed interest in me she would act cool but underneath the fake smiles she would fume. I once told her I bought my female friend a huge teddy bear and she wouldn't talk to me for a day. Then on another occasion I went to the club with her sister and she wouldn't talk to me for a whole week. She always told me she'd be cool with me and other girls but she secretly keeps tabs on who I'm talking to. I know if she was serious about us she would want to be with me but she holds back because of the ex baggage. I've grown impatient and irritated and have decided to let her go. I wish I could just walk away from her and move on but it's so damn difficult, she has all the qualities you look for in a girl and when I'm with her it's like we the only two people in the universe. I haven't spoken to her in a while and yesterday she sent me a message, saying "Just give me some time...

[Asker]

"I wish I could just walk away from her and move on but it's so damn difficult, she has all the qualities you look for in a girl and when I'm with her it's like we the only two people in the universe" I have that exact same feeling. every time I feel like I finally pulled away she does something that brings me back. it almost feels like I am plan B.

[peaceloveemusic]

She obviously does have feelings for you, but there's some reason she doesn't want to date you. She doesn't want you, but no one else can either. She's playing games, and I don't think she legitimately likes you, but she wants you there just in case. She may be your dream girl, but you can't hold onto her because she'll never give you want you want. She's using you and wouldn't be good in a relationship. If I were you, I would talk to her about it. Friendship or no, she is keeping you form moving on, which you need to do. Just firmly tell her that she's not making any sense, and that she had a chance with you but didn't take it so she needs to either commit or step out of your life. Even if she denies it, there is no doubt that its true. Or you could just act really weird next time she comes around when you're with a girl, like act weirded out. It ma be hard to do since you still like her, but she needs to stop and probably won't unless you do something. You need to move on and find a girl that will treat you right. And she will never be it.

[Charnelle]

I use to be friends with a girl like this and honestly you should just move on. She kept talking to this guy although she didn't like him, just because she didn't want anyone else to have him. Yes there are girls like that smh. And the guy was a great guy and really cared about her but she didn't care. Girls like her are just boy collectors who need attention to feel good about themselves, if you move on maybe she'll come around. But I can't see why you would want her.

[Asker]

She does seem like a guy collecter but the reason I thought she liked me in the first place is she was so different with me than them. like she won't interfier when one of the other guys is alone with a girl but does it to me or gets upset if I ignore her but again doesn't care about other guys & other crap like that. I guess that the same reason I still am around is for the same reason.

[Charnelle]

But she could also be keeping you around for the fact that she's not done playing with you yet. And do you know what goes on between her and these other boys when you're not around? The reason she want to keep your attention on her can be because she knows what a great guy you are and doesn't want other guys to come and take you away from her.

[Charnelle]

I mean girls, she doesn't want the girls to take you away from her. Kind of like there could be a hotter girl trying to talk to you, but if you give her your attention that's her way of feeling better about herself because when you do that it tells the girl she is better than her.

[Asker]

yeah she has kind of done stuff like that I have had hotter girls come talk to me she just she shells up & looks jealus, I tend to ignore her if she acts like this. she even tells me how good, great of a guy I am, especially if I get mad at her & how she doesn't want to lose me. As a guy I don't understand if I am this amazing guy why not go out with me? or is it that she does not want to lose attention from other guys then? because she is pretty enough to draw attention from guys with girlefreind

[Charnelle]

Well she could just want to have her cake and eat it too. You're giving her a relationship without the commitment involved while she still has the freedom to go around and talk to other guys. So that could be the reason she doesn't want to be with you.

[Asker]

vary true a couple people have asked me/ treated us like we are going out. I don't blame her for doing that just wish I could some how turn it around. the only thing I see as an option is just talk to as many girls as I can while she is around and reverse the situation.

[beautiqueen147]

She's selfish... That is the only conclusion I can come to. You're right, she doesn't want to be with you and doesn't want anyone else to be with you either. You need to talk to her and tell her listen I like you and I wanted to see where we could've gone but you made it clear you didn't want that so I'd appreciate it if you would not interfere in my conversations with other girls.

[Asker]

the things so hard for me because I not only still have feelings for her but she treats me so differently from the other guys that it feels like she still likes me and makes it high impossible to get over her, along with the fact she fits exactly what I want in a girl.