I live with a friend I met 10 years ago. We have only ever been friends. No sex, no kissing.. Nothing. We call each other brother and sister. Never had any issues and we always try to work out any issues that might arise. But in the end, I get a lot of flac from people who think it's weird that I live with a woman whom I have never slept with. And yes, I sleep in a separate room.
Is it weird for opposite gender roommates to live together?
Is it weird for opposite gender roommates to live together?
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
It’s unusual, but if you both enjoy living like, I don’t see a reason to be so worried about what other people think or perceive!
It's not that I'm worried about it, it's that I have been cut off from family and friends because of this "It's against god" kind of attitudes. They don't talk to me, so I had to just walk away from family and religion, and even some so called friends because of this. It's frustrating, but it's something I had to deal with. Just putting this question out there to see how others think on the subject is very helpful menally.
Wow! You’ve really had it tough. I don’t understand why your family and friends would pick the wrong impression about you and your roommate though. Are you guys very affectionate towards each other? If so, that could be what’s triggering all those issues!
Nope, we act like siblings. Out of the whole 10 years, I have hugged her only twice. That is the extent of it. Jehovah's Witnesses do not believe in the opposite sex living together. My family are JWs.
🤔 that is so sad! Personally I see nothing wrong with roommates, it is unusual that a man and a woman would have such a good relationship and still remain only as friends. But it’s what makes your situation really special. I’m glad you stand up for your beliefs and your rights. I hope things get better for you and your roommate though! 😊👍🏼
thank you. Very kind of you. Just a side note, I'm used to the world where men and women share bathrooms and we think nothing of it. In fact one women whom had never seen a bathroom like that before actually asked me to dance with her. I found out she was married and had children of her own and she wanted to know more about me. I eventually met her hubby and he was really a nice guy. Explained to him how we met and he didn't think anything of it. Point is, people can get along, if people would just get paranoia out of their heads about certain beliefs. Equal Respect of one another is key here, not what's between the legs.
I mean... Just look at the Offline TV house from Twitch. Mixed gender house of streamers and content creators. Good friends and they aren't dating or anything. I don't think it's weird to live with the opposite sex if they aren't your family. If they are a friend, or someone that you happen to share a space with due to other circumstances, it's just a part of life. Not every situation or instance that occurs between men and women have to do with sex. I understand that humans are amongst a very small fraction of creatures that have sex solely for the enjoyment of the act and not procreation, but still we are able to control our actions... Most of us are.
My roommate is female and has a dog (also female). I pretty much consider the dog a roommate too somewhat. I'll even watch the dog while she's away on vacation. I treat my roommate great. We talk, sometimes watch shows together. We're just like good friends. No intentions, other than being kind. I expect nothing back. I never thought about sex, nor would I want to. We never even discussed bounderies before living together. I guess we are just naturally on the same page. I honestly don't see the big deal. Do I find her atteactive? Yes, because she is. Am I attracted to her? No. We just have different physical anatomy. Doesn't mean there needs to be romance or lust. *shrug*
Np. I get it man. Most people sex to think I'm going to or should be sexing up or wifing my roommate. It's dumb. It's worse when I mention that we're moving out, together. Haha
It’s not weird at all honey. Please have gender expectations and when people don’t follow that stereotype or tv or wherever they think it’s weird “why isn’t he doing what we think he should be doing, why is he proving us wrong?” It’s your life don’t let other people dictate how you live it
I am getting a new roommate, and its gonna be a lady. She is really cute She moves in on June 1st. She is going to be living with 3 guys. Me and the guys made a pact not to try and flirt or develop feelings lol. We dont want to ruin dynamic we already have.
The key to that is not to TRY... but DO. Meaning, if you make a pack, it should never enter into your minds from that point on.
My friend basically has let me know she is comfortable with me. Wanna know how? She leaves her clothes laying on the bathroom floor. Undies and all. Not always a pretty site. Point is, when they are to the point that they don't care what you see, they are comfortable with you. Also, keep physical contact to a limit. Think of it this way, how would you be with other guys? You wouldn't be pinching their asses, or hugging all over them. Treat her with the same respect and you'll do fine.
I've found it's more of a social faux pas in some places and less in others. For example, I live on the West Coast with my wife and a female friend in the same house. We often have another woman there who we used to live with, but she moved out and now she's over so often she has a key to the place. It's pretty normal for our city (Portland), but when I talk to friends and family back home (Kentucky), they all think it's weird. Except for my Aunt, who lived in NYC and LA for quite some time.
I don't see why it'd be weird. In my third year of university I shared a flat (three bedrooms, all separate) with two girls, one was a friend from our uni's film-making society (as we were both on the committee) and the other was her course mate. We all had enough privacy and boundaries and it was perfectly fine.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Not weird. I lived with three women in college. (All at once.) It worked well. They were tidier than any guy I’ve ever lived with. The only downside was dealing with judgement… from guys mostly. I’d get random high-fives like they thought it was a 24/7 FFFM orgy or they thought I would end up hen pecked and buried in used tampons. Both are stupid notions, of course.
i have 2 girls as roommates (we share a house with one of the girls boyfriend, one of them is single too). the opposite sex are people too and its only weird if you make it weird.
My girlfriend has a male flat mate. Nothings ever happened between them (as far as i know). He's a good guy, we get along well enough. If it works for you its fair enough
That was nearly thirty years ago. LOL She moved across the country with me, which looking back is amazing in and of itself. But then I had to buy a house, so she was going in on it with me, and said, "Don't you think we should get married if we're going to buy a house together?" I guess so. My messy divorce just set me back about a half-mil. People ask why divorce is so costly... BECAUSE IT'S WORTH IT.
We've been through thick and thin, and she's a trooper. Great gal, smart, crafty, generous, and loves me to death. It helps that she's gorgeous. You never get tired of that. And a real sordid past, for a lot of reasons.
I have to agree, get the divorce over with. It's definitely worth it. No more strings attached unless children are involved. And even then, if you have kids, still get the divorce. That frees up a lot of emotional baggage.
A person's past should never reflect of how you feel about them in the present. If I did that, I would have been single all my life. But as it stands, I have met many great women in my lifetime and only one of them do I not trust. All the rest I am at peace with.
"A person's past should never reflect of how you feel about them in the present." This. A bold honest statement of fact. You really shouldn't even ask. It has no bearing on today, on YOUR relationship with them, and it's really none of your business. And why I always say, 'Never kiss and tell. EVER'
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