Are my parents toxic or am I the toxic one?

[fxxxckn]

I’m 16 years old and I live in a household with both parents and my younger sister growing up my dad has always been an alcoholic and has never been there for me and my sister but still lives with us. He is emotionally abusive towards my mom and was unemployed for over a year but my mom refuses to leave him Bc she needs help paying the bills. Bc of that my mom has forced me to pay the phone bill for everyone in my family every month and I work at a fast food chain and make 9.25 an hour and make about $120 a week a few weeks ago I wasn’t able to afford the phone bill so I paid it with my moms credit card, she found out and forced me to pay her back and threatened to forcefully take the money out of my bank account if I didn’t pay up and even said she would take me to court as well. My mom has been recently calling me fat every time she sees me eating food from my work place even though I’m not fat at all but yet she’ll bring pizzas home almost every day. The only reason she stopped calling me fat is Bc I snapped at her. My sophomore year of high school when I was only 15 my mom took my phone away Bc the bathroom wasn’t clean when she had asked me to clean it. I stayed after school that day Bc I usually always stayed after and I was on my way to walk to nearby gas station with my friends when my mom got out of the car and told me to go with her and I said that I was just going to the gas station and me being mad at her I refused to go with her, when I had gotten back from the gas station she was gone and so I tried calling and texting her from a friends phone Bc I had gotten mine taken away that morning and I asked her if she could get my dad to come pick me up and she said no and for me to find a way to get home on my own so I asked someone I barely knew for a ride home and luckily I was able to get home since all my friends had already left and none of their parents would give me a ride. Once I got home my mom tried physically dragging me out of the house.

[Adam1978]

The only wrong I see is you using your mothers credit card. You should simply give her the facts and let it go. It would be her call to let the bill go over due or use it. Not yours. Having a alcoholic father that abuse your mother is toxic. Having you ship in to have a remote chance to make it go around is just desperate move. Not much different then you paying rent at home since you have a income. Your snapped at you for using her credit card is understandable because you made a bad situation worse. And she is in very bad stressed situation. Trying to dump you and throw you out on the street at your age is never okay move for a parent. As I see it you have one key thing to do and that is get yourself out of that house on your terms. So somehow try to get a income that covers renting a room. The other is optional report your father for abuse of your mother with evidence so your mother can't deny it and keep suffering. That will split your parents up and in the long run perhaps get your mother on a better track. She won't be grateful for many years if ever. But at least the abuse will end.

[Mynameisbobby]

It's not you It's definitely them. They are abusive to you and you don't deserve that. Talk to a relative or counselor at school.

[btbc92]

They're not just toxic. Your family is not just as functional, your parents are abusive. However I can definitely tell you by personal experience, as long as you're around that, the longer you're with that, the higher chance for you to be just as toxic as them. While it doesn't necessarily make you toxic per se, but you can't have negative things attached to you because of how long you been there. As long as you understand that behavior and way of living is not normal you do not have adhere let alone live that same lifestyle once you get out from their household.

The only thing I can say is that you can develop toxic traits but that doesn't necessarily make you toxic as a person. It just give you a better opportunity to be self-aware, and the ability to change instead of becoming the very type of person you don't want to become. Just understand that because of the trauma you act at greater risk of such issues after you leave their home. So if you need any help is best to look the resources that can help you professionally especially if your school cannot help you directly.

[TheLittleInnocent]

Pretty sure its them. Its unfortunate y'all have to suffer cuz ur parents are crappy.

[GAGSucksBalls1]

you're just an angsty teen, it;; get better/easier

[Anonymous]

the whole family has issue

[Yourman89]

Sounds like them..