Were either of your parents narcissistic?

Question

I hate watching Tangled because Mother Gothel is basically my mom. I came across these articles and its scary how my mom matches the majority. I thought it was just because she was a Leo, but oh well 🤣

Were either of your parents narcissistic?

She stays bragging to her coworkers about my academic achievements and my sister’s artistic talent but outside of that, she didn’t care to spend much time with us.

I hardly got hit as a kid but she constantly yelled to get her point across. I once told her she was a bully and was given the death stare. And I constantly had to hear “Oh are you about to cry again?”.

This one is 100% the icing on the cake.

I was initially her golden child and her shadow while she often left my sis behind. She praised my academic achievements yet talked my sis out of going to college fearing that “having two successful children would make her look like a loser.” And once I was old enough to make money, she told me her goal was to drain me financially so that this “walking atm” could never afford to leave her. I eventually got her told. But now my sis has replaced me as the golden child since she's the new financial provider.

She has used the “you owe me since I raised you” line for years now. My grandpa was the first to use that line and she claimed she’d never be like him. But she’s become both of her parents— a verbally abusive mooch

I’d actually thank one of my exes for helping me to see through her and surpass her manipulative tactics.

This is why I prefer light hearted jokes. But I’m used to smiling through the pain.

Not big on zodiacs, but it describes my Leos parents well. #FeelFreeToList

Feel free to compare your parents to these articles...

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/09/05/a-psychologist-shares-the-signs-of-a-narcissistic-parent-its-a-toxic-way-to-raise-your-kids.html#:~:text=Narcissistic%20parents%20maintain%20their%20power,uncomfortable%2C%20disloyal%20and%20psychologically%20unsafe.

https://amymarlowmacoy.com/5-traits-of-narcissistic-parents/

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes. Infact my mom is evan diagnosed as a narcissist by liscensed psychologists.

She sure had favorites.. she was very abusive. It will take forever to write it all here but she was very similar to Gypsy Rose mom. She would drug me in secret and if I missbehaved she let me sleep on benched outside. She loved seeing me in pain so much. She is pure evil and I have witness but if you met her you wouldn't think so at first, you'd have to live with her.

As long as I have power over her, she is nice to me but her mask will crack sometimes and then I will just leave and go home to my apartment.

@DizzyDesii am really sorry your mom is that bad. I hope you have healed or at least working on it and know you dont owe her anything. You can leave her without explanation to anyone.

provokeesmokee · Accepted Answer

My mother. She meets all of these.

She raised me referring to me as her Retirement Fund (she never held a job longer than 6 months - in one year of part time work, I outearned her whole lifetime).

She would get angry and competitive over GRADE SCHOOL me getting good grades. I'm not kidding. If I showed her an A, she'd get mad at me for "being a show off".

She also tried to get me to sign up for eHarmony and make a profile SHE could login to to "live vicariously through me". She proposed this in front of her husband.

Oh, and she kicked my cat.

I've been no contact with her for 5 years and it's been amazing. Best move for my mental health ever.

mstbooblover · Answer

Sad complicated topic, but rather common it seems. My father was such a narcissic, but also sadistic person. We never fulfilled his expectations, and thus he neglected completely his sons (he only had sons), safe to punish them in often disproportionated ways for some silly and often genuinely for us unknown reason. During a certain period he decided, and enjoyed, practicing on us punishments used by colonials on Africans, like spanking with a thin stick on the naked buttocks. Just the truth, not to be proud of.

My father's second wife was actually far worse than her husband, with being a hypocrite sadist for instance, enjoying humiliating us and getting her husband to punish us for just her own satisfaction. She just told lies to him about what we were supposed to have done, and he never bothered to check the truth. Sure he was gone to his job during most days, and the less we saw him, the better for us... Ultimately, I mustered the courage, at 16 years, to leave for ever that sinister place and live with our grandmother. My older brother had already left home since years, and my younger brother just followed me.

Having narcissic people around is a hell ! Believe me.

MemeSupreme · Answer

wow, this is a really relatable post and also makes me dead inside to read lol

yes, my mother is and A LOT like yours. she knows exactly how to get under my skin and its very exhausting. i can have the perfect day and she can ruin it within seconds without trying. she didn't hit me too often, but when she did it didn't hurt nearly as bad as her words. i have a lot of opinions on her but won't go into detail so i dont trauma dump on you lol

BUT she has put in the effort to be better after 3 years of no contact. usually her apologies make me uncomfortable but this one felt different and actually genuine. didn't rewrite history or anything. i let her back in my life and we're taking it slow which im probably gonna regret but we'll see

by the way are you still in contact with yours and if so hows that going?

ohsheeT · Answer

Well as for my dad I didn't meet him until I was 27 and just around 32 33 still wanting to know who I was. But came back know who I didn't want to be.
Don't get me he's a good guy we just go about things differently

As for my mom Ioved out when I was just about 16 and now raising he she has Alzheimer's pretty bad she was living with my sister they had bought a house together.
and called me up crying one day
Asked if I could come get her that she couldn't live there anymore
I went to see what was going on. And moved her out told her she could live with me. I honestly think raising my kids was easier it is so heartbreaking to watch a strong independent confident woman who is smart in control
Just all of a sudden disappeared and is between 3 and 5 years old it's just heartbreaking I could not put her in a home
And decided to move her to my house

So if either one of them were I don't know anything about it I doubt they were

electromagnetic · Answer

I’m sorry you went through this. I can only imagine from what you’ve written how disheartening it is.

my parents were the opposite. My dad was a very loving man. Did everything for us if we asked. Unfortunately my mum is a bit of a push over. She allows her brother and mother to walk all over her making demands over our lives.
basically puppet masters while my mum and siblings are the puppets. When my dad was around, they never happened.
There’s a great divide on my mum’s side of the family. My grandma is the matriarch and my siblings and I are the sorry people since we did and will not conform to such outdated practices.
That’s why I always say faq them elders 😂 cause my elders aren’t it.

Finchie40 · Answer

I would say my Dad was to a certain extent but not full blown , He was more of a selfish alcoholic more than anything , as for my Mom she was complete opposite , I never truly understood why my Mom tolerated my Dad for as long as she did but apparently they were happily married and stayed together until my Mom passed away last year , Now that my Dad is without my Mom , I am starting to see my Dad’s true colors a lot more , I know my Dad loved my Mom but in his selfish ways , my Dad was a hard worker and he provided a lot for all of us which I am very grateful for , but my Dad was very selfish and abusive when it came to only seeing things his way , which sadly a lot of people tend to do these days , so in a sense I can accept it more lol

Anonymous · Answer

I mean, every parent likes to brag about their kid's achievements. So do mine. That's the only part of this question that corelates with my parents. No other part describes them. My dad likes it when I do good in sports events ( it's more like he doesn't intentionally brag, but he likes it when other people talk how good I was, and just says " that's my son").
Other than that they've always spent time with me when I wanted to. And took interest in things I like, teaching me how to do something.

normalice · Answer

To the extent that everyone is a little bit of a narcissist, surely. There is a healthy amount of narcissism we should all have for the sake of self improvement. I don't think they were too far outside the standard deviation. Mostly, my parents' problem was that we were poor. That was a byproduct of them just wanting money to fall out of the sky for them alone, instead of doing anything sensible and stable to obtain it, but their reaction to being poor was way off the rails.

AaronKrieger · Answer

Nope, fortunately I never experienced it. However, I've dated girls who have and known friends who do. I've seen the effects it has on the kids of parent (s) who are and it's frustrating. It's definitely something I remember when I think about how I'll end up raising my own kids one day.

DJB72 · Answer

No, but based on your article I'm worried I might be...

The problem is generalisation. I'm truly sorry for what you experienced.

My dad was my best friend once I'd left home. He pushed me to become the best man I could be for my future's sake and I'll always be thankful he did. He gave me a resilience and strength I've needed these last few years and I wish he'd lived to see how what he gave me as a child gave me the strength of Spirit and Moral Compass I have today.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

Pretty much the opposite. They were both pretty humble. For example my dad was very intelligent but I never once heard him brag about that or anything else. My mom was very religious. She was humble for religious reasons. She was not vain at all, and believed it was her duty to help and serve others.

If there was any vanity in either one of them, I never saw a hint of it.

AlexEfron · Answer

No. But my relation with my parents is very formal. I guess it's because of the age difference. My parents are older than most of my friends' grandparents 😂.

They're nice and supportive. But I have a huge responsibility towards them, they're helpless without me. Also, I never had an informal relation with them. I could never joke around with them or play or have fun with them. So growing up my pc was my only friend. Maybe that's why I am the way I am.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Nope. My dad is awesome and my mom, well she's different. Overly sensitive to the point you always have to walk on eggshells. She's also an oversharer. You ever want to hear about a strangers yeast infection, then pull up a seat next to my mom and hear all about and then some.

smashleyy · Answer

my mom has a lot of narcissistic tendencies, it was 10 times worse when I was younger tho cause of addiction. not as bad now that she’s sober but I still keep my distance.

Lynx122 · Answer

Nope my dad was/is just mostly indifferent and my mom was/is very loving and caring. But neither one was this way.

WonderBell99 · Answer

No, both my parents are amazing. Sure, they ain’t perfect, but they tried their best.

slatyb · Answer

No, but my ex-wife was. My father had other deficits.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

The people who raised me definitely were  and I didn’t learn until my sisters had children that parents are extremely envious of their children

RavVid · Answer

My mother doesn't line up on these but it is certainly all about her.

annabananna · Answer

My mother is like all the points you listed. I'm not saying she has narcissistic personality disorder but she has a lot of traits.

AdithyaR · Answer

Fortunately for me, my parents have been near damn perfect. They may make mistakes but they're always mature enough to own up to it and do better.

Were either of your parents narcissistic?

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