Do you tell everything to your parents as an adult?

Question

Do you still feel the need to tell everything to your parents? I never felt the need to tell everything to my parents even when I was a teen and lived at their house. Nowadays, I have my own place and do whatever I want however, my dad still gets mad at me for not informing him that I went to have dinner with someone or that I met someone at a certain place. Sometimes he calls me late at night like 2am and if I'm at a friends place or doing whatever he gets mad. He also loves to ask me how much did this or that cost and asks me how much is my salary or how much money do I have in the bank which I refuse to answer I mean ffs I worked really hard for my career and to have a decent job with a great salary. Is this a normal behavior?

ragequeen · Accepted Answer

I've realized that people who had strict parents tell them less and less as they get older, because they enjoy the independence. It feels good not to have someone look over your shoulder 24/7 and know exactly where you are and who you are with all the time. People with open minded and more laid back parents tell them a lot more about their lives. I've experienced friends even telling their parents about their sexual lives and experiences because they are just so used to the relaxed and free environment. So there is a fine line, I guess.

If you don't tell your parents enough, you can't expect them to help you in the right ways. For example, if you never tell them about your finances, you can't expect them to just suddenly give you money. Or if you never open up about your mistakes, they can never understand why you fail and give you the right advice.

For me, I tell them the most important stuff, but leave details out. I just say "my finances are okay" or "I'm having a hard time with this one class". This gives them an accurate and honest overview on my life, without saying everything and giving up my privacy.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Well, he loves you and you don't bother to tell him anything as if he doesn't matter. That is like saying you want to write them off and never speak to them again after they raised you and such. Unless your father is abusive and dysfunctional. You need to be happy that he cares. I still tell my parents things, but I have limits now. What you need to do is set boundaries and talk to your father's mom. You don't communicate with him when needed and to be honest he shouldn't be calling you at 2 am at night unless an emergency. He wants you to be safe, have healthy habits, and start living your life right so you won't have many problems. But where he also fails to see is that you have your own LIFE and he needs to respect that. If something happens to you, that's on you now and only you can be responsible for what happens if you don't be responsible more for it.

Jjpayne · Accepted Answer

Im openly honest with my parents. Call it what you will but they have always been supportive and for the most part non-judgemental. But I've had plenty of times like that those "what are you doing, where are you going" it gets annoying 🙄 but unless you want to share, it's your life and you are entitled to privacy. I say, tell your parents that I will tell you what happens when I'm ready to talk about it, I ask you to respect my right to privacy, is that fair? I promise not to keep anything important from you but the little details, id like to keep to myself. Something like that 🤔

CallMeDave · Accepted Answer

No. At your age, I think that's intrusive for him to ask all of that. I have a daughter younger than you are and I don't talk with her about her life at anywhere near that level of detail. She's an adult, as are you, and I think she and you are entitled to privacy and to only share what you want to share.

I am of course willing to talk with her any time about anything she wants to discuss, but I don't push her to share anything she doesn't want to share. Honestly, I don't think it's healthy for a parent to be that involved in their children's lives once they become adults.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

Hahaha, NO.

I love my parents, however, even as an adult, they still tend be overprotective and worry over me. With that being said, I do tell them the good aspects of my life, such as things related to my job, friends, or anything positive in my life.
I remember a few years ago when I got promoted at my job, I rushed outside and immediately called my mom and told her the good news: she's still proud of me and likes hearing about the good things in my life!!! And guess what...

That's normal and perfectly okay.

And then you have things such as guy drama, breakups, work drama that I typically avoid telling them if possible- mostly to keep them from worrying about me or stressing too much.

jgokgotit · Answer

No matter how old you get, your parents will still have their parental instincts. I know it gets annoying, but try not to get mad at them. They are not asking for information to scold you, but to know you're doing ok. As for your dad getting mad when you do not tell him your whereabouts, it is because he wants to know you're safe. If he is still around when you're 50 that will never change. I am 27 and I still let my mom know when I'm going somewhere for safety reasons and I am a military veteran. I do not tell her everything, but my mom is my number one confidant.

heatherlou · Answer

I tell them stuff - but only like if it comes up naturally in conversation. I talk to my mum at least two or three times a week so obviously stuff does come up, but I definitely don't tell them every little thing. That would be crazy.
I'm an adult - I live my own life.

SirenDep · Answer

Some parents are like this. They think that they can help you and protect you that way, make you a better person. It's perhaps their way of showing their love and care. It is controlling behavior, though. Especially since you live alone. Assert your independence, put some limits. Do so in a respectful way. Don't shut them off your life either

jennifer_bloom · Answer

My parents have no clue. I discuss only food and chores with them. They have no knowledge who I’m interested in dating or who my friends are or what my goals or what I do or how I feel or what my dreams are. Honestly I would rather jump in front of a train than have a personal relationship with my dad and I would rather doe from cancer than let my abusive mother go to heaven or enjoy God’s love after the horrible way she treated me and my dad.

just_a_potato · Answer

I love my parents but because of how I was raised, I'm left to believe they'll never be proud of me unless things are done their way. So as a result, as soon as I can leave my home they are cut out of my personal affairs. Only expections are when I send them wedding invites, when they come to see their new born grandchildren, and when I come over for the holidays on obligation.

EyebrowChewie · Answer

Typical of them, they just don't want you to live your life without them and hope they are in some way able to help and be there. They want you to have children and live the society's norm and so asking how much you earn is a factor in how much they give you to support children it's a negotiation. If you're already living the high life without children, that's why he's mad lol they want you to save money for children!

Anonymous · Answer

No, I stopped when I moved out. There’s no need to know everything, they wouldn’t understand half the things I’d tell them anyway. I’d share just about enough for them to not be worried but most conversations are something along the lines of “You good? Aw, chicken for dinner? Sounds tasty. Yeah, I’m well. Alright then talk next week” lol

Apope16 · Answer

I think my girlfriend does. I dont. It depends on how close you are with them. She is close and im not.

Cdnowl · Answer

No. Not everything but my mom and I do have a pretty open relationship. I feel I could tell her anything but i prefer to keep some things a secret. I just feel she would be disappointed in me otherwise.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

Hell no. It's kinda funny though, the things I can't tall to my dad about, I can tell my mom. And the things I can't tell my mom, my dad knows about. If they ever actually talked they'd know everything. But they've been separated since I was 4

Unit1 · Answer

Very normal.
I tell my parents nothing at all.
They have a habit of using everything I say against myself. The only way I can be right is by being silent. And then my mother still gets mad, that I do not talk. Can't win. Won't play.

nodnol32 · Answer

I talk to them everyday but i don't need to tell them everything. Whatever they ask i tell them since they are genuinely concerned for my well being and for advice, they're always my first point of contact.

Holisticapproachsara · Answer

No way!!! U want me to tell them that i like big dicks and white guys😂🙈? !!!

Egirl28 · Answer

No I have learned somethings partners should not know.

Miserablegirl · Answer

I tell my mom everything lol so far I haven't felt any regret by doing so... but to each their own lol not every parent can deal with their kid's shit 🤣

oncpl · Answer

Something needs to be kept secret lest they should hurt, or it is morally inappropriate to tell them.

zagor · Answer

I tell them a lot more than I used to. Especially about things I did in the distant past.

shade_19 · Answer

Naah ! Not really  But i don't hide unnecessary stuff to them either

AmeerX · Answer

I tell my father about almost everything I do. I think it is good for us

Do you tell everything to your parents as an adult?

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