Why are my parents still babying me?

[Anonymous]

I’m 18 now and I constantly feel like my parents are way too overprotective and have been one of the main reasons for me becoming depressed over the years. My dad switches off the wifi every single night and my mom slut shames me from time to time. Most of people my age have a lot of freedom to go partying and go out without having the fear of the parents saying no and feeling embarrassed to tell the person I can’t make plans. There is this one guy I started liking recently and he wants to make plans soon but I’m not sure if my parents would allow me and I’m scared he is going to give up trying to make plans with me because of it

[Aakash_Hangargi]

How sure are you that they turn of the WiFi for you at night and not to save electricity bc not much use of it at night 🌃😝.


You are just freshly out your teens so, they feel responsible to teach you things.

You know when people get more freedom freshly off their teens there are more chances of rebellious behaviour and going down the supposedly the wrong path.

Meaning spending money, drugs, having unprotected sex etc etc.

Now these things could be kept in consideration.

Life as teen and that to as a fresh adults is full of adreline rush and thrill for guys its like bikes and fights could be possibly gambling or getting some addiction.

For girls I could guess is there beauty like how people would see them and the way they dress boosts there confidence.

And wrong people to know the right thing to say to spell bound you and you would go as far as stealing for them or demanding for sexual things.


I think your parents will give you the freedom slowly and steadily but i think they are still trying to educate you with social norms and to be a person who is socially appropriate like to fit in the zone.

Now also human life is full of proving them to others for anything on reality to earn any kind of previledges.

And also they have been protecting you till now as a child so you also need to understand it's hard for them to bileive you are growing up to be a women.

And for some reason both parents love the girl child more.

Also just be happy that you had a life so well protected and handed out to you everything you desired.

There are lots of orphans out there who were put in shelter homes or adopted by the wrong family and got abused.

Turning off wifi at night lol it's very least of an issue.

Just speak to them that they need to trust you more and you would keep them informed of activities they will feel happy that you are secure and you entrust them so they will also trust you as well its a two way street.

[ChrisMaster69]

There is a very fine line between protecting and controlling.

what you describe is more controlling than protective, and usually the type of thing you see in very religious families or certain cultures.

what they do not realise is the impact on your socialising skills as a young adult, it can have long reaching impact on how a person deals with others at a social level.

I would try to get some form of ‘trust’ built up with them, play their rules up to a point, however this type of thing really does impact people’s mental health and their ability to engage with their peer group, they do not learn street skills that teens do, they do not learn things that as a teen do not really matter but as a 18-20 year old really do matter.

possessive, controlling can be as bad as abusive (obviously not all the way) as it changes how someone is at a core level.

[SueShe]

There is nothing wrong with shutting off the wifi at night. As a matter of fact, that is a wise move because it limits the harmful waves going through the house. Furthermore, there is no need for wifi at night anyway.

As for your parents being more strict with you, this is also due to their concern about you growing up in a healthy environment rather than in a toxic. Your mother seems to place great importance on the way you dress and that is not really a negative aspect of her education either.

However, you being 18 now should be considered as a responsible adult and you should also have a number of freedoms. But bear in mind that you live under their roof and that you have to abide by their rules. If you want more freedom, then you have to consider moving out to your own place where you would be free to behave and do what you want without regard to what your parents think of you.

[Asker]

I completely understand but the part with my mom slut shaming me isn’t right because it’s made me hate my body and something happened to me a while back to believe that it’s always going to be something I’m wearing is the reason why terrible happens to me when it really isn’t and my parents do say a lot of toxic things about me and pretend that I don’t hear them say it

[SueShe]

I am sorry to hear that you have to be subjected to the torments of your parents.

I would recommend that you seek the contact with them and ask them to prepare a list of issues they see with you and the solutions to each of the topics that would be appropriate to them. On your side, you do a similar list and bring a solution that you find would be suitable. Then you sit together and try to find a consensus.

Once a consensus is found, make it clear that you will not tolerate any more shaming because they agreed to the proposed solutions.

Also, be firm when you have a talk with your parents and let them know that if they put so much pressure onto you, the result will be that you will even more liberal when you leave their home and that they will have to bear all the blame if something is not to their liking once you are independent.

Also, let them know that you don't want to separate in bad terms but that if they keep patronizing you, they risk to lose their daughter for good and that it will be their doing and if they are ready to accept the consequences. Good luck.

[JuliaStyles]

You are an Xper 1 and have not made any opinions or previous questions yet, and yet THIS is the first question you ask? Better than all the other troll questions though that are usually about losing your virginity or the "Can I get pregnant for just thinking of having sex?" questions. So I have to give you credit for that. I didn't even think they had heard of G@G in So. Africa.

[Asker]

Is there a problem with me coming from South Africa?😂 I just wanted some help with this situation because it’s been bugging me for a while and I have had this app before

[JuliaStyles]

Like I say, you finding G@G in So. Africa would be like finding the Holy Grail. But besides that, if you are 18 a girl should be an adult and do what she wants - providing she is out on her own and paying her own bills. If you live at home you should be expected to follow some house rules. If that is not something you can do you can always go get your own place. Just remember, you are responsible for yourself if you go outside of house rules and will also have to deal with the circumstances of your mistakes, such as an unplanned pregnancy. I'm doubting you are able to do that. So until you can fend for yourself you are bound by the rules of the house. When a parent babies a kid it is because they don't think you are mature enough to handle things on your own responsibly.

[Changiis07]

Parents no matter what age you are will always be overprotective. They say parents who love their children discipline them just as the Lord our God disciplines us and gives enough and not more. I am 32 and my mom still worries till this day. If this guys really likes you and is for you he will understand. If not then he isn't the right one because he needs to also understand that as long as you are living under your parents roof and rent free there will be rules.

[RHK36]

It sucks that you were dealt that situation, but at least your parents give enough fucks about you to be over protective. The opposite is they let you do whatever and you get into all sorts of trouble. If you don't like it, it's time to move out. Then they'll have no say on how to live your life. You can't make demands from people that are basically taking care of you. Baby bird doesn't wanna get treated like a baby then fly the nest.

[Asker]

I wish I could move out but like it’s not going to be possible lately with covid and them trying to still make time as being my parents which they lost long time ago

[RHK36]

Their house their rules. Sucks, but it's true. It's not impossible, but you probably see it that way because it would be very hard and out of your comfort zone.

[Curmudgeon]

OK, it is time to figure out ways to leave the proverbial nest and get out on your own. Make academic and economic plans to escape.

If, for the time being, that is just not possible, then figure out ways to not be at the house all that much. Camp out in the library studying, or at a job working. Your parents can't find fault with you for that.

Remember: They can't pick on you if you are not around them.

[Anonymous]

You are very beautiful and guys will take advantage. The world is kind of a mean and scary place.

[Asker]

Aww thank you
I understand that but I can’t hide away from it my whole life I have to be fearless and know how to protect myself

[chriscdi]

they are very protective, i think you should try speaking for yourself and tell them how you feel

[Asker]

Thank you I’ll try find a way to speak up about it

[chriscdi]

💯💯

[JuliaStyles]

Or, they know something we don't, like maybe a past pregnancy. The only reason a parent babies their kid is because they don't trust them and afraid they may do something that will hurt them self.

[chriscdi]

i guess its possible but i dont think this is the situation here tho

[Asker]

Yea it isn’t the case here, I’ve hurt myself before and my mom just tended to ignore

[chriscdi]

see told ya

[AmeerX]

Stop thinking like that. They're doing it for your own good

[Asker]

Do you think my mom slut shaming me is for my own good?

[AmeerX]

I don't know how is your relationship with your parents. But I can tell you this, respect them, they gave birth to you, fed you, cloth you. It is alright if they sometimes get harsh on you.

So, just please don't feel they are being too hard on you.
I think they are doing it for your own good

[devil_8888]

Time to move out and show them that you are not a baby anymore.

[Asker]

The thing is I would love to move out but I can’t afford to and I don’t my parents would allow me anyways🤷🏼‍♀️

[GAGSucksBalls1]

You're 18, but you still live under their roof. Until you start paying rent, then can treat you like a child still

[Aiko_E_Lara]

If you're 18, you now have the rights to actually move out. Perhaps they don't see the maturity in you yet.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

If you know what is right or wrong or if you are morals, it's time to show them you can be trusted.

[In_Trance]

If you wanna be treated like an adult, do adult things

[Iamcoming]

Because they are parents.

[Jmmmfi4]

the wifi thing is pretty ridiculous