Children being objectively genderless in reality, and the question of how to handle gender roles/stereotypes with kids are two completely separate things that I think are being conflated here.
I don't think parents should force their children into either the roles/stereotypes of the gender they were born with, or that of the opposite gender (like some woke parents are now doing). Simply let them be who they want to be. And it often has nothing to do with what their actual gender is. If you have a girl, and she likes "boy things", she's a tomboy. And tomboys are just that, tomboys. They aren't necessarily trans (and aren't in most cases), and we shouldn't be so quick to thrust that upon them at the first sign of non-conformity.
But just because we recognize that some kids don't want to conform to all of the stereotypes of their gender doesn't mean that we need to raise all children in a completely gender-neutral manner. I think it is perfectly fine to raise your kids according to the gender they were born with, unless they display any signs of not wanting that, because the vast majority of kids are going to grow up to be cisgender and heterosexual, and constantly stressing gender-neutrality for those kids, when they've never identified with anything other than the gender they were born with, themselves, can actually be harmful to those kids by unnecessarily confusing them.
So, raising your kids as the gender they're born as should be the default, but if they start breaking out of those gender roles, don't force them to conform.
Anybody who actually has kids knows that they're not.
I have sons and daughters. First two were boys, the other two girls. Daughters are very different to sons, before the point that they can be influenced by anything.
The boys were obsessed with cars and building things, climbing everything, rough and tumble play, really boisterous. They weren't bothered about fluffy animal toys or anything like that. They weren't that expressive, I mean they'd be running around playing and they'd want to play with you but like they weren't interested in talking, just making noise. They were feral.
The girls are obsessed with the animal toys, babies, playing with the kitchen, pretending to make food and eat it/give you some. They're not as boisterous, much more soft, they're a lot more expressive. Always trying to talk to you or make you laugh from a much younger age.
All of the toys have always been there, we let them choose what they want to play with. Maybe the boys will sometimes wanna play with the kitchen, or the girls will want to play with the cars, but most of the time they tend to stick with what a typical boy/girl would play with all by themselves.
When I see these gender-neutral parents because I know some, what I actually see is that they have to directly influence their children to be gender-neutral, that's what I see being pushed more today.
Say for example they're playing dress up and they're given a choice between a Buzz Lightyear costume and a dress, they'll try their best to get the boy to wear the dress. It's weird to me. One of the parents once tried to for example encourage my son when he was about 2 or 3 to play with a baby with a pram. He picked the baby up, threw it on the floor and pushed the pram around while making car noises, quickly got bored and went to play with something else.
Well firstly we didn't have them watch TV much. Whenever they did they watched the same stuff anyway. When you want them to sit and chill before bed you have to put on something they all like to watch otherwise you get tantrums.
When you give them real freedom of choice this is what happens:
Maybe instead of "pushing" anything, we should just stop raising children as one thing or the other. If you want to call them by their sex (male/female) that's fine - what's not fine is telling them that they can't play with certain gendered toys, wear certain gendered colours, or put pressure on them to adhere to atypical gendered traits.
This doesn't mean we'll make alien children - lots of girls will still "act like girls," lots of boys will still "act like boys," and another percentage will take a different route. The goal isn't to eliminate gender, it's to remove the idea that your gender defines you.
perfectly said!, as a boy at primary school I would have loved to wear a cool cotton school dress in the summer, instead we had to wear terylene shorts, and a shirt with a tie,,,
Nah kids are born into the body that God gave them and should learn to except themselves for who they are. But I do agree that there should be more gender neutral items at stores so kids can all play with them same things.
No wonder more and more kids are being homeschooled so they don't have to be fed this shit at school... You know they tried this with a child. They botched a circumcision on a boy and they could not fix their fuck up turned the child into a girl with the whole sex change etc... Now they wondered if they could turn a human who was born a boy with penis etc to adopt female traits and habits. So they started to dress the child in girl cloths and skirts etc... However the child always wanted to play with boy's toys trucks, etc... the monster child never wanted to play with other girls she never wanted to play with dolls. Eventually the kid found out what they did to him as he was their sick science project.
So this idea that you can force a child to be a sex is stupid. Take these progressive leftists and put them in the grave with a bullet in the brain... We don't need these mentally ill people seed children with the idea that it's ok for a boy to be a girl and a girl to be a boy.
My son has chosen his own toys from a range of options. He leads play with me. 99% of the time he wants to wrestle, play swords with the sticks he finds, be a daddy dinosaur (his words). Very occasionally he puts a bracelet on his head and says "I'm a beautiful queen!" then shakes his head so the "crown" flies off and runs off laughing. He loves to dance.
He chooses games traditionally boys play. We don't push him. We ask him what he wants to do. He'll read, sing, and attack me. All while declaring he's the king of the dinosaurs!
He's 2. I don't think he understands gender as such yet. He definitely has a latent instinct that is decidedly masculine.
Anyone tries to "help" him be anything other than himself or tell him he's not a "real" boy because he loves to dance can talk to me while I use the muscles I developed as a male ballet dancer to kick their ass.
Gender should be something we grow into. Self-determination works with profession, personality, conduct, and so forth... why do we still encourage our kids to play with a truck and grimace if our son picks the doll?
Growing up, I was always playing with dolls and loved fashion and clothing. My parents loved me and accepted me, and I had the most amazing childhood I could have asked for.
And for the record, to the non-believing skeptics out there, I'm a cisgendered white dude with an exclusive attraction to women. So there's that.
Kids are born as a girl, or as a boy. They may be unaware - but they aren't neutral. Before we irritate or confuse them with what adults believe is a (necessary?) gender-discussion it is a lot more helpful to offer them ways to grow into their original = biologically intended gender identity. Its not 'pushing' but rather a responsible parenting procedure. Which of course does not mean that girls only play Barbie, and boys only play with battle tanks. There is an abundance of 'neutral' toys anyway. To let 'kids be kids' it does not require to implant our own thoughts on them in the toy sections: just let them rummage around.
When you push masculine or feminine traits onto children they grow up to be snowflakes However when people grow up to normal childhoods they can choose what they want like man, woman, gay, straight at a time which is right and natural I hate seeing people claiming to be both man and woman and having a different partner for each one and also claiming to be a cat on the weekends
To me children have latent gender identity, meaning they are genetically primed for certain relational habits and sexual expressions but those traits do not manifest until they are mentally and biologically capable of producing healthy and fully developed babies in their fetus and sperm dispensation and before they reach biological maturity, their sexual nature is muted out and submerged in chaste preoccupations.
I agree with you to an extent children aren't gender neutral they decide what they want to be but I don't think it's good to force gender stereotypes on kids
I don't believe kids are gender neutral, but don't believe in enforcing stereotypes, I'd love to see, for example, dresses in the boy's clothing section, and combat trousers in the girl's section,,, maybe pink combat trousers in the boy's section lol,,,
I let my kids be who they want. They get the toys and clothes they decide they want 🤷♀️ There are some stores with gender neutral sections where I love which is cool
Gender neutral has a certain gender political tone to it that won't hit right with others. But yes boys can like playing with GI Joe just as much as a girl. The separation on that part never had to happen. Of all the changes people want, this makes the most sense. At the same time why can't they just say one side's feminin and mone side's masculine. doesn't have to change too much. The whole bathroom bullshit though. Thats different.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
no children are not gender natural. my aunt has run a daycare for more than 20 years. it was 2 blocks from where i lived and i worked there a lot growing up. the difference between the behavior of most girls and most boys is so crystal clear. anyone who thinks they are gender neutral is a moron
unisex is fine when in retail for things like accessories (gloves, hats, belts), but i wouldn't say dressing someone a certain way will effect anything. they will decide one day anyways so dress them appropriately by their gender
Pretty sure chemicals in the body usually determine the gender, also during purberty, guessing there's areas that u can clearly see if its male or female.
Yes, they are. Until we show them the toys that they should play with, the clothes that they should wear etc. People are not born with innate preferences for guns or for dolls.
