How do I deal with feeling like the the less attractive friend?

[Anonymous]

I have a really beautiful best friend. And I love her to death, I couldn’t say anything bad about her. But lately when I’m next to her I feel invisible. I never felt like this before around her because we were always so balanced. We’d get hit on equally, if we hung out with groups of people we always had people to talk to, etc. And our looks are definitely on a very different scale which is why we were always so balanced, (I’m 5’6 with straight hair and a curvy body while she’s 5’3 with curly hair and also a curvy body).

Well, lately when I’m with her i feel invisible. I don’t want this feeling to get in the way of our friendship because i know she loves me and i love her. But it’s just a hard feeling to cope with. she’s short, beautiful, has a great personality, has her life together, etc., and I’m tall, shy, don’t have my life together right now.

I’ve been trying to tell myself that it’s just not my time and she’s shining right now because it’s definitely her time. But I don't know, she makes me feel like the less attractive friend these days. And the biggest thing is that she makes me feel like I’m not loved enough. She has so many people who love her so much and talk so highly of her, and i compare the number to mine and i feel like i don’t have anyone but like 3 people including her.

I don’t mean to compare but it’s hard not to. We went from being balance to her outshining me in ever possible way. And I know this sounds like jealousy but it’s not, I’m happy for her considering that she has come a long way. I just need some words of wisdom for the dark cloud hanging over my head.

Another example of what I’m feeling is this: recently, I had a birthday dinner and invited different groups of my friends. All of my guy friends were just flirting and competing to get her attention and they were saying things like “how does it feel to be the most beautiful girl here” etc. I felt so invisible. At my own birthday.

[Changiis07]

I get it, I feel like we all go through this. There are many beautiful woman and honestly it is hard not to compare ourselves. I say just be grateful you both have a good friendship. It is so hard to vibe with someone so if you have a good friend like her cherish her. Also yes try not to compare yourself too much with her. Know that we are all beautiful in our own way and also God made us all beautiful in his own image. Try doing things that make you feel better/ good about yourself like get your nails done, new haircut, clothes.

[Asker]

Thank you so much I just needed to hear it from someone else 💕

[Changiis07]

Of course! Embrace your own beauty :)

[Grond21]

Okay, two things. The first is that your experiences are genuine and I can definitely understand how frustrated you must feel. How invisible and how like you are somehow less loved. However, and this is the second point, it is extremely toxic to put the blame on her. If you do that then you have already put your friendship on the path of destruction. If you feel like she causes this, if you feel like she does this, if you feel like it because of her then you have introduced a cancerous jealousy into your friendship.

The better path, and also the more difficult one, is to take all the responsibility on yourself. Not for how other people behave but for how you present yourself. If you're presenting a facade of standoffishness, insecurity, and an unwillingness to flirt or connect, then you will be presenting an image that will not be attractive in the way you want to be. So if you can work on that, you can fix the dynamic

[bestfriend69]

You're beautiful as fuck 😍 I don't understand why is feel so low about yourself.

[Marianna145]

Don't feel this way even if it is hard just try not to think about it... If you really want to you can discuss this with her an hear her out... Maybe you are just overanalyzing it, i am sure you are just as pretty!

[Anonymous]

being together all the time dec dec prevent you from taking time for yourself, put some distance between you.