Is it acceptable to befriend a girl who has a boyfriend?

Question

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

This is often what losers do. And I'll explain.

A wise G@G user once saying that heterosexual guys who befriend girls, who already are in a relationship, are often losers who cannot get their own romantic relationship and therefore choose to leech off of the backs of people who are involved in their own relationships. They do this if it means avoiding being (completely) disconnected from the opposite sex.

And frankly, I agree with him 100%. I've made a Take on why men and women can rarely be platonic friends which for anyone who is interested can read it here:
Why it’s almost impossible for men and women to be “just friends”

As mentioned in my Take, the reality is that way too many guys want more than just friendship. This has lead to problems for MANY people who are already in a relationship. If you are the type of person who "befriends" someone in hope it becoming something more down the line, then you're exactly the type why so many people have issues with their significant others having 'friends' of the opposite sex. And you should better stay away.

Self-respecting men with options aren't going to waste their time "befriending" women who are in relationships if they want to get to with them.

EmbraceThePain · Accepted Answer

No, I don’t think it’s practical or realistic.

Evolutionarily speaking, there’s all sorts of reasons why men and women platonic friendships haven’t and don’t currently workout in the end.

It’s best to keep things polite between you two, but I wouldn’t befriend a woman who has a boyfriend since I don’t see the reason for such a thing.

A straight man befriending a woman who is in a relationship, where her boyfriend is effectively her best friend.

Do you find her attractive at all?
Could something intimate form in the future?

These are a few questions to consider and a few to wonder as to whether or not truly platonic friendships amongst heterosexual men and women do exist or can exist under normal circumstances.

desidoll · Accepted Answer

Yes, but do not step the boundary like most guys do. This is what I have experienced where I have to distance myself from some of my guy “friends” who pretended to be nice at first.

PrettyPriya · Accepted Answer

Yeah. Girls with boyfriends are allowed to have guy friends.

MCheetah · Answer

Kinda. It really kinda just makes you come off like a cuck if you do. Maybe only if you both have partners. Otherwise it's clear she's using you. You'd be doing all the negative boyfriend stuff without any of the boyfriend benefits. There's no reason for anyone to make opposite gender friends if they're already dating someone.

I guess it's different for everyone but for me, I strongly avoid befriending someone if they're already dating someone. Although my female friend and male friend back home ended up dating each other, and as much as I was against the idea and how it'd ruin our friendship, even I can't deny how natural the chemistry was there. It's like they were made for each other, even though I hated becoming the third wheel as I was her friend first. Last month, the guy told me they're engaged to be married now.

Datboi65 · Answer

I know why you're asking that question. The answer is HELL TO THE NO. So check this out, there was a dude who made a video of himself having this very argument with his girl and told her to call her best male friend and tell him she wants him to smash. The dude first asked if it was a prank, and then when she told him that it wasn't, he didn't hesitate to say that he was down. If you want to be a girl's friend that has a boyfriend, you are probably doing so in hopes that you will replace him one day, which I don't advice you to. Would you want someone to damo that to your girl? Nope. Then stay away.

Twalli · Answer

Yeah, there's actually a girl on here I'd love to be friends with. Yet even if she was married or had a boyfriend my desire to be her friend would be unchanged. I already know we don't jive romantically. We have some of the same views but she wants kids, she doesn't really like pets, my nickname is one of her deal breaker names, and I don't think we're each other's types physically (I'm not her type, but I don't know if she's mine). So I would gladly befriend her regardless of her relationships because we both know that nothing sexual could ever happen with us. So I see no downside, I like her as a person and I think we'd have a lot of fun together.

Anonymous · Answer

It depends on her boyfriend and on the girl herself, some girls would say no because she don't wanna make her boyfriend mad or jealous, me as a boyfriend i don't like to see guys around my girl, i trust in my girl that she won't cheat on me but as a man i don't like any other guy try to get in our life and act that i'm just a friendly guy but he just wanna make us break up because he has a crush on my girl, you don't know who can trust in these situations, specially when you love your girl and you wanna marry her in the end, i know i'm a jealous boyfriend but that's the normal thing, have you ever seen a lion letting his wife to go and be with another male?

ManOnFire · Answer

I think it depends. I usually don't even have friendships with women who are already in a relationship, most times that just doesn't really work for me but there are special situations of course, like if the woman is older than me and already married. That doesn't bother me at all.

But I mostly prefer to be friends with women who are single, not because of the possibility that sex can happen but because it feels more appropriate to me.

Moose304 · Answer

I have MANY friends who are females. MOST are married. I just am not as close to them as I am to my male friends. Before covid, some of us would go hang out at a sports bar and have fun. I will sit and listen to a male tell me things that I would never let a female do. You have to respect proper boundaries. Don't send messages that conflict and for gosh sake have some respect for the relationship they are in.

globetrotter22 · Answer

For what purpose?

If you feel no attraction towards her then it’s perfectly fine. But if your interested there is no way this will end well. By default you are (rightfully) friéndzoned. However if she likes you too and decides to cheat with you then are both scumbags. If she will cheat on her boyfriend she will cheat on you by the way.

If you are interested just stay friendly but not friends. There is a difference.

designer1 · Answer

Depends on ur intentions and self control. Some people have no boundaries when it comes to respecting relationships. If you think you could cross the line than I’d say no it’s not acceptable in my opinion.

Paul09 · Answer

Weak minded people will say no. I say, yes, it is possible to be just friends. As long as you're not trying to get with her. But people are jealous and selfish. Did she ask You, or You are asking her? We are all suppose to be grown ass adults. Maybe we should act like it.

Sincerly_KittyCat · Answer

Sure its okay, ONLY if you have the motive to JUST BE FRIENDS and be able to respect both her and her spouse's boundaries.

alexses · Answer

Yeah, that doesn’t sound bad or wrong. In a friendship between guy and girl there are so many useful and positive things to talk about or live together, even if without having sex together.
If she is a good friend she can also give him good advices and help him get to introduce the most suitable girl for him!

SmokyOne · Answer

Depends on your intention I suppose.
If your intention is to genuinely be friends and if you catch feelings you cut yourself off then that's fine.

If your intent is to fuck up their relationship at the slim chance you can be her rebound fuck then no it isn't acceptable.

KatieB713 · Answer

As long as you don't cross any boundaries, go for it... there is nothing wrong with being friends with someone with a partner, friends are nice

_lost_soul_ · Answer

That really depends... are you interested in her or feel she might be interested in you? I truly believe men and women weren't meant to be just friends. Not to say there aren't men out there with female friends, but it's not uncommon for male and female friends to become fond of one another. Personally I don't have many or any female friends for that exact reason.

CherryK · Answer

Yes. I had guy friends after i was in a relationship and it was the best thing. Cherished the memories and laughs with those guys. And no romantic feelings!

InYourHead · Answer

Most of my friends are guys and I have a boyfriend so I think it's fine

godfatherfan · Answer

ahhhhhh... common now. As a guy, you know damn well men don't have women friends. We have women "friends". Women we are friendly to. Very big difference. The answer is a big NO.
Ladies, stop thinking you have men friends.

Mofunfour20 · Answer

No, never. You have nothing to gain unless she likes you more than a friend. Even then it's a waste of time. Why would you try to rationalize putting yourself in the friendzone? I don't see the point but maybe you can elaborate.

TheorionMage · Answer

Ask yourself HONESTLY... do you want platonic 'friendship' or are you sniffing around seeking to find a way to undermine her PRESENT boyfriend? You're only 'bullshitting' yourself--- ; )

Danish87 · Answer

If you don't like that girl, or having attraction toward her it's fine to be her friend.
Else don't go for it, you will be like gutter where she will only flush her sad emotions she had because if her boyfriend.

Citizenkirk · Answer

Yes, it's acceptable. Girls are human beings, not cocker spaniels.

HighValue · Answer

No. If she is in a relationship and trying to make new opposite gender friends she is either already a cheater, or intends to cheat and is seeing what options she has.

Tiptoetamm · Answer

Yes I have many guy friends I get along better with men for some reason I do have a few girlfriends but a handful that's it lol

Dinklex3 · Answer

As long as your intention is to just be her friend, it's fine.  My best friend has a girl friend, my other bestie is about to be engaged.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Are you genuinely trying to be only a platonic friend or are you wishing for more? Be honest with yourself.

Jay3344 · Answer

Yes, but depending on the guy and girl, there may be jealousy or insecurity or possessiveness or whatever. But I have a few girls that are friends despite having boyfriends. People can be friends regardless of relationship

clouuuud · Answer

Yes as long as you don't cross the friendship line.

Voodoo69 · Answer

Respect her relationship with her man. Respect her man. Don’t do to someone what you don’t want to be done to you.

Nagahime · Answer

As long as you're not trying to hit on her or ruin their relationship, then go ahead.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

I wouldn't. You might be able to get away with it in school, but not as an adult. Regardless of your intentions it’s going to be taken the wrong way.

sheikalana · Answer

Of course as long your intentions are purely and solely based on a friendship.

exitseven · Answer

It is okay. Even if you are waiting until the relationship ends so you can have a relationship with her.

RedStiletto88 · Answer

You can but please don’t even think about trying to replace her boyfriend.

Valso · Answer

Why not? I've been there before. Naturally he got a little nervous about it but I told him I had no interest in her in the way he thought, so he stopped making a problem of it.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

Nope, don't trap them in the friend zone as backups. That's just wrong.

davidst123 · Answer

yeah, control your feeling. keep her in the friends zone.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yeah. Just don't give her any ideas. And remain professional. Stay on the sidewalk. Don't cross the fence.

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

For you to ask this I'm going to say no. If you have to ask this it shows your intentions aren't pure.

Kabluie · Answer

Yes, friends of opposite sex is always a good idea.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I think so as long as you don’t overstep boundaries.

ragooo8 · Answer

Yes but not in a predatory way to cause trouble between her and her man.

AdithyaR · Answer

As long you're only maintaining a friendship then yeah totally fine.

Anonymous · Answer

There's no problem with that, just don't try to mess with the relationship

Jingi18 · Answer

Probably you and at least 10 other people waiting on line if she’s hot. Don’t waste your time. If a girl wants you, she’ll find away to make it happen.

pretty_bad · Answer

Of course as long as you're gonna respect that she's in a relationship

Wise4myage · Answer

I think It can be but boundaries might have to be set.

onlylonelygal · Answer

For me it would have to depend on how close they are

zagor · Answer

When I first read this I thought it said "behead". Since it wasn't, yes, it is OK.

Melanin_royalty · Answer

If you're trying to actually be her friend not a dirty little whore then there should be no issue tbh

red324 · Answer

Most girls won't be friends with a guy if they have a boyfriend.

larry69 · Answer

No once a woman is in a relationship then all men need to back off.

chulo1992 · Answer

There nothing wrong with that as long as the respect is there and there are no hidden agendas

BaldAvenger · Answer

Yes. As long as boundaries are clear and you heed Eminem's advice, it should be fine.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

For me, it's not wise; but then again, I'm not very fortunate with women.

cookiecrusher · Answer

For some reason i think you would like to switch places with that other guy.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Tricky. The dude may not like that unless he is cool with you.

dragoblack · Answer

Yes, it's fine. You're being her friend, not some dude trying to get in her pants.

Daniela1982 · Answer

No! Mind your own business.

R0semary · Answer

Of course as long as you respect their relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

Girls seem to have too many guy friends, if she breaks up with her boyfriend, there's another guy next in line.

Is it acceptable to befriend a girl who has a boyfriend?

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