Why is my father more concern about my relationship progressing than my mother?

[Anonymous]

Even though my parents gets along with my current boyfriend of 4 months, both think differently.

My mother is happy that we're holding hands, hugging, he gave me a Sunflower once and he likes taking me to good places; unlike my ex boyfriend she hated. My father isn't convinced easily and voiced his opinion recently. To him, holding hands and doing gestures is good but means nothing if it's not followed by actions and his promise to start a family next year. Basically my father is telling me to not waste too much time in the dating and ''oh butterflies in my stomach'' stage (I can't afford another 4+ years) and to the point. His own words were ''While that doesn't happen, there is nothing to celebrate. You're not winning yet''.

My father seems more concern about the timing than my mother. The only way to get my father totally convinced is if he proceeds with what he promised. Why is my father more worried and straight forward than my mother?

[20yearsolder]

Maybe your father wants you out of the house? You are his baby girl, he doesn't want to see you hurt again. But I don't know why you rush a relationship, that can do as bad as staying in a relationship that doesn't work out. Take it as slow or as fast as you feel comfortable. Not what your father wants. You're the one that has to live with your decisions.

[Asker]

I want to have kids too and unfortunately he's right. I don't have too much time.

[20yearsolder]

That's no reason to settle for a man, do you want to raise your children with the wrong guy?

[Asker]

I like him a lot and we have many common interest. I'm going to see how the relationship progresses. I guess if things are meant to be then it'll happen.

[20yearsolder]

Yeah just don't do it because your father wants to rush you. Good luck

[Shamalien]

men are generally more rooted in reality than women. He’s speaking truth, you aren’t winning yet so don’t waste time getting excited

[Asker]

yeah he was applying pure logic to it. During my youthful years (I was then 17-18 years old), my father was once watching a virgin club show. He had a smile in his face, as if being proud. It was about very young girl waiting till marriage. He father said something like ''This might interest you. Wait till marriage, it's the best option for you. Trust me. I know what I'm saying, wait''.

Being stubborn and too concentrated on this ''equality and liberalism'' bs, I didn't listen to him. Within me I thought ''lol, so outdated... why can I go on dates and then lost it in a relationship; then if it doesn't work, I'll seek another boyfriend... if guys can do that so can I. Many years later I had nothing more to tell him other than ''you were right the whole time, that was the right route long ago'. While I thought he was outdated, he was actually trying to look for my best interest, for me to have the best deal, for me to win and not go throught what's happening now.

[Asker]

With my previous ex boyfriend, my father warned me about that too. He told me ''dump him, you're wasting your time with him. He ain't ever gonna put that ring on you.''

He's right on almost everything he predicted it's not going to work out. It turns out true.

[Shamalien]

Well at least you came to your senses at some point lol

[UpdateGloomyNights_]

You have smart dad