Why is my mom associating with my dad a lot more lately?

[crazycactus242]

My parents are separated, they’ve been in the process of divorcing for about a year and a half. My dad was incredibly toxic and completely just stopped truly caring about my family. Long story short, he was a very narcissistic parent. I do not talk to him or text him at all because I choose not to, he’s not a good man. My mom never really associated with my dad either, unless it was in regards to the divorce or if he was taking my younger siblings that weekend. That was it. But this past month she has been doing more kind acts for him that I know she would’ve never done even a few months ago. She’s been making him dinner to take back to his home every few days or weeks or so. She baked some banana bread the other night and gave him some to take home. I bought my grad dress last week because I’m graduating high school this year, and my mom was texting my dad and showing him. She’s been giving him more family updates too and she’s been acting so nice to him. Why is this happening all of a sudden? It’s really bothering me that out of the blue she would kindly associate with him.

[kyleelyn199723]

I know your dad may be a piece of crap, but your parents had a life before you. They dated, got married , and then they had a kid together. It is very very hard not to have love for someone that gave you all that. Trust me, I question my dads actions all the time even though my mother was not a good mother. Maybe your mother feels guilt even and feels bad. Abusive relationships always end in this cycle where the victim feels guilt, love and feels sorry.

[CoolGuy7532]

She probably misses having a husband. She might think the divorce process has not been amicable enough and is trying to make up for it. She may also feel differently in some way. That could be influenced by her realizing that you will be finishing high school and becoming an adult. It may influence her mental image of the family unit.

[abc3643]

You need to discuss this with your mother, not us. You tell her what you just told us - that you have detected a change in her behavior and were wondering the reason.

At that point, she will come clean about what is happening between them - which may be a reconciliation.

[abc3643]

>>> This is not "out of the blue".
NOTHING is out of the blue.

[Bismarck_96]

First off congrats on graduating

Well my thoughts about this is that maybe she has forgiven your father and is trying to go back to build a family but in a good way

Or she's trying to convince your father to go to your graduation and hopefully he be proud of you

[Anonymous]

because people change. Maybe he's been showing more interest in being a part of your family's life. Maybe your mom recognized he's "trying" and has had enough time to think about things, and still has some amount of feelings for him.

[LegendaryIcon]

divorced people, can still talk, they likely have to, he's likely paying child support etc..

[Oh-canada]

Who knows. Parents can be strange. Or at least we think they are. Ask your mom. She has her reasons for it. That’s too bad about your dad. I know you have your reasons but it’s the only parents you will ever have.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps they are talking about getting back together.