Do you have a character trait, that bothers people who know you?

[Msputiton]

For me. I am extremely laid back, and very rarely get in my feelings. It can come off as cold.

It can bother my friends and family, sometimes because it comes off, like idc about the situation.

Ex: friend confides a problem to me, and my answer would be either,

oh ok.

Oh wow.

Or

Fashoo, cuhh.

Or they will just get a slow nod.

They don't think igaf, truth is i don't think they need to hear me act all worked up or act shocked, they already upset, why make them feel worse?

And if they don't directly me for advice I'm not giving it.

Which also makes them feel like I'm not interested

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

I have a few that come to my mind lol. I am indecisive, a people pleaser, and anxious. Those are my 3 character traits that bother people. It all stems from anxiety, but it kinda separates into different character traits, if that makes sense.

My anxiety is something that people are not always understanding of, which I totally get because not everyone will understand anxiety if they don’t experience it. My anxiety always makes me avoid situations that I know will make me anxious, which prevents me from doing a lot of things or being somewhat independent and confrontational. People absolutely hate that I just won’t have the gall to do certain things myself or if I avoid situations, and it bothers them.

Since I have anxiety about confrontation, I always try to people please. If something bothers me, I won’t even mention it, I just suck it up and deal with it because I want to make others happy. I will go out of my way to try and help others, and sometimes I won’t say no to things. People have told me that I need to put up boundaries so people don’t walk all over me. It ends up bothering other people because they can’t understand why I don’t stick up for myself or simply do things for myself rather than others.

I am a people pleaser like I said, so making decisions that involve other people makes it 10x more difficult for me to decide because I want to make the other person happy. I am just indecisive as shit. If something is solely my decision and doesn’t involve considering other people, it's easier to decide, but I will consult other people for second opinions on what I should do. This bothers people because some people don’t want me to keep considering other people in such small decisions lol.

[Msputiton]

I can understand all 3 of them.
It makes sense how your anxiety can cause that

[Anonymous]

Apparently I have one that really bothers my mom. When I'm with family, and they compliment me, I'll jokingly take the compliment to the extreme, like, "oh my gosh, thank you so much, I am rather intelligent, so glad you noticed and were able to adequately praise me for it." The thing is, everyone knows I'm not full of myself like that, and they laugh as part of the ongoing bit, but my mom takes it soooo seriously. She has pulled me aside and been like you just over do this thing and it's not a good look. You shouldn't go overboard when people give you simple compliments. Just say thank you and move on. Well, the fact that this bothers her so much is the source of my absolute amusement, so I have not stopped and she's always texting me later, like, please stop that!!!!

[ohshee]

We are twins I'm the exact same way I would be working a friend of mine would stop by my job introduce me to somebody and I'm working and they're trying to communicate and I'm trying to work cuz I want out of there and they walk away with the impression that I'm just cold Moody stupid guy and then I might run into that person that they introduced me to two weeks a month down the road and I'll start talking and they're kind of cold and as we talked they're just looking deep into my eyes and you're saying you're actually a nice guy and I will say what do you mean and it will say well when I was introduced to you you were just like snobbish you are cold and I will say no I was at work and I'm trying to get my job done I'm on deadlines and my friends know not to bring anybody to my job that's crazy and you know I apologize I didn't take 5 minutes to talk to them but if I could have I would have the most people see me when they first meet me they think I'm a cold-hearted dick but when I'm out of my work clothes and I'm not working they see me as a whole different completed person and I probably m really I'm not but LOL with my job I'm committed I'm in the zone if I'm doing something important I'm committed I'm in the zone sometimes you can you know what I'm doing I will take a break sometimes I can't and if people can't understand that then oh well but I love it when somebody says you're cold hearted are your an asshole cuz my first answer is I am two. Stomp my feet LOL

[Msputiton]

Sounds like it

[Sonorous]

Yeah. I have a tendency to be direct. But not in an unnecessary way. For example, I don't go around calling people fat just because it's true. I'm only blunt when it comes to things that need to be said. And I consider it a 'need' when I believe that telling a lie or avoiding the truth will have a more negative outcome than knowing the truth.

But yeah, people tend to not like truths said plainly to them. They prefer it when things are tailored to their emotions. And I'm just not the type to do that. Which I'll admit, isn't ideal for strengthening social bonds... But because I value the truth more than anything else, it works for me. 🥂

[Sonorous]

And I've noticed that when I try to have a discussion with a more logical structure than most people do, the people around me (my family) get annoyed. For example, I might disagree with a family member and ask them to explain their reasoning for their conclusions. So we can get to the truth much faster than if we just argued. However, because they are highly emotional people, their goal is simply to express their emotions rather than to reach a peaceful compromise. So more conflict tends to happen. Then when I try to walk away because it's not going anywhere, I'm the bad guy.

[Msputiton]

Oh that just sounds like you are a good friend

[Sonorous]

Yeah I definitely try to be. I think I'm the type of person where my actions show my empathy more than my words do. Like I may not express how much I care about someone but then I may spend hours doing something that they will enjoy later. But it's mainly easy to do it because I used to be a people pleaser when I was younger.

[Msputiton]

Yeah. My momma is the same

[HighlyVolatile]

I'm an extreme extrovert and one who views formalities as barriers rather than aids to getting close to people and breaking down their personal barriers. It makes a lot of people uncomfortable. The ones who don't get uncomfortable with it end up becoming my best lifelong friends but I make the ones who aren't very uncomfortable.

I look at it like boxing. People new to boxing move away when they have jabs thrown at them. I tend to side-step and move inwards. I'm very empathetic though and highly tuned to reading body language; I can take hints better than most and some people even call me psychic.

Yet I like to attempt to break down people's comfort zones and boundaries when I spot a chance, and that's a divisive tactic.

[HighlyVolatile]

One of my close friends is a bartender who owns a small bar and is an astute judge of character from working over ten years at a bar 6+ days a week talking to everyone. I quick-sketched his picture one time at the bar:

But he told me one time that I'm like someone who has no fear or shame in bending over and showing my asshole to everyone. He considered it my best and worst quality. I'm one of the most extreme people out there on the openness side of the spectrum, and I'm always trying to get people to open up to me as much as I do to them.

[HighlyVolatile]

I tend to get really frustrated when people don't open up to me as much as I do and I tend to frustrate them with how open I am with respect to myself.

[HighlyVolatile]

Also maybe some people interpret my ridiculous levels of confidence as arrogance or ego. I don't think I'm too arrogant or egotistical (although a showboat at times). It doesn't come from my thought that I'm #1. I'd be the first to admit my flaws in a room. It comes from the fact that I don't mind my shortcomings too much. I seek to improve upon them here and there but I don't let that become social barriers in openly sharing everything about me with people and hoping they reciprocate.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

I have a lot of anxiety and I go way above and beyond to get certain people to like me, but by far the one that can annoy people is my sense of humor. I use it to lighten moods, but also as a way to deflect uncomfortable situations so sometimes when things need to be serious if I don't know what to say my auto pilot goes on and I try to lighten the mood.

It isn't always appreciated.

[Msputiton]

I don't do the inappropriate timing jokes
But i have inappropriate laughs.
If it's uncomfortable i will laugh, it's a nervous habit and people take it wrong

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Yeah and it's not even like it's meant to be rude, anxiety just kinda sucks..

[melanieeeB]

I immediately thought about my mom... mostly I know exactly what I want and already have it planned out/pictured in my head and I am stubborn about that.
My mom/aunt will come up with other ideas, that they find better and I'm immediately like No but then they will keep explaining their idea and I'm really going like "yeah, no... no... oke but no... mhmm no" and they're always mad at me for that.

[Msputiton]

Lmao. That annoys me.
My momma does that too.
Like why they think they gotta change our mind

[melanieeeB]

Omg 😂😂 and I have no idea, but I would be so surprised if they one day would just accept our ideas and would support us you know... that would be so weird

[NathanDavis]

yes, lol... when we argue or discuss, even when I am angry, I remain calm, keep my cool... I do not get agitated like some of them would, i do not raise my voice, I do not rant, I surely do not use my body language to impose or intimidate, and this has bothered many of the people close to me... lmao

[Msputiton]

Yup.
Same issue
I also laugh when things are awkward.
Not because i find it funny mostly a nervous habit

[NathanDavis]

lmfao... I was going to go there as well

I do not laugh, but I do ten to grin, or smile, smirk... it is just a subtle gesture that to me comes naturally, especially when someone insults me or threatens me, and many people see this as confrontational

one thing is true though, and my girlfriends would not like it much... when a girl is upset and has a mean face, I do find it adorable and endearing lmao, so I smile to it... but that doesn't help one bit

[Msputiton]

Yeah i once told someone about a traumatic event in my life and because i gave a smile and nervous laugh they thought i was lying.
But it just helped me speak about it.

[blissinanarchy1]

My hypervigilance. It often leads me to not pay attention to someone talking to me. I got PTSD, I've witnessed the murder of my boy Khalif. He was shot in the head right in front of me. Being from a bad neighborhood, I've always been extremely observant. Now even more so.

I don't really speak spontaneously. Conversation doesn't always flow naturally with me because more often than not, I think about what I'm about to say, which'll take a second or two longer than most people are used to, and around this area, as soon as one speaker's mouth is closed, another is opened.

[Apulu_Imback]

I laugh when I'm not supposed to LMAO 😂.

Actually my face is mostly blank. Like a stone face. I don't show much expression. When I cry then also my expression doesn't change. Just tears flow from my eyes silently. Only my laughs and smile and very big. And I can roast someone pretty bad. I'm a savage replier so yeah people gotta be careful with their words to me or they get embarrassed and roasted.

[roaring20sman]

@Apulu_Imback I’m the exact same way. I laughed all the time when I got in trouble and adults would always get mad at me but I just couldn’t control it. I still do it to this day lol

[Apulu_Imback]

@roaring20sman yeah for me too. I just give opposite reaction. Like when I'm supposed to laugh I will unintentionally glare at the person who cracked the joke and when someone like my friend would be in trouble then I will laugh crazy. My cousins say me bipolar sadist for this lmao.

[TheorionMage]

"Contextual insightfulness"
Being self-servingly curious and observant,
all my life I've tried to NEVER make the SAME bad experience TWICE.

"Those without (insightful) memory are doomed to repeat..."
BEFORE taking action, ask Oneself: "Have I encountered THIS (in a different guise) BEFORE?
'LOOK! BEFORE you leap~"

[Lionman95]

Haha same.
I either have moments where it seems like I don't care at all about a situation or I jump into the other extreme and make people feel like I care too much in a way that I can't leave an unsolved problem until it's solved.
It's a bit frustrating because there is no in between.

[ZackBan]

I used to have multiple personality issues that would bother people.
But moving out and living on my own mended most if not all of them.

Basically when you fully own who you are people tend to accept it no matter what it is.
That's not to say be arrogant about it, but simply don't focus on bothering others but rather on living the way you're comfortable.

[Birdlegs]

I struggle with empathy and caring about people and sometimes people call me a sociopath cuz I can’t empathize and sometimes I say things that could make me sound crazy, I’ve gotten good at faking it tho. Also I’m very up on keeping my appearance at all times so I’m known for constantly brushing and flossing my teeth and checking them after I eat and I look at myself in the mirror whenever possible mainly because I love looking at myself and people call me a narcissist for it.

[Prettygurl12]

Oh probably but no one has been so kind as to point it out 😂😂😂😂

If I had to guess it'd be that I seeminly lack empathy and I just exist, if that makes sense? Where others might go change a bunch of shit around I'm much more likely to adjust to my environment. Like the other day we got new uniforms at work and I'm not a fan but where others are making adjustments (which would be the logical thing to do) I'm just like, "Guess this is my life now. Gonna make it work." 😂😂😂

[lamaguy]

I sometimes wonder if I talk too much about stuff I find interesting


I only do that with my family though not anyone else hardly ever


Also yeah sometimes I don’t know how to react to a person telling me something other than saying cool or wow or whatever and I feel like I have been doing that more lately and I hope it’s not too much

[Yucy_Gluttony]

Me wanting to be alone. I can't be around big groups and I just want to go home. I can have fun with you at a bar with many people, but I can't have fun with you and other friends together, my BATTERY DRAINS TOO FAST. I would say no to invitations, and it looks like I don't care about them by saying no. I just hate groups!

[Moose304]

When needed I have the patience of JOB. When I can't see why I have zero patience. I tell things as I see them and won't waste 200 words when 20 will do the job. I am somebody that considers a good date to be some beer and maybe a game of darts. Oh, and I am that guy your Father always warned you about!

[jennifer_bloom]

I zone out or give half hearted efforts in social interaction cause I spend so much time occupied with my book ideas.

[Msputiton]

Yeah. That passion keeps your mind occupied

[dustybiker]

I’m a natural helper. If there is a problem or someone struggling I want to fix it. Can care too much if not checking myself.

[Msputiton]

Oh yeah. That can get annoying sometimes.
My momma forces herself on mi problems a little too much sometimes.
I wanna say. Damn momma go somewhere else wit that.
But i know better, than to say that to her🤫

[dustybiker]

lol It’s deeply rooted in love.

[Msputiton]

I know. And love her

[dustybiker]

Oh, I get that. The friction does help kids move out. The whole leaving the nest thing.

[whereismyjohnny]

I’m sensitive person. I literally grow up with people telling me “you are too sensitive” or “stop being so sensitive” 🥴

[Msputiton]

To me that's more annoying. We all respond differently and people should tell others how they should respond to a situation

[whereismyjohnny]

I used to think there is something wrong with me because of how many times I heard it 😅 The thing is, they used to say that when I tried to explain to them what they did or said hurt/upset me and instead of trying to see the point they would attack m with “you are too sensitive”. It used to upset me, but now I’m like “whatever you say” 😅

[Msputiton]

They the problem not you.
They can't handle criticism that someone doesn't find what they said was inappropriate

[Anonymous]

Kind of reminds me of me.
Sounds like you are perceived to lack an alertness of interest
Sounds like you lack the ability to express your words with emotion (any emotion)
Sounds like you are perceived to lack sincerity (in life or through text? I don't know)
There is something more too but I cannot think of it. At least that is what it sounds like. I don't know you though.

I know I was suppose to talk about me but I couldn't help myself.

[PortraitOfTerd]

i dont give a fuck bout nothing either, its not a bad thing at all, when so many sensitive little people getting worked up over stupid shit that dont even matter, it jus means ur more intelligent then most people. be proud of it, anyone who dont like it can kiss ur ass

[PortraitOfTerd]

its a good way to be honestly, i love chill people like that

[Jltakk]

I am very... adaptive to my environment. My charisma and mood is highly reflective of the harmony of the room. I maintain a photogenic smile the whole time, leading to those who are paying attention to wonder if I am really feeling what I am saying I'm feeling. If I am caught without my mask, I can imagine my blank stare and constant requests to repeat the question annoys others greatly.