Is mh fiance (28m) being blatantly disrespectful or am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

There are several instances where I (28f) thought my fiance (28m) was rude in his words. I've told him before how it makes me feel but it is a constant pattern. We have dated for 9 months and been engaged for one month. In the beginning stage of our relationship, he told me to "Speak up" while we were placing our order at a restaurant. He said it almost yelling. He also never says please or asks nicely when he tells me to do things. We could be in his room and he'll say "Turn on the AC." Recently he texted "Make reservations!" He was refererring to finding a venue for our reception, which I told I was on top of. We were out this weekend and my fiance pushed me back to keep me from walking forward. I looked at him and asked why he did that. He said "I don't want you to be walking too closely behind the people in front" he said irritatedly. I told him the push was surprisingly strong. He said "I didn't think it was." Last night while in bed he slapped my butt really hard to wake me up. He has never done something so intense to wake me. I expressed to him that it bothered me. He apologized "Sorry baby" while cuddling me. I doubt that it gor through his mind what it meant. I asked him if he would feel just as comfortable if I slapped his butt to wake him, he was silent. I joked "Well I will get you back." He said "Not if I retaliate." Is my fiance being blatantly disrespectful? Is it s character trait that is worth breaking up over?

[wheist9095]

I'm going to say this, it sounds like you shouldn't be engaged to this person. Yeah, if he's publicly disrespectful to you that's problematic. He doesn't need to simp over your every action, but you don't raise your voice at or shove around anybody You care about, especially someone you're trying to marry. Obviously it bothers you enough to get advice from strangers on the internet, so why will it may or may not be a breaking point for other people it sounds like it should be a breaking point for you.

[dudeinohio]

He is borderline abusive. Unfortunately, he will only get worse, once you are married.

Honestly, I'd terminate the relationship. Too much of a danger.