17 year old sister having relationship issues, this combined with my friends’ issues has made me more wary of relationships for like the first time?

[Anonymous]

So my sister is 17 and a junior and her boyfriend is 15 and a sophomore, I’m 18 and I just finished up my freshman year of college.

So my sister has had lots of drama relating to an ex best friend. This girl harassed my sister online on Instagram, and on there she told her to off herself, called her a certain c word, and threatened violence against her. The stupid brat is also a close friend of mine’s ex and she has told him to off himself through sockpuppet Instagram accounts, so yeah it was bad. My sister’s boyfriend was very good about the initial situation, despite his age.

However, this girl has two friends who my sister has to interact with daily who treat her awfully, and my sister’s boyfriend is “friends” with them (they make fun of him a lot according to my sister). So despite my sister’s pleas, he often ignores her to go talk to them during class.

So last week at school she talked to him about it, and he didn’t listen, so my sister left school early on Thursday, and she had a concert that night where he didn’t comfort her at all, instead, we watched him goof off with his friends from the crowd, which told my parents and I that she needs to kick him to the curb. So on Friday, my sister didn’t go to school again, and at the end of the day, they broke up, but then she wanted to talk to him, and they made up over FaceTime so she’s fine now but the can has been kicked down the road.

The last day is June 22 and I’m almost certain that they’ll be done for good by then. I just hate watching her get hurt, but this time, she made her bed she has to sleep in it.

Upon watching this, and some of my friends’ relationship woes back in college, I’m wary of relationships for now. I feel like I have to work on myself and I’m not up to getting my heart broken. The last time I had a girlfriend was in the fifth grade, and even at the age of 10 she broke my heart way back in March 2014, and even now, all these years later I don’t wanna do that again lol.

Updates

1 y

I ran out of space but I want to clarify that yes, I’m over my middle school relationship because obviously, it’s more that I remember that feeling and I just don’t need that right now, plus having nobody to answer to but me is kinda nice ngl

[LazerBean]

That is a poor judgement problem on your sister's part. Relationship only have stuff like that happen if you let them.

[Asker]

The problem is that her boyfriend is so young and is pretty awkward, so he doesn’t really understand some relationship etiquette. Dammit I was a mess when I was his age and even I would have known not to do this.

They’ve always been more like close friends who call themselves boyfriend and girlfriend, and for the first three months (February-May) I was happy for her but recently the red flags have come out and it’s clear and apparent that he isn’t ready for a relationship.

After last week my parents and I were in easy agreement about what she should do but she wasn’t ready to break it off. Then on Friday my mom called her out of school because she was too overwhelmed to go plus since it’s June not much is happening anymore academically. He texted her after school wondering where she was, they had an argument, broke up, a mutual friend mediated, then they agreed to FaceTime and made up. Can kicked down the road. Woof.

So now it’s midnight Monday and when in mere hours he does the same damn thing again and they have another argument, it won’t surprise me if they break up again. Like I said they still have two and a half weeks for this scenario to play out every day.

Maybe I’ll be wrong, but I doubt it, and if I’m right, hopefully she’ll learn her lesson. He is her first boyfriend plus she unfortunately doesn’t have a lot of friends at school anymore because of the drama, so it’s not surprising what’s happening.

[Asker]

I tried to mediate. His older sister just turned 20 and the two of us are coworkers at a retail store so we have had conversations about the drama the two of them have gotten into (specifically with the crazy ex best friend) and this time she didn’t want to get involved. That made me realize that I can’t be the overprotective older sibling anymore and she needs to handle this, especially this, on her own.

What upset me though was that on Thursday the only thing he told my sister was to tell me not to talk to his sister anymore, then left her to wallow in her misery. I could tell his sister wasn’t upset with me, and plus, we’re (technically) adults who work together and they aren’t. So yeah that should have been enough to tell her to break it off but I guess not.