Had money/education/career not been an issue in supporting at least one child, whats the youngest you would’ve liked to have become a parent?

[DizzyDesii]

I know financially/ideally, age 24/25 would’ve been perfect for me, but had all else been set at the time, I would’ve 100% liked to have started having kids at age 18. Thats when I felt mentally/emotionally ready.
Most of my classmates got married and had kids at that age. It’s honestly nice to see that a lot of them are still married and now on baby 3+. They honestly didn’t have the finances for baby one at the start but they went on to balance both the home and school life as they attended college at the same time as I did. Apparently they also chose a wiser major that pertained to their skills and now are supposedly living the dream. I don't know I still have hope I will too but I understand that I have to walk a different path to reach my goals.
#FeelFreeToList #BabyFever

[Starlight007]

I never want to have kids, for various reasons I'll add a link were I spoke a bit about it, Please do not be too hard on yourself about life choices, I think you know that being a parent is immensely difficult and like you said super expensive I have been seeing depressed, struggling parents around in my life so its important to be realistic about being a parent if ever you decide to be one because the grass is definitely not greener on the other side. If you have a kid you can never think about yourself any more, the kid has to always come first.

Yes parenting has its advantages but some people do not experience those advantages, there is a large number of people who had kids and then regretted their decision. I have seen some videos where Jordan Peterson Told a woman that she was talking to that because she choose her career over family then she may just regret her decision because as she gets older she'll feel lonely with no family. I looked at that videos and thought "Oh no now i gotta have a baby but i don't want one..."

But after thinking long and hard about it I realized that No one can ever tell you that you should have a baby, just because you have a partner or are biologically able to have kids does not mean that you should have them. What if you have kids one day and they, God forbid this, but they leave this world before you do? life is NEVER going to go the same way for us all many people have kids but they still experience loneliness as they get older!. We are too different as people to experience life situations the same way!.

So all you can do is realistically figure out what you want in life and stick to that but do know that you are going to struggle with what ever decision you take, but if you choose to do something that you really want then you'll manage to at least reap the benefits from that choice because it's what you wanted for yourself. After all we all reap what we sow!.

[Starlight007]

Do you want to have Human Kids one day? ↗

[DizzyDesii]

I absolutely know i want kids in life. Money isn't an issue but me debating between in vitro and waitinng to fall in love and get married is

[Starlight007]

oh so now you'll have to figure that part out, best of luck to you with it all and with what ever choice you decide to make 💗.

[Emiliamazing]

I don’t think I would have been emotionally ready in my teens at all. It would’ve been nice to have our first child before I hit my 30s though. I didn’t meet the man that I love and accepted as my husband until my late 20s, so I can say without a doubt that I’m glad I didn’t have any children before him because my life would be significantly different.
If we had met a little earlier, I think 27 or 28 would’ve been nice. I would’ve been done with my post graduate degree and we could’ve gone for it

[DizzyDesii]

Do you have kids now?

[Emiliamazing]

We have 3, we are just older parents😁

[DizzyDesii]

Still lucky :(

[Emiliamazing]

I appreciate the reminder, sometimes we need it :-). They are a mountain of work, and we certainly make plenty of mistakes and handling challenging situations with them, but we are fortunate. I know my husband has some family members that were never able to conceive, and we feel terrible for them.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i pray that i can

[Emiliamazing]

Unless there is family history within fertility, you should be fine at your age. My husband and I had to work through some fertility issues with our final child, but all went well.

[Emiliamazing]

*with infertility

[Emiliamazing]

Thank you for the MHO!

[ohshee]

Desi you're breaking my heart we need to make a plan for you I've been on here 6 to 7 years even the couple's that I know they want to have babies I have never felt anything come from somebody's heart so deep so honest long as I've answered your questions is this one with you I mean you don't know how bad that I want you to have a baby because I can feel it with every ounce of energy inside of you
I mean I was even going to suggest I come there give you a baby that would be a smartass answer and I'm not trying to be a smart-ass I'm for real I know you probably want your own baby but would you even consider adoption I mean for me personally I would have to have my own baby but I also wouldn't hold that against myself if I had to go a different route you have lots of love you have lots of passion you're a good person you be a good mother you're smart you're intelligent you're confident you need a baby

[DizzyDesii]

Aww thank you :) I told you I’m a girl who usually knows what she wants. I’ve wanted to be a mom since age 3 lol and I’m gonna keep working until the right person or possibilities come along for me to conceive. I’d love to have 1-2 biological children and adopt at least 1-2 after

[Loveisgirthy]

I get the hint of the fever sometimes. In an environment where money and career and education wasn't an issue I'd assume life's course would be more straight and narrow. I'd have an aspiration, work for the grade and money, and struggle constantly and more likely be married to some pastor's daughter by 21. We'd pop out a couple kids and yeah fairly simple life. And sometimes that sounds great but I still feel like I'd lost a lot of what I've learned without a bit of that. People get lost in cycles and I'll rather live far from that.

[DizzyDesii]

True

[KelleyNice]

18 is a very good age. You body is more flexible, fewer birth problems, and you have more stamina and energy to care for the baby.

[DizzyDesii]

Wow wasn't expecting an explanation that good haha. But yea if money at that age had not been an issue, i’d def have wanted that

[KelleyNice]

Throughout most of human history, young women had children at an earlier age. Religious scholars believe the Virgin Mary was 14 when she gave birth, a common age at the time. Shakespeare's Juliet was 2 weeks shy of her 14th birthday when her parents arraigned for her to marry and people were not shocked by her age. Joan of Arc was 16 when she was sued for breach of promise. Of course, she never made such a promise as she had already promised her voices that she would remain a virgin so long as it pleased God. She won her case and the Bishop that heard the case, called her "That marvelous child." No doubt she was beautiful and the reason the guy was willing to sue. In any event, in earlier times young wives lived with extended families so it was not like today when a wife may not have older women living with her that would advise her.

[NathanDavis]

I would have not liked to be a parent that young... I think that for me it is best to wait till having more experience about life

also, that kind of logistics was never really an issue for me, finding the right person at the right moment is way more important and it is key

[DizzyDesii]

Well of course that was key at the time

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Never.

Much of my reason for being childfree - outside of simply not wanting kids - is health related. Both for myself and the child.

None of my female cousins have escaped complications in their births, and at least three have needed full hysterectomies.

Combined with my birth history, I'm quite certain it would be the death of both me and the child. And that just sounds like an unideal situation, regardless of the money.

[DizzyDesii]

Damn sorry to hear that

[wheresmrcunnunglis]

As someone who is not even thinking about kids since I just got my inner child to graduate to their teen phase for me to continue doing my self-healing. I can't even fathom bringing a child into this world but if I had to Id probably say my 30s. As I have always felt that the 20s are way too young to bring another baby into the world. Especially given the fact that the human mind doesn't stop growing till 25. When I found that out I thanked myself for waiting longer to partake in ganja 🤣

[Th3ft]

Oh geese! This is almost depressing to read. 😂 in truth I would have too. I did t have any girls I was seriously interested in back then and am really glad that I didn’t stay in that area. But I would have gladly started life back then if I could have.

[DizzyDesii]

What was bad to read about their lifestyle?

[Th3ft]

Lol! Oh no! Not bad! I meant that it was depressing hearing your feeling left behind as they all were so successful… Obviously you don’t totally but it just had a kind of undertone.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea kids wise i feel so left behind. Plus i know i chose a fcked up major that hasn't taken me anywhere. I still make money but not off my pointless business major.

[Th3ft]

Oh bugger! Yeah “Business majors are so great” they said… “they help with everything” they said! I remember my dad suggesting I take a business major. So glad I didn’t.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea super glad you didn't. If i could go back, i’d say fck 4 year college and do a 1-2 year trade instead

[Th3ft]

Oooh! A sexy little thing like you in triad school? Sign a brother up! Lol! The trails really are where it is at. I mean I worked for a little while with the post office and if you can get to a contract level with them you make bank. So I would probably chosen to go with them and do a few years as a mailman and then gotten in to something I enjoy like flying or something. But yeah I’m still wondering if I shouldn’t screw it all and go get in to electronics.

[DizzyDesii]

Nah i was tempted to try the post office but saw all the reviews. They more crooked than my last federal job lol. But yea a nice trade like electrician or mechanic wouldve been cool. I mean i love cars but dont know shit about whats under the hood. Still wouldve been nice to learn. And as for being a cable electrician, i’ve always been good with wires

[Th3ft]

I had a friend die from getting fried on a cable. So it has been a little off pouting since then but honestly the more I think about it I think I could really enjoy stuff like thst.

[DizzyDesii]

I dont wanna be a lineman. Im talkin like the person who literally works the cable wires and shit on the home interior/exterior

[Th3ft]

Oh gotcha! Yeah that makes more sense. I have heard it can be a bitch when you are rewiring a room though. like cutting through walls and shit. I mean it would still be better then being outside in the winter but that might make it weird.

[belle_kai]

I want to travel more and be in a good place in my life and career before welcoming a child. I've just turned 32 and if it doesn't happen that's fine too, but I want to be happy and at peace before bringing a life into this world. Right now it feels a little chaotic

[DizzyDesii]

Are you going to freeze your eggs?

[belle_kai]

No lol

[Harleigh90]

I was ready around 27 then our relationship went to shit. Greatful there was no child involved, as our relationship now only consists with a restraining order.

So much has changed in 4 years. Can now say I'm 100% ready.

[DizzyDesii]

Man I can relate to that! Wasted 2 years on a dude just to end up nowhere. Boy if i could get those 2 years back. But im so thankful i didn't end up related to his folks

[Harleigh90]

@DizzyDesii Oh tell me about it! His mum was 2 faced no one is good enough for her son type 🙄

[DizzyDesii]

I literally rather date a dude who has no mom. Sounds fcked up but im tired of those toxic clingy mom lovin types

[Harleigh90]

If you find one let me know 🤣

[DizzyDesii]

I've found too many and we didn't work 🤣

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Lol let's see how will you guys be when you become mom's lol 😆

[DizzyDesii]

@Aakash_Hangargi i won't be much different. I've been taking care of other peoples kids since i was in preschool

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Other people kids your own vagina kids huge difference , you will know once you have them 😊

[DizzyDesii]

@Aakash_Hangargi the only difference is that i’ll have more of a say in how they’re raised. Thats it. Its no different in giving birth than if i adopted a kid. I’d be the same parent to both thank you very much

[Harleigh90]

@Aakash_Hangargi
We're not suddenly going to become toxic mums from giving birth lol delivered enough babies to know how it all happens 🤣

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Delivering is different your emotions changed when it's your own baby you won't even notice it will feel natural to you it will be so slow process and day to day life you won't even know it.

And this is just not your story about being clingy mom's lol most girls complain about it yet they turn into the same 👻

[Aakash_Hangargi]

It's just like it's my doll no it's my doll 😂

[DizzyDesii]

@Aakash_Hangargi you should focus on what it will be like when you become a dad. Please dont speak for us :)

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I dodnt speak for you at all i said let's see 😂

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Didnot*

[Aakash_Hangargi]

As for me i don't know what kinda of dad i will be i am more kind of learn on the job kinda guy

[FilmGuy93]

It's interesting, but I actually always envisioned myself starting a family by around my current age; 28-29.

In terms of my realistic life tragectory right now, I don't see how I could have a kid before my 40s.

[DizzyDesii]

Well i really hope you get to. You appear to be a good dude from the bit i know

[FilmGuy93]

Well thank you Desi, I really appreciate you saying that! I can say the same about you! You seem like cool lady, from the bit I know. Where do you stand on the whole "tiny humans" thing?

[FilmGuy93]

I mean from a realistic standpoint, I know that your ideal age was 24/25

[DizzyDesii]

I want kids more than like 99% of the things in this world. It’ll be a dream come true to have at least 1 before i hit 30. Once i’m 30, i’d likely just adopt

[FilmGuy93]

Gotcha. So the Mommy Clock is ticking a bit, but it's not ringing quite yet.

[DizzyDesii]

I could be 21 and would still feel the same. I knew since age 3 i wanted to be a mom. Wouldve started at 18 had i been married. But i wanted to finish college first so i was fine with 23+. Just hasn't happened for me unfortunately. I mean the guy i dated for 2 years made many false promises and then there was a pregnancy scare and his true colors showed

[TrueConfection]

26 was perfect for me. There was a period that I thought sooner would be better so I wouldn't be an old lady when my kids were finishing high school. I'm glad I waited.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea its not even close to old until you’re out of your 20s anyways

[TrueConfection]

How about 46?

[DizzyDesii]

For me personally, I wouldn't want to birth more kids 32+. Adopt maybe but not birth. And i’d prefer my first kid be in my 20s but there’s not much of that left. My mom is just now about to be 49. I definitely wouldn’t want her having more kids at that age

[TrueConfection]

I think you misread my first reply or I'm not following you. I wouldn't want start having babies any later than early 30s (unless I adopted older kiddos).

[hahahmm]

4 years-old. And why not? Modern society says parents don't need to do anything but breed and blame somebody else when their kid does horrible things.

[DizzyDesii]

3 years old for me

[Smashingdoozy]

30. If I had kids before then then I couldn't just up and go to another country for a festival or concert.

[DizzyDesii]

You could though. They have overnight babysitters. But its best to do that stuff before you get preggers

[Smashingdoozy]

Not without causing crazy traumatic experiences.

[Prettygurl12]

I've been finally is a position to support a child for a decade now. I've just never really had that burning desire.

[DizzyDesii]

Aww i see

[WhitneySnow]

I’m not gonna be a parent till I’m 30. That’s when I’ll be mature enough to handle it.

[DizzyDesii]

I understand

[Johnnyroyyall]

I had my daughter 26.. I lost her when I was 37 she had leukemia.. caused me and her mother to split up I think I was at the perfect age to have the kid. But after all that I couldn't bring myself to have another one

[DizzyDesii]

I dont even expect you to be able to go through that possibility again. I am so so sorry that your babygirl endured pain and im so so sorry that it resulted in her passing. I know it hit you two as parents extremely hard. Im just so glad you got to even become a parent and enjoy the experience while it lasted. May she rest in peace 🙏🥺

[Johnnyroyyall]

Dizzy at this point I just want somebody that wants to be with me for me I would never think about having a kid again but we all get lonely and I do need somebody I need to get over that and I think I think I'm ready

[leighbee]

I would of been 20 would of given 3 months or so before before we all went into lockdown. Thinking about it now that would be hell

[DizzyDesii]

Yea that has stalled many of us... apparently not the celebs

[leighbee]

They have the money and would not be looking after the baby probably hiring a nanny or something

[Apple1996]

Started at 18 and even tho I wasn't ready for it I'm happy that i started early

[DizzyDesii]

Glad it worked out

[ariadneR]

23. When I had my first miscarriage.
If I met my now partner then, I'd probably have like 10 kids by now lmao

[DizzyDesii]

Girl yes i wanted 12 had i started at 18 haha. But honestly i really hate to hear you went through a miscarriage. I dont wish that on anyone and may the baby rip 🙏 Im really sorry

[Lyndsielee666]

I got pregnant at 19 and wished I had waited till I was older tbh

[DizzyDesii]

About how much older

[Lyndsielee666]

Ehhh I had my second at 25 and I feel like I was more stable around then tbh

[CubsterShura]

I'd say 20/21. It's only very recently I'm starting to feel ready for a baby.

[DizzyDesii]

Aww adorbs

[silkjames]

I was 26 years old when my daughter was born we worked on our careers first before we made plans on having children :)!

[DizzyDesii]

Nice

[TallAnon]

It depends on when me and a potential woman were ready for one. I am totally fine waiting until I am around 35, but earlier is fine too. My dad was older than that when I was born.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea its not that it isn't posisble but its risky on both parents ends of the kid possibly having down syndrome and other things

[TallAnon]

As far as I know, that's mostly on the woman's side? The age of the man is far less important. Quick search let me know that 95% of the cases receive the extra chromosome from the mother."there was no evidence for a significant paternal age effect", so all this tells me is to find a hojnfer wife 😂

[DizzyDesii]

Both matter to me. I wouldn't want an old dude. I prefer we both be below 30

[TallAnon]

Yeah, I would prefer a woman my age or younger, but if I go a year or 5 younger, then I could still be 35ish and have no risk.

[Anonymous]

If those weren't an issue I'd become a mom right now. In fact, sometimes I think I'd be pretty OK with it if my birth control didn't work

[DizzyDesii]

Awww :)

[exitseven]

I was 25 and I really was too immature for all the responsibility

[DizzyDesii]

I see

[Jamie05rhs]

It was never about money for me. More important was finding a woman who would be a good mother and actually love our children instead of abusing them.

[Jamie05rhs]

And also someone who I could trust to be loyal and someone with a good personality that I could get along with, so we wouldn't get divorced. I don't want my children to grow up in a broken home.

[DizzyDesii]

Makes sense

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks

[BillyBalls]

I think the age varies from person to person.

The early 20's seem to be a time to enjoy life before a person takes on big responsibilities.

[DizzyDesii]

Well yea im asking for yours personally

[Anonymous]

Fourteen is a good age provided its with sn older working man and good family support.

[DizzyDesii]

Noooo

[TheSpaceGnome]

Never. I like my free time and have no interest in parenting.

[jahaims]

My wife was pregnant with our first when I was 26 and she was 24.

[DizzyDesii]

Awww :)

[nawtee_me]

I almost became a parent at 17 and her at 15. Way too young…

[DizzyDesii]

Yea same but we werre the same age

[nawtee_me]

@DizzyDesii when I was 17 you could go to Mississippi to the justice of the peace and get married and the girl only needed to 15. We almost eloped to Mississippi. lol

[DizzyDesii]

Glad my ex wasn't aware of that although i assume it changed by time we were 15

[Nahid1707]

That makes sense, how old are you now and when would you want children?

[DizzyDesii]

I’ve wanted kids since forever like i mentioned. I’m unfortunately 27 now and wasted 2 years on one dude who made false promises about wanting kids. As for the others i dated, they just werent on that future father level yet

[Nahid1707]

As long as you moved on, that is important.

i know you dated a guy online way Before.
You were always committed and did your best as a girlfriend.

Remind me, how many children would you want?

You will learn from the experience

[DizzyDesii]

Yea he's the one i wasted 2 years on but we saw eachother in person multiple times a year. Then i almost got pregnant and things went downhill when his true colors came out. Anyways, i used to want 12 kids. Now i’d be fine with 1-2 kids because i preferred to have all my kids in my 20s

[Nahid1707]

That makes sense, and one or two is good.

What happened that almost make you pregnant? Nothing too bad?

Yea, for someone who known you for a few years, a hella while, i know you take your relationship seriously.

Have you moved on from both?😊

[DizzyDesii]

Yes i moved on from him within that same week. And he just did some dumb stunt and then got surprised when my period skipped 2 months

[Nahid1707]

Good, i am so glad. Seeing you much happier is definitely better.
You always ask good questions to get everybody involved here.

Do you plan your questions? Or go with whatever is on your mind? 😂

[DizzyDesii]

Im random. But i haven't asked as much lately. Just stressed in general

[Nahid1707]

Hugs, I’m sorry for you being a little stressed out part.
Yea, yesterday questions were good.

You’re not too random, you have a chill personality 💜

[DizzyDesii]

Lol i meant that my questions are me being random. I ask whatever is on my mind. But thank you :)

[Nahid1707]

You’re welcome, i understand and what was the stunt he did and tried then?

What does the future hold for you?
Met a guy in your state you like or waiting to meet him?😊

[DizzyDesii]

You’re asking too many questions. He just did something that couldve easily gotten me pregnant. And who knows what the future hold? God does. And hopefully I meet a guy around town

[Nahid1707]

i am sorry

Hopefully, you deserve to be Loved

[TheAfrikan]

AT the age of 25 I would be proud to be a dad. But hey u would be having kids 218 wow yang mamy.

[DizzyDesii]

Huh?

[RandomGuy1030]

Fifteen. people who say the later the better are weird

[DizzyDesii]

I agree lol

[RandomGuy1030]

Love you for that

[matchrestore]

About 30 still, when I had my son.

[DizzyDesii]

That was your ideal?

[matchrestore]

Yeah.

[EyeKnowMeNahYou]

21, ripe age but I'm glad I chose 28

[DizzyDesii]

Both sound good

[EyeKnowMeNahYou]

Right now the best thing about it would be if I have the mate with the right mindset appropriate with at the age of 21

[Phoenix98]

Mid 20s so around 25 probably.

[DizzyDesii]

Nice

[Phoenix98]

Mhmm

[DizzyDesii]

How do you feel about not having any atm

[Phoenix98]

I wish I did.

It’s just a matter of time though.

[DizzyDesii]

Right on. Stay optimistic

[fonduegirl]

After death, when I can bail out on motherhood

[Mark987]

The youngest let's say around 26ish

[DizzyDesii]

Nice

[Sparkie460]

I had my first child at 24

[DizzyDesii]

Sounds perfect to me

[ElvenMr]

Probably as early as possible, so like 18-20.

[DizzyDesii]

So rare

[Tstrbrainer]

Not planning to become one anytime soon

[DizzyDesii]

Understandable

[legalboxers]

I dont wanna have kids..

[DevinAM]

18, that's when I really started wanting children.

[DizzyDesii]

I can relate

[LovingLoverReturned]

25 lol

[DizzyDesii]

Perfect

[Agape93]

Never

[RobEurope]

Like 20 to 25

[DizzyDesii]

didn't expect to hear 20. Thats pretty good

[LovingLoverReturned]

Yeah especially for a guy I didn't expect. He is a rarity. Lol women usually want from younger.. and even so many women date guys a little bit older...

[DizzyDesii]

@LovingLoverReturned i prefer same age and no more than a 3 year gap. So he’s a good rarity for sure

[LovingLoverReturned]

I see. Cool

[RobEurope]

didn't know girls liked it. Im ready to have a family at 27 lol. Long overdue.

[DizzyDesii]

I agree