By family I mean your extended family, in laws, step family, or even adoptive family. Or if you're only close to your immediate family you can mention that.
Which side (s) of your family are you close to? Or are you not close to any side of your family?
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I see my mother's side of the family more often. They live closer to us, and they helped my parents a lot with finances throughout the years. It's a complicated relationship. They don't like my father, and that caused some problems, but my mother is very close to them, and my parents needed the money, so we spent a lot of time with them growing up. My grandparents also live on the beach, in a pretty big house. I grew up spending much of my summers there, and they watched us whenever my parents wanted to have a date night or go on a little trip by themselves. My grandparents care about their grandkids a lot, and I'm also really close with my cousins on that side of the family. Closer than many people are to their siblings. I consider myself extremely lucky to have that relationship with them.
I don't see my dad's side of the family a lot. They live far away, which makes it inconvenient. His parents separated when he was really young. They can be a little rough around the edges. A few of them have gone to jail a few times. My mother tended to get uncomfortable around them. She was especially nervous to have little me around some of the adult male family members, as a few of them (one in particular) raised some red flags for her. I never spent any time alone with anyone from that side of my family, nor did my brothers. We saw them once or twice a year, and that's it. It's become even rarer now as most of that family has become very pro-Trump, and their racist and homophobic opinions have become more public. My little brother is gay. I'm bi. The likelihood that we will ever be especially close with anyone on that side of the family is very slim. There are a two cousins on that side that I wish I could be closer to, but for the rest of them, I don't consider it much of a loss.
Of course I'm also extremely close to my immediate family. There's some drama, and my parents have done some bad things, but they've done a lot of work to get better, and I appreciate it a lot. My siblings and I are also incredibly close. Because we're siblings, but also because of the trauma bond. I love my family so much.
My adoptive family is primarily my moms side, since my dads side has all passed away. My moms side of the family is larger, but still a small family, in comparisons to my dad.
For my biological family, I am closer to my mothers side, because they are the ones who were in periodic contact with my parents throughout my childhood. Therefore, our connection is a bit stronger because the ties with my biological family and adoptive family. I only found out my fathers side of the family from a DNA test, which was later in my life. I never really had a connection because my father was unknown and my adoptive parents obviously don’t know my fathers side of the family when I was adopted.
My mom's side. My dad's brother is homeless and broke. His sister lives paycheck to paycheck and the only reason her daughter was able to go to college is because my parents paid her way. In contrast almost all of my mom's siblings are reasonably well off, or at least comfortable in their lack. Plus the only living grandparent I still have is on my mom's side and she is dying (literally as I type this) in my city, so my mom's siblings, my sister, and my cousins come by regularly to see her one last time. Even before then we visited her quite often with my aunts and uncles before she was moved here.
I am closer with the relatives on my mothers' side... I spent plenty of my early years with my mother's grandma as they were very very close, and in general... my mother has been always closer with her family than my father was with his so just from that, I became more familiar with one side
also, the relatives on the side of my father tend to expand and move out way further, while on my mothers side they tend to stay in the same region or way closer, so that is a factor as well
Aside from my mom, sis, and maternal grandparents... —I occasionally talk to my dad’s mom. The rest of his fam finally gave up on me since I won’t give them the time of day. They’re sweet people. I just rather keep my circle small. —I also occasionally talk and hangout with my 3 flakey cousins on my moms side —Then i sometimes talk to my uncle (my grandpas brother). Everyone else i just pretty much dont fck with. Fckin fakes. I used to feel forced to invite all 175+ of my fam to the wedding. Now it would be no more than 10-20
@Cherry234 Thank you! :) I went to my nephew's bday and my cousin reminded me there's more family than just my mother and father who love me. It was really encouraging and I made plans to go to a garden centre with my aunt, too. :)
Just my mom and dad and brothers. My aunt and uncle's are users so we don't talk to them. My other aunt I loved her dearly but she died recently. I didn't like her husband though he made me feel uncomfortable I got creepy uncle vibes from him. My mom and dad would always tell me to stay away from my uncle so it sounds like he really is a weirdo. My cousins aren't close with me they don't care about me at all. I've tried having a relationship with my cousins but they're sadly not nice people.
It sucks when some of your family members don't want to have a relationship with you. I messaged one of my cousins once on FB on my dad's side and she never responded to me. I'm not close to her.
Closer to my mom's before she died now not close to any of them really.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Not a good synergy with adopted family although it worked as well as it needed to. Met one or two birth family. Sounds like there would have been synergy but I haven't included them in my life.
I'm closer with the family members on my moms side I don't know many family members on my dads side besides my grandma and even we weren't close.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
My mom didn't like us associating with either my mother or my father's side of the family. So other than my sister's and their families I have no other family.
That’s not true. Just because you don’t have good relatives doesn’t mean everyone else also has bad ones. I have relatives in my family I love dearly and they care for me as I do for them.
I am sorry, I thought you wanted me to answer your question so i did, for me. I never said it was like that for everyone. Don't take offence when the answer is not what you wanted or expected.
Read your last sentence. You said all relatives try to use you. That's your experience with your family but it's not like that in everyone's family. It sounds like you were making a generalization about relatives. I'm not offended if you aren't close to your family because they're toxic.
My dad’s relatives are scattered across the country and I don’t really get to see them. It also seems like some of them are really cliquey or closed off. I tried messaging one of my cousins on my dad’s side on FB once and she never responded to me.
Damn sorry to here that my mom and dad was married 38 years until my mom passed away so I got to be with my dad's family and my mom's but the grew up together so they all know each other
@GGBB! BUT Mama is still alive @65. Months older than Papa.
Mama's brothers and sisters are always praising me... in my talents. My 1st cousins and we siblings were all like SiblingsAnd surely there's happy days and ever with them and they're talkative. There are time of jokes and good food. They some of them cook good too. It's also sad we are not complee anymore since after my Grandma died some day after their Golden Wedding Anniversary which one of my closest girl cousin is still a baby.
Both my Mama and Papa have royal blood and have also celebrity blood.
It mean nothing more or less or anything to me since I was raised in a family crazy condition and I am still on crazy condition, I just wanna leave and live alone and maybe from time to time visit mom
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