Has anyone ever Mistook your Kindness for your Weakness?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I applied to be a manager at my former job. Part of the training involved a 3 month assessment period before they give you the keys to the kingdom. I did everything required during the training. I had all the recommendations from staff, from previous managers, my current manager, but 3 months passed and I heard nothing. Since I was training alongside someone else, I was a little less worried, but at the four month mark I went to HR to inquire about my status and was literally shocked to hear that the head of HR said and I quote, "you're too nice" for this job.

She felt I wouldn't be able to do what's required to manage the 100+ employees because I was friendly. I didn't even know what to say to that. Like how do you stop being nice or turn into an a-hole apparently, to do a job. I left, went straight to my manager, who then went straight back to HR---they had a long conversation, and a week later I was manager....for the next 6 years...and when I left THEY asked me to come back...twice. I didn't change a thing about my personality. If you have to be a jerk to get people to do their jobs, that's a failure on your part as a manager. I didn't have to yell or push people around and as a result, we had some of the best overall evaluations of staff and frankly, of myself because staff liked that I treated them like they weren't toddlers who couldn't' do basic functions.

Sour-rose · Accepted Answer

Yup. Like this homeless guy who claimed he could help me out of a rut? Left my keys in my car and locked it in a city where I had no family. So his solution was to break my rear view window while i was doing my "rounds". I denied that offer and when I did get help, I paid him $2 because he was asking for a little change.

This mofo came the next day threatening to have me fired because I wouldn't give him $10. I dealt with enough shi and don't really fear of losing many things anymore. Soo I told him to fk off. And never saw him again.

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

Hah! People do that  ALL THE TIME!  They think I'm some vertically-challenged Clark Kent soyboy because I'm quiet and keep to myself, and confuse that for shyness and weakness, especially back in Philly. They have NO idea that the quiet ones, are the most dangerous. As in, "I have a detailed knowledge of human anatomy, muscles, and pressure points", on some Dexter Morgan type sh*t. I used to do boxing and kickboxing to take my anger out on the 200 kg bag, and it was still never enough to calm me down. But why bother to correct them and give up my advantage of coming across short and weak to them? Other than the fact that I hate that people think of me in such a way now.

Raaj4you · Accepted Answer

Yes, I have helped people with my open heart. But in return they insulted and cheated me. They think they are smart and I am weak. But I am not weak, I am a great guy and nobody can snatch my identity. God has given me more than I asked for.

Rania05 · Answer

When people are kind to me I don't take it for granted but many does address me rudely when I'm being and acts offended when my smile gets off my face and I start to ignore them
People are hypocritical and ungrateful which put nice guys into uncomfortable spots
Feed a man for a day, you get thanks and maybe even their knees. Feed a man for months and give less once, you'd get beaten

Sorrento-Sun · Answer

Yeah, many times. I'm a very kind and compassionate person in real life, but it has its downside. I tend to attract manipulative people who try to take advantage of my kindness. So I'm now selective about who I extend my kindness go

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I have a professional "partner" who thinks all attorneys should be hard-nosed, aggressive, etc. He is very much different from me. I constantly remind him that we can get great mileage out of playing the "good cop - bad cop" routine.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

Oh yes, countless times and many got clapped back and i made sure that kindness is not weakness. I ended up on the edge with bosses and supervisors, i was in trouble many times, being smart and ask for help from the right people. It is stressful to stand up against asshole bosses.

LuvLuv89 · Answer

You can add "humility" to that criteria as well. If there's the slightest lapse in that "I'm so amazing" face we put on to market ourselves then we're immediately looked down on. Despite humility actually being a sign of strength.

bolverk · Answer

I'm a quiet polite guy, but people have found to their cost that if they think I'm weak they will come off worse as I was taught how to fight by my grandfathers, one a mill worker, the other a Blacksmith in the British Army, and the polish was put on by my father A Para-Engineer.

exitseven · Answer

I don't really think that ever happened to me but it is hard to say.

LaBokaChula · Answer

I have had this happen a lot and they quickly regretted it when I finally snapped. LOL

SoftCliff · Answer

Yeah sometimes people tell me that I'm a bit too naive and shouldn't be so kind

Jennz6 · Answer

Paris I wouldn’t do that, you are so sweet, because I know that you are strong too

BobbieBoy666 · Answer

They always think I'm up to something when I show kindness. 💞

menina · Answer

Yes, many times and sadly I ended up being used. The most revolting part is that I only realized that I was being used after so many years. I couldn't tell at the moment.

FreyaRed · Answer

Yes, many times but I don't really care because my kindness isn't more than a role play and if they believe it's real, I'm credible in this role.

Shark_61695 · Answer

Kindness? 😀 I don't think it has been taken as a weakness but people definitely take advantage of me because I tend to just say yes.

carlgpfeifer · Answer

I have bin kindful to girl in my 20 years of marriage it was not to great my marriage was falling apart I have not had a date in my last three years since I split up with my ex wife

fbk94 · Answer

Often times yes In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you could comment on my question.  #Reigner

Cubus · Answer

I knew one person here saying "don't mistake my kindness for weakness" and blocking me.

Andres77 · Answer

Quite often. some are very surprised at the end.

NathanDavis · Answer

it happened a few times in the past... but people learn and word spreads around as well... lol

PantyBuyer4Life · Answer

My kindness is bc I'm pathetic, so it's no mistake. :)

Bethany22 · Answer

Yup, all the time. That's why I'm not too kind

Crankor · Answer

Not me personally but I have brought that up to someone... not meaning it to be a weakness but a vulnerability. Like being taken advantage of and not seeing the clear picture of what's going on and making a reasonable decision rather than just going whatever seems to make everyone happy at your own expense

sweet-chocolate · Answer

Many times. You can't even be overly kind to people nowadays anymore lol

humanearth · Answer

Oh yes many times Paris, thats when I get evil and commit a crime

AviatorTom · Answer

That's often what people mean when they say "You're too kind". I never consider kindness a sign of weakness, and if others think I'm weak because I show some kindness, that's their problem, not mine.

Smoothing · Answer

The people who have done so, end up getting a nasty surprise. But I always give them a chance to adjust. I am nice but not stupid either.

mT2359 · Answer

I would like to believe that it is better to be seen as weak than being unkind.

nawtee_me · Answer

I do not look for weakness in anyone. Everyone has there own kind of weakness

SnowedIn · Answer

All the time, Paris. It's disappointing.

Summeroflove · Answer

Oh plenty of times. I’m kind to most people. Once people abuse it…. Nope. They ain’t entitled.

tonamimargaux · Answer

Yeah that happens to me every time I act kind towards someone.

Likes2drive · Answer

Yeah my kids and some friends

Wise4myage · Answer

No, at least as far I know. :)

Shehnaz · Answer

That's a usual practice.

doc268 · Answer

Of corse. But just because I’m kind doesn’t mean I’m not a beast when need be. Never lose who u r be kind but remember sometimes that beast needs to come out

clampfan101 · Answer

Quite so. 😕 I wouldn’t care if I weren’t still single, but I am… 😥

BlurryHaze · Answer

YES. Had to square that away immediately.

Sabretooth · Answer

a few did in a game I play did... didn't work. one soldier tried... he had an early retirement. your life may depend on that lession.

Anonymous · Answer

Thats a trademark of the narcissist. People who this have a reprobate heart. Mind is seared with a hot iron. Its unhealthy. True, no good dead hoes unpunished by these types of people..

Baredog · Answer

But it didn't work out well for them

Agape93 · Answer

Yeap. Bad move

modeve · Answer

Very often.

Massageman · Answer

not very often.

Iron_Man · Answer

No I don't think so

VIVANT · Answer

When not? 😂

LavLavLuv · Answer

Yeah🙍‍♀️

pizzalovershouse · Answer

A few exs

Havthrills · Answer

Yes. Just about everyone

RavVid · Answer

All the time my generosity is taken as weakness.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Yeah, probably a few times.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yes. All the time. Usually females.

Fireguy17 · Answer

I have no clue.

Blackcupcake · Answer

yes.

hafinjun · Answer

Probably I'm very kind😁

msc545 · Answer

Not more than once.

Debbie14217 · Answer

no not yet

CubaPirate · Answer

Thankfully not

jamartheg · Answer

No because I am never kind

Anonymous · Answer

Not really, North Korea!

BJP21 · Answer

All the time.

Has anyone ever Mistook your Kindness for your Weakness?

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