Why isn't my dad proud of me because I’m independent? Is it bad to be an adult and independent at age 25?

[Sugar100]

I’ve been living alone since age 23. I feel it’s good be independent because you can’t depend on your parents forever & act like baby. My parents don’t own a home so that’s one reason why i live alone. My parents are divorced & grew up hearing seeing parents fight daily & it was scary traumatized me. So I can’t live healthy life living with parents as an adult. I have dreams of living with boyfriend one day, have babies, & now have decorated my home now I dreamt of. My dad and I aren’t talking few months now. He has said he’s not proud of me because I’m independent. Mom lives in a garage because she has dreamt buy a home 10 years now & it won’t come true. She runs away from paying rent or deposit or running credit. She spent her $20k on nothing & tells me shut up when I tell her to rent apartment. She’s the type to never take action. It got old& I just don’t care anymore as she likes being homelesss I noticed. Me and my parents no longer get along since I was 23 and became independent & they get angry if I say the word adult. That word makes them super angry. To them adult means sex. do other parents get angry if their child calls themselves an adult?

[Charlesbrandonf]

It sounds like none of them are happy for a single reason for where they are.


I grew up in a very close family things so I know what means controlling. My understanding is that They’re not angry at you. But they’re angry for leaving them and trying to tell them how to live just because you now see a solution.


Someone are just like that, know this that they love you. This is what means loving to them. When you compare two different family love, It will definitely different. No two family love towards their child is same. If you see your parents are different, don’t tell them, because their entire life they might have been told to correct them.


And what they do, If that’s the best, you think they can do. Let them be, and be thankful you have parents, don’t stop sharing your love if they use mean/hurtful words. Just don’t get too close to them as they feel they’re trapped in their own life/cell. Definitely they’re also victims in this.




Every one out of 10 will have this, either child looks bad or parents look bad. You sound a smart strong girl. Expecting and wanting to live a boyfriend/babies/family is good. Don’t date men to see if they’re marriage type. Date men that are marriage minded. You’ll see the difference. You’re a young queen. Life is what you choose and how you see it. Be strong, You’re not alone in this fight. You’re not the only one to fight. Your sweetness will definitely come back in multiples.

[Sugar100]

Yes but no one is leaving them. All men and women live alone at this age or live with a boyfriend or husband, that doesn’t mean u r leaving parents. 🙁 u have to start your own life, when u are an adult grow up you can’t be 25 or 30 crying for your mommy and say I can’t cook I need my mom to cook only or cry like a baby at 25 playing with toys holding moms hand. No child is 28 or 30 crying saying I can’t do anything alone I need mommy do everything for me! 🙁that’s sad.

[Sugar100]

Being an adult doesn’t mean you are leaving them. Why you are saying that? some children move to another state or have babies with boyfriend or fiancé and begin happy life at age 23-30. That isn’t leaving parents.

[Charlesbrandonf]

I’m not telling you to not to leave them or leave them. It’s totally your choice to live on your own once you get 18. Just to make sure that nothing will effect you much on living a decent day. Good sleep, good food and decent day is needed to fight another day and another day and so on. Yes many of them are are moving states living happily with their partners. That isn’t leaving parents. I get it.

[BigschlongEnergy]

Your dad Your mom Is mad because the world doesn’t Work like they want it to which To translate it for you the world doesn’t Work by simply Saying it into existence or thinking things into existence your parents hate living because reality doesn’t listen to them and give things to them by Simply thinking of it and your parents hate that fact and refuse to Play by The rules of reality you got what your parents Want But your parents are in another world of there own They don’t follow the rules of the Universe sounds cool right? Wrong Ya see It sounds cool like someone doesn’t have to follow the rules of the universe but then when you Realize by not playing by the rules You Don’t get any rewards in life you get a shit life in return the coolness Fades away from it all You played by the rules of reality and was rewarded for it your parents refuse to accept reality as it is and hate the creator of it All for not giving them the power to alter reality with thought alone your parents want to have magical powers And so they are angry when They see that they have no powers and then they see you got everything without any powers but they want powers they need it For there life to be good.

[sunflower00]

You’re an adult, you’re allowed to be independent and also have sex? They sound jealous and controlling tbh. Good for you being so independent!

[Sugar100]

They have always made more money than me so I don't know why they have no place to live. It’s not my fault. I’m not rich enough to just buy both of them a home either. Mom just says shut up to any advice or help I try say about her moving somewhere

[Sugar100]

They believe u only have sex when u marry or when I’m their age. They want me never have sex

[sunflower00]

I think you seem far more responsible than your parents, you obviously save better and use your money better. I wouldn’t waste your time trying to give them advice unfortunately as they don’t seem to want it. You should try to stay positive and be happy that you have a place to live and it’s their own fault they don’t

[sunflower00]

Also it’s unrealistic for them to never want you to have sex. Yeah sure parents don’t want to think of their kids doing that but it’s a part of life and everyone does it really, it’s normal to have sex not a sin. It’s up to you what you do with your own life!

[Sugar100]

Do u live with parents?

[sunflower00]

No I don’t, I live with my boyfriend

[Sugar100]

ur parents don’t complain of sex?

[sunflower00]

No, they have no right to comment on my sex life tbh. I don’t tell them about it and they don’t ask. They accept it’s a normal thing to do when you’re in a relationship, they obviously know i have sex but why would you tell off an adult for having consenting sex with their long term partner.

I may add by the way I am not religious and I live in the UK. I know different cultures treat sex differently but to me there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having sex with your partner and parents shouldn’t comment on it - unless you’re way too young (like 13), sleeping around unsafely, etc. then I understand if they’re concerned and would like to have a conversation about safety

[Sugar100]

To them at 25 they still don’t treat me as an adult. I live alone and they come to my home adress often or open my car and leave notes or shit inside or follow me to my job. 😞 I plan move again next year so they don’t find my adress

[melanieeeB]

Probably cause you have your shit more together than them

It's a very good thing to being independent

[Summeroflove]

Some parents….. Dont want their kids to grow up they want to treat them like kids forever.

You’re a adult. Tell you’re dad that he will always be your dad and that you can always go to him for advice or help when needed. But that you’re grown now.

[bamesjond0069]

Being independent at 25 is not really anything to be proud of. Most people are independent at 18. Personally I moved out and took charge of my own life at 17. But this is bare minimum. You also are a woman so being independent isn't really that important in the first place. At 25 I'd think they would be more proud if you were married with kids on the way by now. Instead you've finally accomplished something you should have at 18. Smh.

[Sugar100]

Only lucky people marry fast and at early age. My parents want me never have sex neevr have kids. They think 25 is age 5 in kindergarten

[bamesjond0069]

Well they sound mentally disturbed. I know they are your parents but maybe you shouldn't worry about what they think and just do what you're supposed to do.

[Subarugirl]

Yeah except most people are not independent by 18. Half if not more parents still financially support their adult children over the age of 18.

[bamesjond0069]

@Subarugirl and so what's the point that most people are developmentally behind or just pure losers? Gee I got a C on the test but did you know lots of kids failed? Take me to pizza hut? Smh. I don't see how other grown adults being failures has anything to do here with her meeting the bare minimum requirements and at a delayed age and she expects like a party or something and a parade thrown in her honor. No.

[Subarugirl]

The point is that the vast majority do not live in dependently at 18 years old... on average people do not move out of their parents residence until 27 years old. What does moving out as a minor have anything to do with being developmentally behind, and what decent parent would let their minor child move out? It is the norm for parents to still support their teen age children, its abnormal that a parent would kick their kid out on their own and expect them to succeed in an economy were people can barely afford to rent an apartment let alone buy a house.

The average cost of living for a household in the united states is more than $61,000 a year, and median income for an individual is $44,000...

[bamesjond0069]

@Subarugirl I think you're on drugs. You don't need 44k to live on your own smh. That's just incompetent

[Subarugirl]

No those are national averages. You’re more than welcome to look it up yourself.

[bamesjond0069]

@Subarugirl and like I said how is that relevant? If the average was higher or lower it still doesn't make the OP more or less accomplished. If everyone eats shit for breakfast are you now all of a sudden a genius for eating cheerios? I mean what do other people have to do with it? Asker doesn't talk about other people soooo?

[Subarugirl]

And it doesn't make you more or less accomplished for leaving home as a minor. As previously stated it is relevant because you made false statements and presented them as factual when indeed they were not. It also means that the OP is more independent than most because most people at her age are still receiving financial support from their parents. Just because you ran off at 17 doesn't make you more accomplished, it just means you have negligent parents that let their teenager run off.

[bamesjond0069]

@Subarugirl I didn't run off. I graduated early applied to college. Got a scholarship on top of working and left. And I absolutely do not deserve a pat on the back for it.

"more independent than most" what does most have to do with it? So you think if tomorrow everyone eats shit for breakfast then eating cheerios would qualify one as a genius? Yes or no?

[Subarugirl]

Right so at 17 years old you were able to enroll and pay for college all on you own with no financial support from you parents at all? What on earth does eating shit have to do with supportive parents?

[bamesjond0069]

@Subarugirl correct. I got straight As applied to like 10 schools and researched which ones had the best scholarships. As well as applied to other scholarship awards. And I was working a lot. As I said. I don't think it's award worthy or anything. Just lame as fuck for a 25 yo to consider being independent something special.

[Subarugirl]

It's not considered special, it's just not the norm.

[Staximus]

They sound like irresponsible idiots. Live your own life and don't allow yourself to get sucked into or involved in their bullshit drama and problems. They need to learn how to take care of themselves and are probably embarrassed that you are more responsible than them. They should be proud of you.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't expect parents to be "proud" of their kid for being an adult and independent at age 25. That's pretty much meeting a bare minimum expectation. It's like being "proud" of graduating primary school. That's pretty much what you expect to happen if you live long enough to be old enough to go to middle school. It's something that 99%+ of kids manage to accomplish--so not exactly a source of much pride.

[lululemonangel45]

Very odd, most parents would be extremely happy to see their child be responsible and independent - maybe your parents are jealous of you achieving something they couldn't

[Sugar100]

My mom Saha I abandoned her and once at age 22 I told her my dream is start life with a partner and she said I’m stupid for wanting that. she always talks of sex a lot she never wants me have sex not even. At 25 . She doesn’t know boyfriend visits me. She would be in misery if she knew boyfriend visits me.

[Sugar100]

Parents would only be happy if I lived with mom forever broke.

[jshm2]

You're confused.

He isn't proud of you because you're not helping them as they feel entitled to. It's what he means by "independent".

[Guy13]

Good for you 💪. Hopefully you’ll g egg t that house by 26.

[Sugar100]

What house?

[Sugar100]

I don’t own a home I live in a studio apartment

[Guy13]

You said you wanted house and family…

[Sugar100]

I said it’s my moms dream her whole life to buy a home and it won’t come true she’s not young anymore

[Anonymous]

Quite possible your parents are jealous of you and would bring you down. Good thing you are more responsible than your parents. Strength and honor to you Lady. You've made it through. Be proud of your much needed autonomy.

[Surely]

Stand tall and be proud of yourself!! You are so much stronger of a person than the college grads living in their parent’s basements!
I would be happy to know you!

[Luopio27]

They want you to be their kid again, not an adult. That is messed up, thats all I can say.

[legalboxers]

to put it bluntly, and your young enough to be my kid.. you will always be daddys little girl.

[peedy]

Your dad doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about

[BigschlongEnergy]

And you do?

[TallAnon]

Seems normal to me, I've been living on my own since 19.

[Jamie05rhs]

Where did she get $20,000?

[In_Passing]

Because u didn't married.

[Sugar100]

No guy is racing asking me to marry? Only lucky people get married

[eagle1951]

he should be proud of you