Why does my mother always buy me clothes that are too big for me?

Question

Is she genuinely that forgetful or is that a sign of a toxic mother?

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

My mom does the same thing. I used to wear relatively large sizes (12-14s) until I lost weight. And even though my mom is well aware I can wear smalls and mediums now, she still buys me larger sizes. Why?

Habit. That and she doesn't know what my exact size is. So she rather get something too big, than the wrong size that's too small. I don't mind. I just gently remind her of my actual size, or just say thanks and not wear what she got me. I suggest one day you go shopping with your mom and just 'happen' to try on clothes when you go out. Make sure she sees you in some outfits that fit you properly and tell her your size so she sees how you look in said clothes.

If she's still buying you clothes that are too big after that, then yeah, I might assume she's being toxic, or assuming rather you be in clothes that are too big than dressing sexy/too tight.

dustybiker · Accepted Answer

Enjoy it. You’ll miss her and her quirks when she’s gone. Trust me.

PizzaPieMamaBear · Answer

I don’t know that’s strange! Maybe she’s forgetful! I don’t know your relationship. It reminded me of one time my husband brought me really beautiful lingerie a Teddy with push up cups really beautiful I loved it it came in like cup size. He got me it in a 34C 😭😭😭 I was like you wish are their implants in that gift box too lol

CubsterShura · Answer

My mother doesn't do it a lot but my father does, he thinks that getting something big is key to being modest and not show the body. It's not true lol.

Try to set a boundary with your mother, I set one with my parents as sometimes they buy me stuff I don't want/like and they keep insisting that I wear it. I told them 'you can buy something for me, but if I don't like it I'm not going to wear it and it will be sitting in the wardrobe being untouched'. So far it helped.

Truthatanycost · Answer

It's often a sign of toxicity and projection. I've seen this behavior before. It's also a possible sign of inability to see reality and / or truth. The manipulation works well because the person in question starts to think it's an accident, forgetfulness, habit, or that she is simply unsure. Accepting the behavior then allows the toxicity to continue without challenge. Thus the manipulation works well.

Kori1236 · Answer

Maybe she’s unsure. I personally like bigger clothing like graphic tshirts and hoodies because I can just burrow in them. For example I wear a medium sometimes large depending on the fit around the boobs but the sweater I’m wearing right now is an XL goes passed my butt and is just so warm. You could go shopping with her and pick out clothing you like that fits you and maybe she’ll remember or you can ask her why she gets clothes for you that are too big.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Either she figures you'll eventually get bigger or she's giving you a sign that she's hoping you'll get knocked up and give her grandchildren and you'll need bigger clothes during the last few months.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

I’m going to guess on this one & say if she buys you clothes that are too small you might think you are fat & if she buys you clothes that are too big you’ll think you are skinny.

mobiusforniner · Answer

My mom does too. She gets me XL when i wear M. Her rationale? Its comfortable.  But i dont like looking like a deflated blimp

SamK20 · Answer

Hey, it's better than them being too small, at least you can still wear them 😂

.. She could be that forgetful, might not really care enough to get things as close to your size as possible, but might care enough to still want to get you clothes, or she may be trying to purposely offend you, hard to tell.

RealMarek · Answer

If she’s toxic in other ways maybe it is that, but otherwise I would not entertain that conclusion. Perhaps give her your measurments/sizes or simply exchange the clothes for ones that fit if you can.

NathanDavis · Answer

is she the one buying all of your clothes?  or are these gifts that happen from time to time? maybe just tell her to get you other stuff that do not require a fit

RavVid · Answer

Maybe she never go over buying clothes you would grow into when you were a child. Does she know your size?

TroyDT2 · Answer

Maybe she buys clothes that she wants and figures if they are too large you will give them back to her. In that way she can say she gave you a gift, and still get out of having to actually buy a gift for  you .

Mmmariaxc · Answer

Does she prefer to wear looser clothing herself because that might be how she thinks it’s supposed to fit.

Aaron03 · Answer

I feel like she’s forgetful. Obviously I know the dynamics are much different with a mother/daughter than they are a mother/son but even my mom when she buys me clothes they’re always at least a size too big

slatyb · Answer

Feels toxic to me. She's not listening to you, showing you that she doesn't care much what you want.

Sixgunsound · Answer

Is she suggesting that you should be in a state where you would need bigger tops or something?

purplepoppy · Answer

Don't worry you'll grow into them 😉  She probably forgot you stopped growing years ago.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Send her a shopping list with your size. Hope that helps

Guy13 · Answer

She wants to keep her baby at home. Take them back and get the right seam fit….

AviatorTom · Answer

It may be her way of dealing with her belief that she is bigger than she would like to be.

maximumpower · Answer

don't blame your mother for clothing or your relationship.  maybe she's trying to get you to buy your own clothing - something most do by the time they're of your age.

cloud9vortex1234 · Answer

If you told her about it and said what sizes are best for you and she keeps buying clothes that are too big then I would think she's more than likely doing it just to be toxic.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I would give a hint on your size and take things from there.

Jennz6 · Answer

So that you can take them back and get what you want

AngryCarl · Answer

I don't know enough about your mother to say if she is toxic or not. Do you have the receipts? Can you exchange them for the right size?

nawtee_me · Answer

Were you ever that big? If not then maybe she is forgetful. Does she forget other things?

Anonymous · Answer

Do you have a really big set of tits? Maybe that's why

Sparkie460 · Answer

Maybe you have a nice figure and she wants you to start hiding your figure

Anonymous · Answer

Your mom loves you. There's nothing toxic. Just go to the tailors.

peedy · Answer

She wants you to get pregnant lol I don't know ask her maybe she doesn't know your size

OddBeMe · Answer

Could be. My mother is passive aggressive. But it’s better than aggressive aggressive, right?

JohnK123 · Answer

How old r u…? why ur mom still buying clothes for u

Anonymous · Answer

Because it made sense when you were a child and she hasn't changed her mindset now that you are an adult?

Razzy12 · Answer

May be not to reveal your shapes and make sure she walks comfortable with you in public

aamitroi · Answer

So she will have to wait for you to grow up and can wear them at the perfect time

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe she thinks they will shrink after you wash them

Anonymous · Answer

Cause she is comforting you. She wishes that you eat and get fat and comfort being fat in that big dress

exitseven · Answer

she still expects you to grow into them

Curiosity2006 · Answer

Because she thinks big of you. :) :) :)

Lliam · Answer

She's waiting for you to grow into them. 🤣

Samarasaid · Answer

My mum does the same hahahaaa

fonduegirl · Answer

She's indirectly calling you fat

Mtbgirl · Answer

Maybe she doesn’t know your size?

pizzalovershouse · Answer

Give her a big writing diary to put it in

24_7_Amazing · Answer

She's trying to help you

Guardian45 · Answer

No, I think she's trying to hide your figure

Teriyaki70 · Answer

She's unsure maybe

Li668 · Answer

Because she was afraid you wouldn't wear it

eagle1951 · Answer

she figures you'll grow into them

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