Former best friend always talks how we aren’t best friends anymore :(?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend, who went through a bad first relationship her last two years of college and cut me out of her life (as her best friend) when her boyfriend told her not to keep any of her friends and move in with him across the country in another state (his exact words, he wasn’t mentally sound…).

She’s come back home after graduating and the few times that we’ve talked about reconnecting, she keeps mentioning how we aren’t as close and how I’ve changed.

While there’s no doubt that I’ve changed - I’m having trouble finding the patience to explain to her how badly she hurt me when she just suddenly cut me out of her life; and that no wonder I’ve changed in the last two years bc she hasn’t been in my life.

She just keeps saying how I’ve changed and we aren’t as close - it almost makes me feel as if I’m losing her as a best friend again. Any advice would help, I don’t want to entirely blame her; but it wasn’t exactly my choice to lose her in the first place :(

[kylee2437]

Hmmm so I’ve been in her shoes before myself and personally I’m very thankful that my friends understood my situation and decided to move forward and continue being friends with me even though they didn’t have to. So I think personally you have a right to move how you would like , but also at the same time if you are welcoming her back into your life, you should definitely just be completely honest about how that made you feel. Welcoming someone back into your life meanwhile holding a grudge against them is 100% toxic. You have a right to feel, but if you can’t get past that feeling, it’s best to move on and not contact her. Seems like to me she went through an abusive relationship and she needs people around that will continue to support her regardless of what she did to fulfill that abusive relationship. Take some time to understand what abusive relationships consist of and understand that she most likely had no intent to actually cut you off for personal reasons

[Minahelp]

Unfortunately, when some people get into a relationship, they tend to cut friends off for their partner, despite the importance of that friendship.
Maybe your friend is embarrassed to accept that she done wrong by distancing and at times it’s easier to deflect the situation rather than taking accountability. If this friendship is a value to you and you would like to save it, I would suggest on having an in depth conversation - in regards to her relationship, her transition, your transition, both of your feelings and ways to form a new friendship rather than saving the old one. You and her might have evolved in so many ways within the last 2 years, and as such love relationships, unfortunately friend relationships also has a time where it has ran it’s course and finished serving it’s purpose. The only way for you to both figure this out is by trying to see if you both are on similar pages again

[mark000h]

I think you really need to tell her how much she hurt you and how you feel. You are entitled to your feelings.

[Wise4myage]

Why haven't you blocked her?