Do you think it is more helpful to foster MULTIPLE children, providing a safe place to land while they wait for a 🏡, or to adopt ONE child?

Question

I’m not in a position atm, but I think in the future id like to either foster children or adopt one. It’s not the same I rescue animals and with animals I always feel like it’s so much more helpful to foster many bc all of them find homes rather then adopt one give it whole but the ones in need of ahold can be put down. Children won’t be put down but they may end up stuck in “public housing” theory ought childhood. Plus often the ones most in need of foster care have been looked over. If any of the children wanted to be adopted eventually, I guess we could look into it but I feel funny just saying ok I’ll take this child... I think they should have a chance to be age then decide to themselves who they are comfortable with.

I lost my parents young I had beautiful too few years with my great grandmother, then nearly a deface of hell (till I ran away) w/ my guardian... I’d like to be a safe place for kids who need it. Dk i guess I Lean towards foster.

Internet mother & child walking through water & flowers 🐘

Alessa13 · Accepted Answer

I was put into foster care and I found the system to be great. My sister and I did get to meet the prospective foster family before hand and talk to our worker first to raise any concerns we may of had.

Then each week the social worker would come take us out, away from the family and talk to us about our concerns.

I say fostering and adoption are both good but fostering is cheaper. It costs a lot to adopt but often no money associated with fostering.

The state paid people to be foster parents, not as a salary but to help offset their expenses. It is not meant to be income, it is meant to cover most the costs associated with having foster children.

"I feel funny just saying ok I’ll take this child... I think they should have a chance to be age then decide to themselves who they are comfortable with."

Maybe your area gives you a list and you might feel funny picking one as if your shopping but that is not how it worked here. Here the case worker would call and say they have a good match for you. Tell you details about the child (or siblings) as they try to keep siblings together.

You can say you liked to meet them first or not interested. Some placements are temporary, for a month or a few weeks. Some have no time frame on them.

They won't tell you much though about the background or why they are in the system because that is private information.

They can give very basic general information, such as... they are abuse victims or this person is in the system because they were a abuser. Without details of what actually happened. Very basic information, they will try not place an abuser with a family that has children already that could be abused by someone.

Prospective foster parents also go through a bunch of training, classes to get certified/licensed.

I will be fostering when I get older and more stable.

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

I hear some great stories about the foster system here, but I hear other states have some horror stories.

It is rare to hear bad things here. Sure they need more help and I did look into it briefly and it was strange.

My older brother fostered two girls, troubled teens and they both were suppose to be temporary until their mothers met the state requirements/court orders to get them back.

One of the girls, her mother said she didn't think the state had a right to take the child and would not jump through any hoops and refused to do anything required.

The other one, the mother died of a drug overdose. Neither girl had a father in the picture.

My brother and his wife ended up adopting them after several years, but it was kind of odd to me, because one got adopted at 18 and the other 17. Why bother if almost an adult or an adult?

Either way, they became part of his family.

I think helping to foster can turn into adoption, but foster is a more immediate need. To get them somewhere safe and stable. As they live in youth homes until they can find a foster home.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

I like the idea, I had similar but haven't committed. I think as long as you have solid support, foster is ok. we need more good foster homes. Adopt maybe, if the match is good.

Dogs are permanent 1.5 yr old people, some maybe a little smarter and they get obedient or at least you understand their range. Cats can just run away and feed themselves.

Humans can be a handful and emotionally draining to deal with problems that may be beyond what you can handle. Stress and that's true of kids made by the parents. You want to have some parenting skills, teaching, social work, or support group.

We are doing well with our teens but it takes work to get them over some humps.

How about start at big brothers/sisters and volunteer with foster.

I visited orphanage and was really heart breaking. the kids had loving caregivers, but had been so abandoned and abused.

Find the inspiration to save whom you can...

WindAtMyBack · Accepted Answer

Either and/or both. Adoption is more of a commitment. I hate to say it, but some of those kids can be major trouble, even life threatening. I also hate to say it, but if you foster and they do become a major problem you have an out compared to adopting,

I've seen it happen before. My best friend worked with troubled kids for many years (as a teacher). He eventually took in a brother and sister from the school. They ended up dumping the brother because they literal felt their lives were in danger. This was someone who was a professional and knew what he was getting into. The sister turned out pretty good. I don't know what happened to the brother.

Anyway, I actually just came here to look at the cool elephant picture. I ended up answering. Elephants are the coolest animals, and the smartest.

whirled_up_girl · Answer

I know someone who is a foster mom and it's challenging but she is really great at it, those kids are very loved though it's heart breaking sometimes when they have to move on to another home. Many times she fosters for children that will eventually be returned to their parents or sometimes they go to live with other family members. I think it's honorable that you are considering to someday do either so I don't want to sway you either way. I also know people who have adopted children and others who were adopted as children and that's a wonderful thing to do as well.

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Damn, I always thought "fostering" and "adoption" was the same thing, so I just learned something new today. Fostering sounds kind of like you're trying different products to see if you want to keep it. I'll be honest, I think a lot of foster kids are mentally messed up from things that happened at home. Yeah, no thanks. Adoption might be fine, but you don't know the kid will turn out when they're older.

Why don't you just make your own? Why are you so scared to have sex?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Wow! What a wonderful idea! :) 💚
I have always wanted to mentor youth, but I guess I have never really thought about having one stay in my home. But I would feel a lot more comfortable with that if I had a female partner, because then it wouldn't look weird.

I think I could totally get on board with the idea of fostering, as long as it was one at a time so that it wouldn't be too overwhelming. I had a troubled childhood myself, and there were several occasions where I went to stay with other families. I really appreciated their hospitality, and their kindness meant a lot to me during that difficult time.

As far as ADOPTING another human being, I would be very hesitant to do that, just because of the level of responsibility involved and the long-term commitment. (I'm just being honest. These are just my true thoughts. I hope you don't think I'm a bad person.). I'm not saying never, of course. These are just my feelings on the matter at the present time.

Anonymous · Answer

Foster. I watched a documentary on the foster care system. And I think that's a great measuring stick for if you're up to the task of adopting.

My sister and her husband temporarily fostered a kid before they adopted. I felt so bad for that kid. Because when he got sent back to his parents he was hiding food in his backpack. I can only imagine what he was going back to.

But back to that documentary they highlighted this woman who fostered many, many, kids. I swear man, she was like Supermom.

Anonymous · Answer

Fostering is more helpful for the kids but adopting is better for you. Be selfless or be selfish but either way you help at least 1 child. If you're going to foster though I'd recommend doing it very different. These kids are often messed up from what I hear. You can teach them how to have a good life and teach them they are worth something. But first you have to learn all that yourself. Odds are you need to.

Whatthefluff · Answer

If the situation was right, I’d want to foster parent to take on the experience of parenthood and “rehearse” in a sense. I feel happy with the idea of having both biological and adopted kids, maybe one of each?

Anonymous · Answer

I think that even if you were going to adopt it would make the most sense to foster first then if you decide that you really enjoy a particular child and want to develop that relationship further then you can.

SnowedIn · Answer

There's a huge need for both. But, adopt is my answer. It gives you the ability to really invest in that child for the long term.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Take Children in that are young, like a baby, but these teenagers are too much of a hassle and some run away.

Grond21 · Answer

Adopt one. It is better to raise one child well then multiple badly

Mayo503 · Answer

Why can’t you do both that’s the best thing to do isn’t it?

Guardian45 · Answer

Whatever you can afford

EaterPeter · Answer

One or two though 4 years apart in age

CubaPirate · Answer

I'd rather see the job through withjyst one

Do you think it is more helpful to foster MULTIPLE children, providing a safe place to land while they wait for a 🏡, or to adopt ONE child?

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