Yesterday I went to a coffee shop with 3 of my friends from college. Fake names; Flora, Tiff, and Jack. So me, Flora, and Tiff, we ordered a food and a drink. But Jack didn’t order anything. I keep it positive that he would probably order something when we’re in the middle of our conversations.
After the 3 of us finished eating, we chatted a little bit together, and suddenly Jack asked me if he can order something from the menu and he told me he wants a coffee. I was like a bit confused like why did he ask me for that? He could just call the waiter or something. But then I was like, “ok I can call the waiters for you, what do you wanna order?”.
Then he said, “no I mean you pay for my coffee right?” “What do you mean? No” “It’s just one coffee” “No”. After I said no, I changed my mind out of the blue, I told him to just order it and I will pay ( even though I don’t feel like paying for it ). And he didn’t respond. 🤷♀️
I was kinda confused and wondering about what makes him think that I would pay for his coffee, meanwhile he ain’t even my bestie; he’s just a regular friend; WE are just regular friends from college. And after I said no, he laughed a bit and told us that it was just a joke (with an irritated/upset FACE). But all 3 of us the girls went silent and a bit awkward then laughed it off; we thought he was gonna order it and pay anyway. He’s not.
And after we leave the coffee shop.. Flora and Tiff looked at me weirdly, like giving me a side-eye, when I asked them if it wasn’t my responsibility to pay for Jack’s coffee, right? I mean, am I wrong or am I an asshole for this? I’m starting to feel bad for Jack but I don't know I just feel like I don’t have to pay for anyones coffee. Also I only ordered a barely two dollars drink WHICH is just water because i’m currently on a diet.. So why would I pay for Jack’s drink (it was $3)?
What would you advise me please?
(by the way we’re not from the asia countries so everything was pretty cheap if you're wondering)
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
You did the right thing, Jack can go fuck himself.
It's not rude to say no, but it is rude to expect someone to pay for you.
You can ask someone nicely and offer to pay them back, but he didn't do that
"Hey is there any way you could buy me a coffee? I hate to ask, but I don't have any money. I'll pay you back or get you next time?"
Saying no to that might be a little rude. But even so, it's your money
I’m also tight on money so I won’t pay for anyones stuff.
I feel like I’m cornered by my other two friends Flora and Tiff, they looked at me like I’m some sort of a stingy asshole. Is this a form of gaslighting? It feels like they’re on Jack’s side about this… Now I’m distancing myself from them all
If you were me. What would you do in this whole situation?
Well if they're so high and mighty, why didn't they offer to pay?
If I was you, I'd forget about it. If they still weren't over it by the next time I saw them, I'd stop hanging out with them.
But I've ditched friends for a lot less than that, so I wouldn't follow my lead on this one lol