How to handle family members who keep trying to get you to move out of the city even though you like it there?

[Anonymous]

My family trash talks where I live (Chicago) and says how “unsafe” it is, but they never come here and just hear stuff on the news. It’s safe in the location I live. Anyway they always tell me I should move back here and get an apartment, should work out here, try hooking me up with guys who live out here. I’m getting tired of it because I worked very hard to get to where I am with my job and I actually love the city. They’re really starting to piss me off because it’s a small town I’m from and it’s not where I’d fit in socially, etc. I constantly have to come back here for all these family events even though I love staying in the city.

[WonderBell99]

It is about as dangerous as any other place in this world. Crimes can happen anywhere. I’m from a country which is regarded as “dangerous”, but aside from some creeps staring at me, I’ve never had someone assault me or anything. Besides, my neighborhood is extremely safe and has two securities who rotate between night shifts and day shifts along with CCTV cameras.

You don’t have to listen to them. I do understand how annoying it can be, but that’s what family does - they worry. A lot. It’s up to you whether or not to take up their suggestions and go through with it. If you love your job and your neighborhood is safe, I see no reason why you should move back to your town.

[Asker]

I just feel like they can never be happy for me. I love living in the city. I would not fit in with the social scene in my home town; it’s unsophisticated, no offense. I meet so many interesting people in Chicago and I keep growing as a person. I was in town for my birthday and my brother in law was trying to hook me up with a guy friend of his, then said I should try to get an apartment there. I’m getting frustrated af because it’s not the right environment and I want to shut them down whenever they tell me what I should do.

[strateguy632]

that sounds like a difficult challenge i suggest saying once " i live in a safe part" if they continue or repeat add the "reflect method" saying "i see you care about me and i value that but we MUST change from this subject because you are getting annoying".

[Asker]

I want to keep a healthy distance.