Does the divorce of parents have strong effects on the development of the child?

[Luopio27]

[smashleyy]

yes it’s going to effect the child but to what degree depends on the parents. From what I've witnessed a handful of people who divorce end up bitter, being inconsistent, using triangulation or the kids as a way to hurt the other parent. I don’t think it’s divorce itself that causes the most harm it’s immature behaviour from one or both parents who put their emotions above their child’s needs that is the real issue.
Staying in shitty marriages isn’t the answer either. Monkey see monkey do😂. As a parent your own behaviour and how you handle things is very influential especially on young children cause that’s when emotional intelligence develops. staying in a marriage that’s loveless, toxic, or abusive “for the children” is not a selfless act it’s selfish and just an excuse people use to not get themselves and the kids out of a bad situation cause change and being alone for a lot of people is uncomfortable. Kids learn love from what they see and watching you the parent stay and put up with b. s subconsciously gives them a distorted outlook on what love is suppose to look like, shows them love is suppose to hurt and being disrespected is normal. Chances are high they’ll end up in their own shitty relationship cycles as adults

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Speaking as a child of divorce, my personal experience is that it wouldn’t have really changed my development, it would have changed how my parents developed if they’d stayed together and were miserable about it, but otherwise I came out fairly well-adjusted. I do know that for some kids, the divorce of their parents is often a relief especially if it’s a couple that constantly fight and argue and cause a very real discordant energy in the house that the kid can pick up on. I never remember hearing my parents fight but I know my brother did, we’re both normal people with no real issues. But our parents also made sure to get us therapy so there’s also that.

[midnightmoon05]

I like the picture you posted along with yuur question. It says everything about what a divorce does to a kid.
I am not a product…but my ex husband did decide to leave the marriage. And I constantly continue to get him involved even though it’s share custody without any alimony or child support.
At the end…. I, the mother has a lot of power with how these kids will become in the future after daddy decided to break up the family. So…I continue to insisting involvement regardless of how he disrespected me…. after 10’yrs…kids are in a much better place with their development and understanding of their upbringing and support from both parents living in two separated homes means that they have 2 homes. 2 dads, 2 moms…and with hard work…we all rise to be privilege because the we is still with us and the kids.
they are attending very good schools and have lots of plans with their dreams and goals. We plan out the improvemence of their health, education, social/family responsibilities, making good friends, making good decisions, and we teach kids about finances that no family talk about much of anymore. They are ahead of many others who are in two parents who are happy or not happy.

great question.

[midnightmoon05]

Even under this circumstance…. I did not nag my ex. about working together to raise kids…I use strategies that show beneficial to kids well being/success when we put our selfishness aside.

[Luopio27]

Your answer was very thoughtful and eye opening. When you said they have 2 homes, dads and moms, I never thought of it that way.

[midnightmoon05]

That came from my son when he was around 11/12 years old… by then both ex. and I met our new spouses and plan to stay together. He spends more time with dad. Daughter spends more time with me… this whole summer…both kids with me and second husband. We are traveling throughout Europe for 7-8 weeks. Kids are 14,16. Through our travel they also learn about different cultures/history/societies/humanity.
Our goals are to raise them to be kind to themselves and to others. Understand those who are different/more privileged/less fortunate. So that grow up to make decisions based on the needs of the society.

My wish is for those who are in divorced situations to put their kid (s) first … but I don’t know how…

[gorydetails]

“The strongest predictor of whether a person will end up in prison, is that they were raised by a single parent”. C. C. Harper and S. S. McLanahan, “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration”, Paper presented at the Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Assoc., San Francisco, CA, 1998

In 1996, 70% of inmates in state juvenile detention centers serving long sentences, were raised by single mothers. Wade Horn, “Why There Is No Substitute For Parents”, IMPRIMIS 26, NO.6, June, 1997

72% of juvenile murderers, and 60% of rapists came from single mother homes. Chuck Colson, “How Shall We Live?” Tyndale House , 2004, p.323

“After controlling for single motherhood, the difference between black and white crime rates disappeared.” Progressive Policy Institute, 1990, quoted by David Blankenhorn, “Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem,” New York, Harper Perennial, 1996, p.31

“Girls raised without fathers are more sexually promiscuous, and more likely to end up divorced.” Wade Horn, “Why There Is No Substitute For Parents”, IMPRIMIS 26, No.6, June, 1997

70% of teen births occur to girls in single mother homes. David T. Lykken, “Reconstructing Fathers”, American Psychologist 55, 681,681, 2000

63% of all youth suicides,
70% of all teen pregnancies,
71% of all adolescent chemical/substance abusers,
80% of all prison inmates, and
90% of all homeless and runaway children, came from single mother homes.

Children brought up in single mother homes are:
5 times more likely to commit suicide,
9 times more likely to drop out of high school,
10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances,
14 times more likely to commit rape,
20 times more likely to end up in prison,
32 times more likely to run away from home.

[Luopio27]

This is a very shocking answer. I mean you mentioned the source of all you stats without pulling numbers out of snyones ass.

It is true that there is no substitute for parent. Some do seek for that substitute throgh their teachers and youth workers, the temporary mother or father figure.

[gorydetails]

Ross Perot knew this shit in the 90s. He really should have won the presidency.

[Smashingdoozy]

Development in general? No. Behavioural development? absolutely. A family splitting is just as damaging as a death in the family when not properly coped with.

Obviously a couple shouldn't stay together if they are unhappy, the effects of that on the child is equally as damaging. There are ways of helping children through divorce so they don't experience the issues that can come with it. Open lines of communication are key and depending on the child talking to a professional is recommended.

Issues really only arise when nothing is done to help the child through the situation.

[zebronics]

Yes, the divorce of parents can have significant effects on the development of a child. Research suggests that children of divorced parents may experience emotional distress, behavioral issues, and difficulties in social relationships. The disruption of family dynamics, changes in living arrangements, and potential conflicts between parents can contribute to these challenges. However, it's important to note that the impact can vary depending on factors such as the child's age, temperament, and the level of parental conflict before and after the divorce. Supportive environments and effective co-parenting can help mitigate the negative effects and promote healthy development.

[Zatsuma]

Yup, I have parents that both made bad decisions when it came to their kids after they split, and that's what affected me. After the inevitable hit me, I made sure my kid wasn't going to have that happen by making sure both parents were in his life no matter what and that family still can exist, even if they are not together.

[slatyb]

One way or another. If the home was full of drama, then it is likely that divorcing will be better for everyone. This is particularly true if one parent was responsible for all the drama.

[Luopio27]

You are right. Kids should not have to witness arguments of adults.

[inhua]

yes especially if they are weaponized against the other parent

[Luopio27]

Weaponized? Like how?

[inhua]

when the mother manipulates the kids to lie about their father abusing or molesting them so she can get full custody of them

[Luopio27]

That is fucking terrifying.

[boggboss]

Ofc it does lol but what needs to be considered is if it would be a bigger hit being a child and growing up in a broken family unit that are still together

[AaronKrieger]

Somewhat, but what really impacts the kids is how the divorce is conducted prior and after it's already done. Also, what the divorce ends up leading to.

[DextroShade]

Divorce is terrible for children and they usually end up being mostly raised by the mother. Children raised by single mothers have far worse outcomes.

[NotInterestedSorry]

Divorce may be terrible but having grown up in a home where my parents constantly argued and fought and at times was abusive. Sometimes Divorce is the better option.

[Luopio27]

Dex: there are just as many single dads out there and also females are capable of neglecting parential duties. But yea, it takes both parents to give kids the best platform.

[Luopio27]

@Not I agree that having parents argue is just traumatising for kids. My parents argued every week.

[DextroShade]

Children raised by single dads to better than children raised by single mothers, but mothers get custody 90% of the time.

[midnightmoon05]

Regardless of raised by either parent…the kid (s) will always have a void.
Even thought I don’t favor divorce…if it does happen…it’s important that both parents behave as adults to care for the child/children because they are the most innocent and the victim of two adults who chose to not work things out for the kids sake. They should proof to the court that they both take turn to care of the kid (a) 3-4 times per week per parent. Divorce is not a document that says one parent is better than the other to raise the kid (s).

[exitseven]

Yes, I am the product of a broken home. It effected all my relationships. I never saw a good relationship up close so I did not know how it was supposed to work.

[richardcory]

It has an effect, but not as bad as the effect on children of being raised by parents who don't love each other.

[Sasha0426]

Of course! It always will. I know it destroyed me when my parents split. But, as time went on, I realized they were happier and they both remarried their true loves 🥰

[BrickBiggems]

"Does stepping on a land mine have a strong effect on life expectancy?" The answer is yes.

[Provingdatruth]

YES! If a son lives with his mom, he will not be guaranteed to be an alpha or be masculine as he can be. I grew up with that life.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it does. So much that a child have to go through with those effects for their rest of life.

[TiaNour]

Of course it does

[Anonymous]

It did on me

[Luopio27]

How so?

[SnowedIn]

Without question!

[Anonymous]

Yeah, sometimes it does

[gothbxtch]

i think it depends

[jahaims]

Duh.