I'm a grown woman now but I was raised in an Asian household which means some aspects are just a cultural thing. Before you judge, my mother is a dedicated woman who cares for me. Since I was a kid, I had OCD ( I'm diagnosed now) but whenever I used to show symptoms (like washing my hands excessively or opening/ closing the door 3 times) she'd yell and beat me up saying I was a weirdo. She'd call me "psycho" and throw things at me as she hates having a child that's "mental."
In my early teens, she cut my hair off for showing OCD symptoms and when I started crying she'd kick me until I was quiet. I'd cry in silent and hours later she'd feel bad and hug me so I'd forget about it.
I grew up thinking it was normal and that I deserved it. In my late teens, I was being bullied at school for being a nerd (which led to depression) and when I failed an exam, my mum yelled at me, called me a dumb pathetic loser, mocked me and said she didn't want to see my face. I pleaded for her to stop, but she hurled abuse until I couldn't take it anymore. I stood by the train tracks wanting to jump. Within months, I developed depression and resultingly failed uni. I wasn't suicidal but fantasied about it like it was the only hope. My parents blamed me for failing uni, I was humiliated at family gatherings and I was told I deserved it as it was my fault for being a failure. They didn't know or cared that I was depressed and self harming would only label me as as psycho.
I now reflect back and realise that other kids were treated better even when they were far worse.
While I know my mum's wrong, I'm not sure how much of this is just a cultural thing to discipline.
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tiger parenting is a common staple within Asian culture however one must be mentally equipped to handle such
if you were a son, this would make sense to a degree but definitely not for a daughter
Whether it be a son or daughter there's a very high focus on academic achievement. I was also a very high achieving student.
But the question is not about that, I'm literally asking if this is abuse or not
by western standards yes. by eastern standards no. though I would say the physicality is definitely excessive and enough physicality can lead to kids believing in violence
sons and daughters in the east are raised to just like sons whereas sons and daughters in the west are raised to be like daughters
a good parenting strategy would be to raise both differently. boys should be able to handle the type of parenting you received. if they can't handle discipline or "mockery" from parents, they won't handle it from their peers, their bullies, can't handle rejection from girls etc.
girls on the other hand are suppose to be nurturing and understanding otherwise they grow up wanting to abuse their kids too, not saying this is what you would do but abusive women have usually been abused themselves
Thats not culture, your mom is just an asshole.