What would you do if your parents do the things you hate the most (they know what it is)?

[Anonymous]

[zeitgeist057]

Speaking as a behaviorist, people will do what gives them (positive) rewards, and not do what gives them (negative) consequences.

There are various ways of training people to do (or not do) what you want. There are two basic elements that can be combined in four ways. Positive/negative is one element, reinforcement/punishment is the other.

Positive reinforcement: Give something they like when they do what you want. Simple and powerful (and free) is praise. "Good job, Jim! You did such a good job helping me put away the groceries! You're a very helpful guy, and I like having you around."

Positive punishment: Take away something they like when they do something you don't want, or refuse to do what you want. You can make this a "natural consequence" by showing the cause and effect: "Jim, you didn't help me put away groceries. I'm feeling too tired now to give you a blowjob, because I had to do it all by myself."

Negative reinforcement: Remove something unpleasant as a reward "Jim, you helped put away the groceries and I feel like cooking something special for you. We can throw out the rest of that liver and squid soup we were going to have tonight; I'm making lasagna!" Actually that would be negative reinforcement (no nasty soup) + positive reinforcement (adding delicious lasagna)

Negative punishment: Add something they don't like when they exhibit the undesirable behavior. Example: Jim poops on the carpet, you spray Jim with the squirt bottle while he poops. Example #2: Parents have TV on too loud, so you go in and sit next to them and repeat everything that is said on the TV in a loud voice.

These are very basic and not well thought out examples, but just to give you an idea. It's best to try and use positive reinforcement whenever possible, and negative punishment as little as possible (never, if you can). There are a lot of other tools you can use and elements to this.

Consistency is key, and replacing undesirable behavior with desirable behavior is often clutch. You can't expect someone to simply stop doing what they do; it's much more effective to provide them with an alternative, and super effective if the alternative appeals to them more than what they were originally doing.

[Anonymous]

I resolve the issue. For example, I know that my parent is a gossiper and will hop on the phone to chat about whatever I told them in private. So now I just don’t say anything I wouldn’t mind getting out to other people. Damage control.