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I am so sorry you went through all that.
That's honestly awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you. This is the problem with these types of issues. A lot of dark water has gone under that bridge, but at the same time a lot of love has also. Still that behavior of hers is not justified in the slightest.I'd learn to forgive, and by forgive, accept what has happened, but don't forget it. None of what happened is your fault! Therapy for yourself might add some further clarity you need to get through this.
Thanks, I don't forgive. But I don't resent in the same way normal people would so it's not dangerous or anything. Because I understand that we don't have as much free will as we think we do. And her tendencies are because of the way she was raised. She endured more physical & mental abuse than I did when she was a kid. Which caused her anger issues that caused her abusive behaviors. So I view her just as I view everyone that suffers. An unlucky primate.And I'll probably go to therapy when she's like dead or something. Because I wouldn't want them to arrest her or anything.
That's understandable. And that's also a very incisive way of looking at her psychology. I was never physically abused as a kid, but some very questionable things went down that I won't go into. So in a way I can kind of relate to how you feel.You can always try therapy, but keep it anonymous. A therapist/psychiatrist is bound by law to keep things confidential. But that doesn't apply to some crimes, so I guess you could wait. The main thing is don't let it eat you up, you look like you're a similar age to me so the pain may be still fresh. If you're hurting, seek help. I'm always around every few hours on here.
Thanks man, you're very kind! I don't think it eats me up 🤔 But you never know though. Since I still feel negative emotions when I do think back & I can't even talk about it with the person that was the cause of them, maybe I should look into anonymous therapy. I think I'd prefer therapy where I can just talk to the person & spill out all of my emotions. I could even lie about the person who caused my suffering to avoid any police involvement. Like say that it was a stranger or something.And I do have very severe anxiety. Wouldn't be surprised if she was the cause of it. Didn't happen just once, but even something as simple as being in the same car with someone who's punching & screaming at the driver (who was my father) while stepping on the gas pedal & jerking the steering wheel could give a 10 year old ptsd. Now I don't think I have ptsd but I do have very addictive behaviors & destructive mindsets that severely hinder me from wanting to really try in life. I have no dreams of being anything anymore.Ofc she's not the main cause. I think that other factors could have possibly been more potent. Like being verbally bullied & rejected by my peers during developing stages, my dna being predisposed to certain brain states, etc. But boy it sure would be nice to be able to look at my own mother and not have memories of her being the worst human to ever impact my life.Guess it makes sense that I'm now an antinatalist. 🤣
Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry :(
@AnimeLOVE You don't have to be sorry. It is what it is.
Oh no :(I'm sure she didn't mean any of them :)
She did. I don’t talk to her anymore. But it’s alright lol