Is it wrong to not want a child with a disability?

Question

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

It definitely not wrong. Almost every parent wants the best possible future for their children, so it's not wrong.

I grew up in the country which is very reluctant to give women rights related to their bodies. Currently Poland has so strict abortion policy, that doctors avoid taking action if a baby in the womb is ill, deformed or even dead, waiting for natural action of mother's body.

Unfortunately sometimes it's fatal for the mother.

But let me tell you a story. As a young woman on my psychology studies I made internships in many places, including hospital for mental disorders, orphanages, Seniorheim. What never left me is the experience from the orphanage. As you probably know currently to such a place come children from abusive or dysfunctional families or just unwanted for any reason. No real orphans.

Those unwanted are really broken. They see every day as mother, grandma or uncle visit other kids and they are always alone. They develop several mental conditions, which result in inability to independent life in the future. They also die young, before their 40s, quite often taking their own lives.

What happens with unwanted sick or disabled child? They stay in the hospital as long as constant medical help is needed. Sometimes all their lonely longer or shorter life. There is not enough nurses to sing lullaby, to hug or just hold hand. They are sick, disabled and alone.

If there is a chance they are moved to other places to free the bed in the hospital.

So. My opinion is. If mother knows that baby will be sick, disabled or won't survive outside her body let her decide. It's better than what awaits that child later.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's not wrong. I myself have austim, dyslexia etc. My partner also has autsim, adhd and there was a chance he would of have downs syndrome when he was born.

We both also suffer from depression. I want kids, but I don't think we should have any of our own. I saw what my parents went through trying to get me help, and I don't want to go through that.

Having kids is life changing enough. Having a kid with a disability is another story. If I ever found out I was pregnant and the child is severely disabled, then I would consider the option not to go through with the pregnancy.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

This depends on what you mean. As for wanting healthy children. Yeah I think most people do want healthy children. But they can still love their child if they’re disabled. But most parents wouldn’t wish that on their kids.

NOW…. If a parent doesn’t want a kid because he or she has a disability. Then they have a problem

Guido · Accepted Answer

It's not wrong to not want a child with a disability but you don't always get what you want. I have a child with a disability and he is now 40. He is still just as important as any of my other children.

PetLover24 · Answer

As a child I lived in an extremely anti-abortion area & father worked for government.

He never told us any of the stories he had to deal with, but then he didn't need to. Everyone knew what was going on but only a few people (like dad) tried for changes.

In this area

The orphanages were over populated with disabled children. Dumped not unlike unwanted dogs. May sound harsh. But I use that comparison because these children were often the subject of mental, sexual & physical abuse in the birth home & foster homes. Were not treated as people - they were treated as nuisances, pests, and worse.

.

So no it's not wrong to not want a child with a disability.

What IS wrong is to harass, abuse & assault people who want to abort such.
It speaks poorly of the harassers' morals & ethics as harassing individuals will almost never offer support to those women or parents they abuse for getting an abortion.

What IS wrong is having a disabled child and then abandoning it. Ironically these people are very often those that abuse other people for getting an abortion of disabled children. So it's just a continual proof that they have a weak moral / ethical ideas.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

It’s not morally or ethically wrong to hope that your child doesn’t have to deal with additional struggles you or your spouse didn’t experience as a child such as a physical or mental disability.

What is wrong is saying that you refuse to love or care for a disabled child, or abandon your child because they’re disabled. I understand it’s not always expected, but that doesn’t mean you, as the parent who made the choice to commit to a partner and commit to a child to age into adulthood, get to back out because it’s “not a good kid” or something. Another thing that’s wrong is suggesting euthanasia for disabled children, to try to put them out of their misery. Again, I understand the sentiment as morbid as it is, but that’s a call you make for a dog, not a human being that can think and feel and understand exactly what you’re doing.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Its understandable to pray against the possibility. But if you end up having one, it would be wrong to just dispose of the child because of their disability

sheikalana · Answer

Is not wrong. A child with a disability will demand lots of your attention and they might need special care which will probably be an additional expense. We all have lives and jobs that occupy a great amount of our day is not always easy to balance things.

AviatorTom · Answer

It's perfectly normal to want one's children to be safe and healthy. But sometimes Mother Nature throws us a curve and we get a child with a disability. Parenting becomes harder, yet we are still the child's parent.

It's okay to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and wondering "Why me?"

A wise person once told me this...

The difference between a good parent and a bad parent is that the good parent only thinks about throwing the child out the window.

SotiCoto · Answer

Well sure, but you also have to consider that a lot of disabilities are due to the faulty genetics of the parents... and if you end up having kids with congenital conditions that harm their functionality as a living sophont, you should probably just stop breeding forever... because you'll just end up making more otherwise.

GOLDFISH_smile · Answer

It's fine to not want a child to have a disability, but it's not fine to want a child only if they don't have a disability. Literally anyone can be or become disabled.

LiamJHayden · Answer

At what point? Before the child is born it is natural to want a healthy child. After the child falls down the stairs and ends up paralyzed? I suppose it would be natural to want healing then, but to not want and put in a home? No bueno. I get angry when I see disabled pets abandoned. I might go John Reese on someone if a disabled child is abandoned.

Surely · Answer

Is it wrong to not want to have a child with a disability? No! But you can not always control what comes your way.
If you were the parent and something you did caused the disability. Then I guess you need to take control of your own decisions.

Bloodfeast · Answer

It's every parents worst fear. It's condemnation to a life of suffering taking care of your child. You might be diving into a life of pure suffering. It's no wonder people turn to God and religion.

FreyaRed · Answer

It's not. A child with disabilities demands lot of sacrifices and often are parents too optimistic.

TomMarks · Answer

It’s ok to hope a child doesn’t have issues before they are born. If a child is born with issues or difficulties then it’s very wrong to try to do away with them or send them away. Every child deserves parents that love them no matter what.

AliceM611 · Answer

It's wrong if you are rejecting your child because it has a disability but not wrong to not want your child to have the burden of a disabled

HelpfulWoman · Answer

Not wrong. Kids are fucking hard work already, nevermind having extra necessities. Not every parent is going to be cut out to deal with that.

TiaNour · Answer

it’s understandable for the people who don’t want a kid with a disability, but if your child ends up having one, it would be wrong to get rid of them just cuz of that.

dreamstar72 · Answer

I think it depends on if you had prior knowledge of the disability

Meropatrick · Answer

Of course its natural. No one wants a fucked up car, dress, house and not a fucked up child.

Al_Musafir · Answer

It's definitely not more wrong than 'I wish my child is born with a deformed leg.'

Daniela1982 · Answer

Why? You are bonkers so why not?

Joker_ · Answer

I actually prefer the disabled ones

Is it wrong to not want a child with a disability?

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