How can I get my stubborn friend to realize her friend is just using her?

[Anonymous]

Okay so I have this friend (let’s call her Nayla) and she is one of the most sweetest most genuine people you’d ever meet. She is autistic. Actually she’s WAY too nice to people. Anyways Nayla had this friend (let’s call her Hilary) that she’s known for four years. I met her probably a few times and quite frankly I don’t like her. Nayla has been telling me her “friend” Hilary has been having financial issues and is still looking for a job. Okay that happens but what I found out was that she has been giving her money each month! Like what the hell? I got mad at Nayla for lying to me and she knows I hate lies! Also Hilary has been using her to get back at her ex boyfriend and using her as a target to do her dirty work for her, something you can go to jail for. Plus she’s a whore because she bangs every man she sees. She even used a guy because she felt bad. I think Nayla knows she’s a slut but doesn’t wanna admit the truth. Nayla isn’t the confrontational kind of person and runs away from conflict. Hilary is an abuser and she doesn’t see it! I also found all Thai out from another ex friend of Hilary’s that used to be friends with her. She keeps saying she’s a great friend and she’s don’t know her. I was telling her the truth. One time at the casino, Hilary was asking Nayla to loan her some money and she kept giving it to her. I told her to knock it off and stop giving her money or else when she has nothing, she will leave. Nayla ignored me. Hilady asked me and I flat out said NO. I told Nayla that she needs to start saying no and put her food down and not giving in. That’s why she isn’t getting the respect she deserves because she’s too nice and let people push her around and she gets called weak because of it. How can I get my friend to dump her toxic AF friend? She won’t listen to me and gets angry when I spoke the truth. Nayla is so damn stubborn and won’t listen to me! No offense, but are most autistic people naive? Why are most bad at social cues?

[bededazzle]

that’s an interesting question about if autistic people are naive. i mean of course everyone’s different but i kind of get what you mean. the short answer is you can’t get someone to realize something. i’m worried about this being bad advice, but in this case, i would confront hilary

[Asker]

You’re right. I’ll have to confront her and it won’t be pretty. I tend to be a straightforward person but something needs to be done. Nayla is too nice to confront her so I guess I’ll have to do it. I’m sick of speaking for her even I’m her close friend. She needs to start standing up for herself. She’s a grown ass woman and she should not let it happen. She isn’t five years old. She’s 26.

[bededazzle]

i hear your frustration. but she’s autistic. she may just totally lack the skills. it’s not your job to babysit, but on the other hand, some people will take advantage of people with mental handicaps. i have an autistic friend as well, but i am no expert at all. there may be a way to get your friends to learn new skills. you do sound like a boss though so i wouldn’t want to be hilary lol

[bededazzle]

actually the truth is i haven’t seen my friend for a while. autistic people are deserving of love, but it can be kind of draining tbh…

[Asker]

Yeah quite frankly I have to agree with you. Autistic people are very exhausting and I get burnt out by my autistic friend. Just being honest. I wouldn’t wanna date an autistic man.

[ThrillSeeker01]

I think that you've done everything you can for her. Some people just can't handle the truth and don't want to believe that they are in a bad relationship

[Asker]

Well unfortunately she can’t handle the truth and I hate to watch her get shitted on but I guess it’s the only way she will realized that Hilary is no good. The friendship she is in is toxic and I keep telling her I AM A TRUE FRIEND but she keeps pushing me so that’s it’s

[Cutegirl06]

I don't know any autistic people, I don't know how you can get her to listen to you but you are certainly a good friend trying to help her.

[Asker]

Yeah but she JUST won't LISTEN! Even her mom have been trying to get her to listen but she is too goddamn nice and she refuses to see the truth. Hilary is no good and always talks crap about her dad when he abandoned her and said to her face how lucky that her dad never left her unlike her dad. She said it straight to her face! Nayla said that never happened but I know it did. She just too stubborn to admit it. She think’s everything is all wonderful and everyone is nice. She has too much high expectations and she will end up disappointed. She’s the first autistic person I’m friends with and she can be very pleasant and greet you but she is tiring and I get burnt out being around her.

[Cutegirl06]

Well at least you tried to help her. I hate when people take advantage of others

[In_Trance]

you can't

[Asker]

So what am I supposed to do?

[In_Trance]

Get some popcorn and watch it burn

[Asker]

I guess I’ll have to watch her get hurt and cow down. She better not cry to me because I warned her stubborn ass.