How to deal with a condescending, belittling parent?

[Anonymous]

my dad just can be very mean, verbally abusive, condescending, belittling when angry or stressed. Most times his stress comes from absolutely nothing or things a normal human being wouldn’t be stressed over. He also yells a lot in my family. I love him, but it hurts my feelings most times and I sometimes cry alone when he comes at me like this but I just walk away now instead of going back and forth to make things worse. But whoever experienced near the same, how do you really cope?

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that sounds rough to deal with. Having a parent talk down to you and make you feel small really sucks. A few things that might help:

- Remember it says more about him than you when he acts that way. His stress is his problem, not a reflection of who you are.

- Try not to take the bait when he's yelling. Just remove yourself from the situation if you can until he calms down.

- Lean on other family/friends you trust to vent to so you have support. Don't bottle it up.

- Set boundaries - let him know disrespectful behavior is not ok. You deserve to feel safe at home.

- Could you talk to another trusted relative (maybe his parents?) about getting him help? His stress issues affect you guys.

- Take time for your hobbies/activities so you have an outlet separate from home stuff.

- Talk to a counselor if it's affecting your mental health. They can give coping strategies.

It's tough, but remember this phase will pass. Focus on your goals and becoming independent. You got this - your worth isn't defined by how one person treats you. Keep your head up!

[Jmmmfi4]

I LIVED WITH A FATHER LIKE THAT FOR FAR FAR TOO LONG... MY BEST ADVICE TO YOU IS GET AWAY FROM HIM ASAP

[rosemilk]

as people get older, they get meaner. i've noticed it too. they get so irritable, its scary. i hope you live away from him, for your mental health

[In_Trance]

Get your own place