I'm still hurt my wife called someone else's name but she said I should get over it... should I?

[Anonymous]

I'll refer to that other guy as David (not his real name). My wife had a deep crush on him from 6th to 10th grade. However, he never liked her back but has kept her as a friend. They never dated. They dated other people before she met me.

My wife is now 29 years old and we have two kids; a 5 year-old daughter and a 3 year-old son. Our children spent time with her parents last week. We spent time at home just the two of us and drank rum. While she was obviously drunk some time later, she started saying David and how she always loved him, oh my David why couldn't you love me back and suddenly started crying. Crying for another man!!!

My wife is shrugging it off as a drunken incident, that she never meant to hurt me and not to think too much. But it hurts. I can't get over everything she said and then crying about him. Or should I get over it as she's telling me too because they never even dated?

Updates

3 mo

Obviously I'm not going to leave because of that drunk incident but it does hurts. If we didn't have kids and she was just a girlfriend, then I might reconsider the relationship but we're not dating. We have a stable life, our children and responsibilities.

[aceleon]

divorce her immediately if you have an inch of self-respect inside you. no i'm serious, i would say the same if she didn't said i always loved you but now i, look at that part i don't just say divorce her but also cheat on her before you divorce her she deserves it also find a way to take your kids with you because sorry dude but you are either a troll or your wife is a whore and your kids are better off without her in their lives, if i had a mother like this i would disown her.

[Asker]

If nothing ever happened between them (even when she was drunk, she said David never even looked at her back then, never liked her back, never asked her out on a date) then that doesn't make her a cheater. This David guy she mentioned is also married and he lives in another state, far, far from us. Besides the one time that guy wished her a happy b-day on FB, he hasn't text her in years, years. The issue is she's in love with a fantasy, with someone that never gave her the time of the day. She loves a ghost basically.
So this can be solved by a marriage counselor or couple therapist?

[aceleon]

dude do you even hear yourself? you are admitting she is in love with something that isn't you, how much more do you need for it to count as cheating? counselor? what thing you possible expect it to do, for your wife to stop loving another person and love you instead while it is appearant she never did until now? are youexpecting the counselor to create a love potion or something? who cares about what david or any other mutt feels, YOUR WİFE loves someone else! do you really have to get physically cheated in order to realise you are cheated on from the beginning? where is your pride? where is your self-respect? where is your manhood for fuck sake?

[Anonymous]

There's nothing wrong with a woman still have innocent feelings for a man or a man having innocent feelings for a woman. To think people don't is just NOT realistic. But how she handled this was all wrong. I wouldn't forgive her if for no reason than she did this and instead of re-assuring you her response was "get over it"... nice lady.

Sorry man

[Asker]

yeah her response seemed insensitive. I'm sure if I had done the same thing (I had my share of past lovers too), she wouldn't like it either.
She thinks I should get over it because nothing ever happened between them, he's married and he's far, far away from us in another state.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I'm guessing this isn't worth blowing up the marriage for but I'd male her pay for it a little bit.

[KrakenAttackin]

Most women marry their second or third choice. 'David" is just another Chad who pumped and dumped her.

She has an abundance mindset with you. She thinks you will never leave or chest on her. You need to set her straight.

[KrakenAttackin]

Also, you should paternity test your kids.

[Asker]

While she was drunk, she admitted David never would even look at her and how she wished David would've ask her out. So she's basically in love with a fantasy, with a guy that never gave her the time of the day. Isn't that delusional already?

[Asker]

This David person she was crying over is married too and even lives in another state, far away from us.

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... Your wife is a mess who has no respect for you... I have been there, it won't end well.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Reason 200 why virgins are better 😂

[Asker]

But then you have to take things slower with virgins, you don't know if you're even sexually compatible and the teaching her part. I got tired of all that.

[Asker]

Like everything in life, they have disadvantages too.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Well I can assure you none of those disadvantages is her saying someone else's name 😂

[Asker]

The thing I don't understand is why she called out someone she never even kiss nor went out on a date? While she was drunk, she clearly stated he never gave her the time of the day, didn't even looked at her, never dated her. So she's been in love with a guy that placed on the forever platonic friendzone, in love with a fantasy?
She lost her virginity to someone else, not with David. She never did anything with David. Yet why she called out a guy she never even been intimate with nor dated?

[ChicoFromThe305]

Sounds to me like she did something with David, weither she's ashamed of it is another thing but David crossed her mind, now it's possible that if she didn't do anything with him she was emotionally attached to him and it's possible she might still have some feelings for him if she said something like that.