Is it okay for my mother to be treating me this way?

[Anonymous]

i’m 19 years old, i still live with my mom and im not in post secondary yet as i’ve been working the last year to save up for cosmetology school so that i can become a hairstylist. I was told less than 2 weeks ago that i’d be losing my job because i work at The Body Shop and the whole company has gone bankrupt, forcing us to shut down. i literally payed my mom $400 of my own hard earned money this morning because i pay her every month to live here at home. i also buy my own groceries and take care of myself. she looked me dead in the eyes and said “you better get another job right away because you’re an adult and you can’t live with me for free.” i literally told her that it could take some time and straight up she had the audacity to tell me that im “self entitled” and that im “manipulating” her? wtf? how?
also i’m her daughter, it’s not my job to take care of her. i want to move out and go to school but can’t fucking do that when half my money is going to her. i shouldn’t be helping her out, i don’t owe her anything.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know the ins and outs of your relationship with her, and I’m sure there’s more to it but I’m gonna base my opinion on just this context alone.


If I’m judging by what’s written here, I have to side with your mom. It is very much a privilege to have a parent who lets you stay under their roof once you turn 18. I had a friend who’s mother quite literally kicked him out on his 18th bday, he hitchhiked from California to Florida hoping to find work and no one (around here at least) has heard from him since. But my point in mentioning that is because his stories are one of thousands, where young adults aren’t given the mercy of staying home, even paying 400 for a room the parent (s) could just want them out for good.


This isn’t me saying your mother is 100% right, but she’s letting you stay there and wants you to be a real adult. You are so lucky to still have a home after losing your job, even if you hate it it’s more than a lot of folks get. Then to say it’s not your job to take care of your mom as if she’s asking you to handle all the bills, rent and her personal costs of living is just incredible.


I know it’s a frustrating time, and it’s hard to save because she’s got a hand in your pocket but that just means you either take on more responsibility with either a higher paying job or more hours at that job when you find it. Grind hard, so you can be done living with her and gain her respect as an adult and equal.


Side note, I am anonymizing this question because I don’t know how you’ll respond, I don’t feel like being disrespected then blocked because you don’t like what I have to say. So if you choose to respond and it’s civil, I will de-anon.

[karekaaaa]

Ohhhh so sad to hear that
I can help you...
Can give u a loan
Where are you from?

[strateguy632]

horrible you are family not strangers

[MrZameer]

It's so sad.
She must understand your situation

[laly520]

not ok