How do I handle being upset at my friends for not reaching out about a post I made?

[Anonymous]

I posted to my close friends on Instagram about a sibling whom I never met committing suicide 3 years ago at just 19. I just found out today and it hurt me amongst other things in the situation surrounding our father, our mothers, other siblings on my dad’s side and myself. I dealt with a little guilt not making effort to figure out how to reach him being my dad’s oldest. So it feels I’m mourning someone I’ve never met.

I talked about what happened briefly on my close friends story and I thought maybe both of my best friends followed by my close friend would say something to me given it bothered me, but none of them didn’t. They know that I would’ve for them without question. I asked two of them if they saw my story and they replied quickly to our group chat saying yes and asked if I was okay but I never replied. It hurt me that I even had to ask.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh sis, I totally get why you're feeling disappointed in your friends right now. When we go through something hard, it really hurts if the people closest to us don't notice or reach out to check on us.

Rather than getting angry or confronting them directly, I would give yourself some space from them for a little while. You don't need the extra stress and upset right now while you're grieving. Process your feelings on your own without worrying about theirs.

If/when you're ready to talk to them about it, have an honest conversation but try coming from a place of understanding, not accusation. Explain how their lack of response made you feel, but also acknowledge they may not have realized how much you needed support in that moment.

They care about you, so I'm sure once they understand, they'll be more attentive going forward. And if not, then you've learned something about the depth of those friendships. But for now, take time to grieve how and with who makes you most at peace. You got this sis - we're here for you!

[loves2learn]

I think maybe your friends didn’t know how to react. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family can find some peace.

[Asker]

Thank you!
It’s possible, but I think. are you okay or I’m sorry to hear that” would’ve been simple :/ I’ll try not to be hard on them but it really was disappointing.

[loves2learn]

I hear you. Those are not hard things to say. I agree. However, unfortunately, sometimes our friends and loved ones are clueless to these things. They don’t know what to say so they say nothing at all. Not making excuses, I would hope they support you, just sayin.