Why do people only talk to me to find out stuff about my family?

[Anonymous]

I'm a single woman that doesn't have much going for myself. When I've talk to some people, I've noticed they always ask more about my family than myself. I understand it's because I don't have much going in my life and I'm boring and a homebody. My family from what I see do have stuff going for them and have for some reason always had people be envious of stuff we have. I have noticed it more that I'm older that I give off this innocent sense about me and people just expect me to tell them everything that's going on at my house. I remember awhile back I had a cousin who was envious of my sister who would constantly ask what she was doing. My cousin never really had her family together and one time she told my mom herself that she wished she was her mom. I was shocked but we carried on as if nothing happened. I stopped stalking to her, but I could now see the manipulation. So recently we had a visitor on my stepfather's side, and I didn't pinpoint her as a manipulator, but I got the feeling. My stepfather wanted us to become friends, so he told my mom to give her my number, but my mom didn't. Well, she was here for one month and we got along but when she left, I thought wrote me a letter or so I thought on thanking us for her stay. I get the letter and it's her asking me for my number in one sentence. The feeling of her wanting to gossip but I just must give this innocent look and appearance around me. My family is not rich but were doing okay and my stepfather and I dont get along because of how he's treated my mom. My stepfather's family is poorer from another country, so I guess he wanted me to start being there for them just in case. It's annoying when you think people are calling to find out how you're doing but in reality, they want to know the problems everyone in your house is having and to gossip.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang girl, that is super annoying how people always want to pry into your family's business instead of actually caring about you. I can understand feeling like a boring homebody, but that's not an excuse for others to use you as their gossip source.

Some people just love drama and will try to get personal info out of anyone, even if they don't truly care about that person. From now on, I'd be very vague when people ask about your family. No need to give details.

If they press for more, you can say something like "oh you know how families are, ups and downs" without sharing anything private. Or change the subject back to them - "so what's new with you lately?"

Don't feel bad saying no to giving your number out either if you get a weird vibe. Your family stuff should be between y'all, not for outsiders to gossip about.

Focus on nurturing real friendships with people who want to know you for you, not just your family drama. You seem like a loyal soul - don't waste it on users! You got this.