Am I the asshole?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend picked up his 12 year old neice last Friday wich was fine with me but I thought she was staying at our house until Sunday because we both have to work 2nd and 3rd but instead she stayed. Now it's Tuesday, Sunday her mom called me freaking out because we left her alone and I had to leave early. Then yesterday the power breaker tripped and she went to our neighbors house crying 10:00 at night because she was scared so I had to leave work early again. So I told my boyfriend to take her home in the morning because it's not fair to her because we can't spend time with her and be here with her. when he got off work he just come home and went to bed I got angry and told him you are leaving work this time and I'm leaving to go stay at my mom's now he's mad at me am I ta?

[Cutegirl06]

Why would your boyfriend think it's okay to leave her alone overnight? I would've been scared at 12 being alone at night. you're boyfriend should have taken her home even if it meant he'd be late for work or just taken the day off. She's your boyfriends neice he should have been the one to take her home not you. Sounds like you took responsibility for her at least she had someone when she was scared.

[TommyMountainFigure]

None of it makes a whole lot of sense to me.

Why would your boyfriend let her stay beyond the weekend when he knows you both work and would be breaking the law by leaving a minor at home on her own without supervision? Why wouldn't he just tell her she can stay for the weekend?

Then why didn't you step in and say the same thing? Why was her mother who knows you both have to work not on the phone on the weekend telling her she can't stay there?

There are too many holes in this I do not understand.. The only thing I can fathom is she had an argument with her mother and didn't want to go home.

Then as if that wasn't enough.. you have the calendar dates all wrong too.

[Asker]

She has school break right now and I didn't know she was still staying until I was at work on Sunday night and her mother wanted her to come home it was my boyfriend that talked her mother into it. And she probably doesn't want to go home because her mom makes her do chores. My boyfriend claims he hasn't taken her home because he doesn't have gas money so I offered to give him gas money and he still didn't take her home.

[TommyMountainFigure]

This whole thing is such a mess. Is your boyfriend usually this thoughtless and obviously selfish because he thinks you'd be the one taking time off work to be with her?

[Asker]

Yes and if it didn't get any worse he flaked on his new job today for the 3rd time in 2 weeks to stay home because his back and legs hurt ( he has sciatica) he just got this job and I've been the one paying all the bills for 3 months and last year for half a year.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Things are suddenly becoming clear. His next step will be to lose his job and his niece will be the excuse!

[Asker]

If that happens I'm done being the kind hearted girlfriend and he can go live with his mom

[TommyMountainFigure]

It just all seemed cloudy to me when I first read your question.. None of his actions made sense.. Yours or her mother's either to be honest. but now you've explained it a bit more, I can see inside his head.

[Billlewis]

No, you're not wrong at all.

[EmmaMary]

First and foremost his niece is not your responsibility... Secondly is it your house or your boyfriend's... If it's jointly owned then you are certainly doing the right thing... Tell him he either sends her back to her mother, or you're staying put with your mother until he sorts this mess out once and for all.

[Asker]

It is jointly owned but I pay most of our bills

[EmmaMary]

In that case give him the ultimatum I've already mentioned.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[4ngelic]

you're not in the wrong for being mad.

i think the real problem is her mom and her parenting. a 12yo doesn't need a babysitter and it shouldn't be a scary situation for them to be alone. and they shouldn't be crying like a baby to the neighbors house at 10pm. they're in 6th-7th grade ffs. what kind of overprotective parenting is that

[Enginn]

No. I dont think she will stay there forever. Just have fun with her.

[andy530]

No you’re in the right