Am I a bad friend for having a crush on my best friends brother even after she said she didn’t like it?

[Anonymous]

i’ve been best friends with my best friend since high school we are now both 21, i’ve known her younger brother for as long as i have known her and i’ve always gotten on well with him and found him cute. in high school i had a thing for him in secret and only admitted it years and years after. recently in the year i spent some time with her brother at an event and we ended up talking lots and texting for two weeks after. at that point i really had strong feeling towards him so i came clean and told her. she said it weirded her out and that things would be different if i pursued him. we both agreed it would be best for me to stop talking to him. obviously she is the most important thing to me so i pushed my feelings aside but lately it’s been hard to ignore that i still think about him all the time. i don’t know what to do.

[_Maya_]

No it doesn't mean that you are a bad person or friend. We can't help who we like. I would argue the opposite that you are a good friend. You talked to your friend and both came to the agreement that you should stop talking to her brother and that is what you did. The fact that you still have feelings for someone that you like is natural and there is really nothing that you can do about that other than give it time. Eventually you will move on and find someone else and this will all be in the past and forgotten. I get that it is hard to deal with because you probably have to be around him given that it is your friends brother. My best advice is avoid doing things where he would be around. Suggest going out with your friend and doing things. Also be honest about it. It sounds as if your friend is semi understanding of the situation.

[Asker]

thank you for the proper response. i’ve tried to see other people and talked to other people but i keep finding myself thinking about him. i’m finding it too hard to move on

[_Maya_]

You're welcome and I get that it is hard. Is there any chance of sitting with your friend and really explaining your feelings? I know that will be an awkward and tough conversation, but it sounds like maybe if she really knew how much you cared for him she might change her mind. The point is to show her that her brother would be in good hands with you.

[molonski2]

He is younger , just leave him alone and let him find a girl younger than himself , you dont try and hit on young guys , especially a young guy that is your best friends brother , just leave it be , its not the correct thing to do , let him grow up and deal with his sex life.

[dudegreat91]

Nah you can't really control attraction like that

[In_Trance]

Bang him. See if it gets it out of your system

[Anonymous]

Avoid that circumstances stay out of it