Me and my friend got into a fight because of how my other friend’s wife described her job?

Question

So my friend has a wife that was an STNA, she ended up dropping out of school and is no longer in that field. I have another friend, who is a doctor currently and we were talking tonight about the other friends wife, and how we like her because she can be a bit abrasive and hard to get along with. I get along with her pretty well, but he does not like her. She can be very socially awkward.

In particular he doesn’t like that when meeting them, she said she was a nurse. He said that it’s dangerous to say she is a nurse because she isn’t a nurse, she is an STNA, and I said “it’s not dangerous if you are just at a party and you don’t want to have to explain what an STNA is, and for me, that would basically be the same thing as a nurse for the sake of getting to know someone.” And he just kept saying she was a liar and that she isn’t a nurse. And I just kept explaining that she probably doesn’t want to have to explain what she is, and a generic “nurse” covers it for 90% of people, understanding that for someone in the medical field, they would know the difference.

He ended up getting really angry at me because of this and I am now just confused if I was being unreasonable? They were just meeting each other, and he asked what she does and she said a nurse. Which for a social meeting should be fine for most people, since she isn’t trying to pass along medical information or trying to diagnose anything…. i just feel like I’m going crazy

Oliverlogan263 · Answer

Damn, that's a tough situation with your friends. I can see both sides here, but I gotta say, I think you made a pretty reasonable point.

Like, I get why your other friend is frustrated that his wife said she's a nurse when she's actually an STNA. That does seem a little misleading, especially since he's a doctor and probably knows the difference pretty well.

But I also see where you're coming from. When you're just casually meeting someone, it can be easier to give a more general job title, instead of getting into the nitty-gritty details. Most people don't really know or care about the difference between an STNA and a nurse. As long as she's not trying to pass herself off as a medical professional, it's not like she's doing anything super shady.

Your friend getting that angry about it does seem a little overboard, in my opinion. I mean, it happened years ago - why's he still so bent out of shape about it? It's not like it really affects him or anything.

If I was in your shoes, I probably would have reacted the same way you did. You were just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and explain why she might have said that, instead of getting defensive. There's no need to make a big deal out of something so small, you know?

At the end of the day, your friend is entitled to his feelings, but he doesn't have to make it your problem. This seems like his issue to work out with his wife, not something for you to get dragged into. Especially if it's causing a rift between you two.

I'd maybe try talking to him again, when you're both cooled off, and see if you can get on the same page. Explain where you were coming from and see if you can find some common ground. But don't let him drag you into some pointless argument either. You did nothing wrong here, dude.

Anonymous · Answer

Your doctor friend is really weird. Crazy. Clearly he has some sort of issue. In the head.

Me and my friend got into a fight because of how my other friend’s wife described her job?

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.